Chapter 3

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"Tyler!?" Ricky asks loudly.

"Um, no" I say and look up at him.

"Troye?" he asks and I nod.

"I don't know what to do Ricky" I vent.

"Does he know?".

"He knows I'm gay. I told him when he got here; Tyler convinced me to tell him".

"Okay, then what's wrong? Why aren't you happy that you are sharing a room?" he asks confused.

"Because I have to share a bed with him" I say and Ricky's eyes widen.

"Really? He chose to sleep with you, even after you told him?".

"Yeah, thanks to Tyler" I say and roll my eyes.

"Does Tyler know about this too?".

"Actually no. I couldn't tell him because he is too close to Troye and he might spill it on accident".

"Does anybody else know?" Ricky asks.

"No, you're the first" I say and he smiles.

"Aww, well thanks".

I laugh quietly and say, "yeah, now what should I do?".

"Why don't you just feel blessed that you got what you wanted this week. You got really lucky and I think if you told him it would ruin it" Ricky says honestly.

"Really? So I shouldn't tell him or Tyler? I should just feel guilty and scared all week?".

"Why do you feel guilty?".

"Because I'm keeping something from them, and I am SHARING A BED WITH HIM, it's not fair" I say.

"Then tell them, or at least Tyler, he could probably help you better than I can".

"Okay, but what do I do if he secretly likes him? What if Troyler is a thing?" I ask Ricky all the thoughts and theories I have had bottled up in my head for the past few months.

"Then-I don't know, but at least you will know...but considering he didn't want Troye to share a bed with him he probably doesn't" Ricky says. I sit in silence and process everything that has just happened.

"Okay" I say finally, "I will talk to Tyler, and try not to chicken out".

"Text me if you need anything. I'll be in Kian's room" he says and just as I stand up to leave I get a text from Tyler saying that they are back with my food.

It felt so amazing to talk to someone about all my thoughts and problems.

The walk back to my room is scary; I don't know what I'm going to say to Tyler and I don't know how to get Troye out of the room to do so.

I get back to my room and realize I don't have my room key so I knock and Troye opens the door.

"Hey" he says, "your food is on the table". I walk in the room and instantly smell it.

"Thanks" I say and open the bag. As I eat, they turn on the TV. We all gather on Tyler's bed since it is closest to the TV. I am sitting in the middle and they are laying down on either side of me.

When I am done eating the delicious food I go to give Tyler the money and he tells me Troye paid for it. I look at Troye and say thank you.

"No problem" he says and smiles. I give him the money and lay down between them again.

We spend a few hours just chilling and talking, when Troye asks the question: "What is something you haven't told anyone?".

Tyler answers first and says that he peed in the pool earlier. Then Troye looks at me.

"I don't know" I say but it's not convincing enough.

"There has to be something" Tyler says, then gets a devious look on his face, "perhaps who you like?".

I just about died right there. I should have talked to him when I got back to the room. If I had I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

"You like someone and you didn't share?" Troye asks, his face lighting up with the same excitement Ricky had earlier.

"Yeah, he told me there was someone in January. I told him I would do everything I could to figure it out" Tyler says smiling widely.

"Well who is it?" Troye asks, looking at me.

I stay silent, feeling the butterflies in my stomach and the blush of embarrassment on my face and neck.

"It's nobody" I say.

"Oh come on. You can trust us, you trusted us when you told us you were gay" Troye says trying to get it out of me.

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE!" I scream and run out of the room.

I forget my phone and room key but I run up to Kian's room and before I knock I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to calm down.

After I knock on the door Shelby answers and I ask her to get Ricky. He comes to the door a minute later.

"Con? What happened?" he asks seeing the look on my face. I just shake my head, as if to say 'not here'.

"Come on, let's go somewhere so we can talk" Ricky says and I follow him to the hall maintenance room, even though it's off limits.

"What happened?" he asks again once we are inside.

"I kind of blew up at Troye" I say and feel a lump in my throat. "He asked us a secret we never told anyone and Tyler brought up who I liked because he knew there was someone" I pause to breathe.

"They kept pressuring me and then Troye said how I trusted them when I told them I was gay. I yelled at him saying that I told them because they knew how it felt and then I ran out of the room" I explain.

Ricky doesn't say anything. He just lets me cry and puts his hand on my back, moving it up and down slowly.

"Connor, I promise everything will be okay" he says once I've stopped crying. "Just go back and tell them you are sorry but you don't want to talk about it. Technically it's not their business anyway". I nod and wipe the tears from my face.

"Okay, I will try to talk to them...do you think Troye hates me?" I ask.

"He is probably really sorry for pressuring you. Just please go talk to him, I can see that you actually do like him. If you didn't, you wouldn't be going through all this trouble" Ricky says and smiles.

We stand up and he gives me a hug before we leave.

"You can do this. Just talk to him like you talk to me, or any of the other boys".

"Okay" I say and go down the hall. I knock quietly on the door and hear Tyler say "it's Connor". He opens the door and I break down saying "I'm sorry".

I fall to my knees and I don't care if I look like an idiot. Tyler crouches down and lifts my arm up, "oh no you don't, get in here".

He stands me up and half drags, half walks me into the room. I am still on the ground and refuse to get up. Partially from not trusting my legs, but partially from not wanting to see Troye.

"Connor, please stop crying, we're not mad at you" Tyler says and I still can't even force myself to look up and see if Troye is watching me breakdown.

"Connor?" Troye asks quietly beside me. I can tell he is close because I feel his breath on my face.

"Can you please stand up for me?" he asks gently and I shake my head, still not looking up.

'This isn't what Ricky told me to do. I need to talk to them' I keep reminding myself. I finally look up slowly and see two big blue eyes looking at me.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly and Troye hugs me tightly.

"I'm sorry too" he says in my ear and I involuntarily shudder.

"Will you please get up now?" he asks and I nod this time. He stands up and gently grabs my arm. He helps me stand up and walks arm-in-arm with me to the bed.

When I make it to the bed I know I have to talk to them about what just happened.

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