Everything There is a Reason

Simethings Can Not be Forgiven

Demelza knew in her heart the baby was Ross's, she could tell from the way Elizabeth had smirked at her. She couldn't sleep so she got out of bed and made her way down the cold stairs. She wished she knew what to do. She loved Ross and didn't Jeremy and Julia deserve a father? She took the path to Swale Church she wasn't much of a churchgoer, but she felt the need to pray. She was passing Francis's grave where she laid a flower and asked herself if it would have been different if he had not died. Would she and Ross have been happy? Although in all honesty there was a cooling of their long before he had died. She made her way to her in-law's grave; it did not matter there was no light for she knew the way by heart. She sat down on the grave her back resting against the headstone. I don't know what to do, maybe I should leave. Am I being selfish to keep my children away from their father, if it is Elizabeth he wants? What of this new child should not all his children know their father? Tears were streaming down her cheeks she should never have thought she could raise above her status. She was nothing but a maid, a miner's daughter. Ross would never think of her as being anything else. She was so tired of loving a man who could not be faithful, who no matter how much she sacrificed for him it was not enough that he would put her before his first love. She would leave right now if she thought Elizabeth would love her children, but she knew she would not.

As she sat there weeping, she asked why Ross would do this to her, with a woman that had tried to kill her and her son. A woman that had shown her nothing but hatred. A woman who had shown his children unkindness. The only answer she could come up with was that he loved Elizabeth more than her and their children. She fell asleep and had horrible dreams of her children being abused by Elizabeth and Ross doing nothing to intervene. Her children are being made to sleep in maid's quarters, her children being sent to bed hungry, her children enduring beatings at their stepmother's hands. All while Ross chanted, they are nothing more than a miner's brats' children.

She woke to someone shaking her, it was Dwight on his way back from Gambler. "Demelza what are you doing here?" "Thinking," she replied. Dwight sat beside her and asked, "of what?" Demelza laughed bitterly, "you know Dwight, everyone will know soon enough." "Elizabeth and the baby," Dwight asked? Demelza nodded. They sat for a long while neither saying anything as they watched the sun raise higher and higher in the sky. Dwight finally spoke up, "you and the children are always welcome to come live with me if you want. You may have your old job back and I will help with the children. Demelza nodded, "I will think on it, Dwight."

Ross got out of bed expecting Demelza to be down in the kitchen. He walked into Purdie helping Jeremy get breakfast. Jeremy was getting the cups and milk on the table. "Where's Demelza," Ross asked? "Don't know," said Purdie. Jeremy said, "Poppy said, it may be too late for you. She can't take anymore. What does that mean Pappa?" Ross looked at Jeremy, "Did Poppy say where Momma was?" Jeremy nodded, "he said with him and Grandma." Ross started to panic, his mother and father were dead. He didn't want to traumatize the boy by asking for details, but he needed to find out where Demelza was. Jeremy said, "Poppy said, she is with Uncle Dwight." Ross sighed in relief and then asked Purdie if she would keep an eye on the children so he could find his wife.

Ross saddled Darkie, he rode to the Gatehouse and pounded on the door. There was no answer at first then Bone, Dwight's manservant answered. Ross said, "where is Doctor Enys?" Bone answered him, "he be in Gambler, he has been all night. Don't know what time he be returning. Do ye want to leave a message sur?" Ross shook his head and said, "no I will go find him thank you." As he left, he wondered what Demelza was doing in Gambler. He was just coming to the churchyard when he saw Demelza and Dwight coming toward him. Demelza was sitting behind Dwight on his horse and a surge of jealousy went through Ross. When Ross caught up to them, he said, "Dwight" then turned his attention to Demelza, "what were you doing in Gambler?" Demelza gave him a blank stare, "I never was at Gambler." Ross thought this is much worse than I thought he asked, "where were you then?" Demelza said, "I was thinking of my and my children's choices." Ross looked at Dwight and asked, "were you with her all night?" Dwight said, "no, I was in Gambler I came across Demelza at Sunrise." Ross was furious Sunrise was hours ago what were they doing in all this time? Ross snarled at Dwight, "what were you doing with my wife for hours?" Demelza jumped down off the horse, "you have the nerve to ask me that. After your Mistress shows up here with child." Ross was taken aback by the hatred in his wife's eyes he had never seen her so angry. Then her words dawned on him. Thinking of choices for her and her children. He got off Darkie grabbing her arm, "Demelza it quite possibly the child could be George Warleggan's, she was with us both. "Demelza wrenched her arm out of his grasp, "well then that makes it all right let's wait and see whom the child looks like, shall we?"