I need you here, why are you not here? If you're not here, where are you?

Chapter Five

{Five}

"Remember what you said the night we were trapped in the university library?" A soundless laugh escapes from my mouth. Memories floating back, smiling to myself I let them float.

Him sitting on top of a higher shelf in of my hoodies, still so small but too high to reach, giggling like an idiot, books lingered around him, the dim lights making his hair almost look golden. A moment I made a mentally photo of, so beautiful.
Choking on your laughs you tried to speak, which ended with you laughing even harder.
And no drinking cola on a high shelf among books is not a smart idea. You tried, but failed miserably, maybe it was the alcohol floating through our veins, maybe it was us. But we laughed so hard, laughing at our mistakes,

I miss that time. We were just teenagers, ready to face the world. God we were wrong. We were never able to face the world not even now, look at us. We are still teenagers, not heroes.

"While we sat on the floor, you sat on my lap leaning back in my hug, I had my arms tight around you, scared to let you go." I whisper to the night sky.

"I failed." I mutter.

"You pointed to the roof, our imaginary sky, saying: 'Angel, for the rest of your life I want to see you smile like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, joke around like you're the funniest person alive, laugh till you can't breathe, walk around with proud because so your so damm beautiful. Do not let anyone, anyone tell you otherwise. Okay?' You turned around, facing me. Lips hovering over mine waiting for my answer. When I said 'I'll try' you kissed me. My whole body tingled, lips still burning if I think about it, I love that feeling."

"Just one more time, please, just one more time I want to feel his touch." My eyes lose the battle of keeping the tears at bay, I let them.