Everything There is a Reason

Please Forgive Me

Ross did his best to ignore Elizabeth, going as far as sitting on the top of the coach outside instead inside with her. When they stopped for meals or for the night, she would do her utmost to bring attention to herself, so Ross had no choice but to act as guardian to her. When he went to get out at the edge of Nampara, Elizabeth also disembarked. Ross questioned her about her actions. She informed him that since she had no home in the area, and since she was his former cousin's wife, he needed to make a place for her at his home. Ross was growing angrier by the moment he knew she was hoping to completely break his and Demelza's marriage. Although in all honesty, he thought it may already be too late.

When they arrived at Nampara, Purdie blocked the door, "what do ee want ere?" she asked. Ross said, "Purdie this is my home." "Nay this be the maid's and her children's home and definitely not ers," she said pointing at Elizabeth. Elizabeth said, "you insolent woman, it is by your masters leave you still work here." Purdie laughed, "it be by my Mistress's leave, and if you both don't want to be assaulted by her workers you best be leavin." Ross was furious, "this is my home and I will be here with my wife and children."

Dwight came down the steps upon hearing the conversation and seeing Elizabeth he told Ross, "it may be your home but as long as your wife and children are here, she," pointing to Elizabeth, "will not be." Elizabeth said, "and pray do tell why do you a common doctor feel you have the right to say that." Ross turned to Elizabeth and said, "shut your mouth Elizabeth, he is right you are not welcome here, not by my wife, my children, and definitely not be me" Elizabeth said, "Ross all that time in London did it mean nothing to you?" Ross said, "it was a folly on my part. I was living in the past, once I realized what I was losing I came to my senses. The love of my life is in that room up there and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my mistake." Elizabeth looked Ross in the eye, "if you do this now there will be no future for us ever. If your wife leaves or dies do not come to me. I will not forgive or forget this time." Ross shouted, "do not say such things of my wife she will not leave me. You do not have to worry about me ever wanting you. I know you have seduced me to hurt my wife, my marriage. I don't care where you go or who you stay with, get off my property." Elizabeth picked her skirts up, and turned to walk away, then turned and said, "you, Ross, are a despicable man." Ross yelled, "no one despises me more than myself. Dwight, how is Demelza?"

Dwight did not want to answer him but this was his house and his wife, he ran his hands down his face. "She will not survive much longer if we do not get her to eat and drink." Ross questioned, "she is eating and drinking nothing?" Dwight said, "not enough to sustain her. She will take small bits for Jeremy and Clowance but that is it." "Where are the children now," Ross asked? They are with their mother; they sit on the bed and try to give her the will to live. The will that you have taken from her. Good God Ross, I hate you for hurting her and I know your children will never forgive you if anything happens to her." Ross nodded, "I am going up to see her."

When Ross reached their room, he opened the door and Jeremy looked up. "what do you want, you can go back to Lizard." Clowance scowled at him, "izard" she said, mimicking her brother. Ross could have laughed at his daughter's fierceness but then his gaze fall to his wife. She looked so pale, so frail, she was a slip of nothing. He wondered if she even woke to eat anymore. Dwight followed him in and Clowance smiled at him brilliantly just like her mothers. Ross's heart tore in half. He wanted one of those smiles from her for him but she looked at him, like her brother did, with hatred. Ross said, "Dwight can you take the children down to Purdie and Jenny, I would like to spend some time with my wife?" Dwight responded, "why do you want to spend time with her now, do you want to watch her die?" Ross turned around and grabbed Dwight by the neck, "don't say that, she is not going to die, I need her, the children need her?" Dwight shrugged, "doesn't change the fact that she is dying and it is because of you." Clowance started to cry, "Uncle White, no hurt." Demelza opened her eyes, "shush my lover," she cooed to Clowance, Momma is here." Jeremy said, "Sissy crying because Pappa is hurting Uncle Dwight." Demelza turned her eyes to Ross. She didn't have the strength to hate anymore. She said, "Dwight can you take the children." Dwight came over to the bed picking up Clowance, then taking Jeremy's hand, saying "let's go find some biscuits for your two." Jeremy looked at his mother, "you promise not to leave us," he asked? Demelza said, "I am right here always," she placed her hand on his heart. Jeremy kept his eyes on his mother the whole way out the door. Ross's heart broke for the little boy. He was only a few years older when his own mother died, but she had died of a disease, if those children lost Demelza it was because of him. Ross picked up the rocking chair and placed it beside the bed. He said, "Demelza, I." Demelza cut him off. "I do not want my children raised by Elizabeth. Let Dwight raise them. I have come to see, that the society people, like you, Elizabeth, and Caroline have no morals. She said, I knew Elizabeth had none but you, I was always so proud to be your wife because you seemed to be of such a strong moral character. To find out how wrong I was." She was quiet for a few seconds staring. Ross was going to say something more but she again stopped him. You can have her now, there will be nothing stopping you once I am gone, go forget our children, forget me and our life. You can have your love back."