Queen Group Chat

Wingmen

Group Chat - Freddie, Roger, Brian, and John
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F: Okay so... WHY can't I get a boyfriend. Like seriously WHY, what. Is. The. Fucking. Reason?!!
J: Well I could name a few if you want?
F: you did not just say that-
J: What?? I thought it would be helpful
R: Yeah and after John's done being helpful can I go next?
B: Ooo me three!
F:... Fine.
J: Oof I should've made a PowerPoint! Gosh darn it :(
F: BITCH WITH HOW MANY SLIDES THEN??!
J: God I can't count that big of a number Freds!
R: LMAOOOOO
B: I can confirm that he is, quite literally, laughing his ass off right now
B: LOL HE FELL OFF HIS FLOOR
F: OK YOU KNOW WHAT
F: CHANGED MY MIND
J: Ok sorry sorry I'll rip it off like a band aid!
J: 1. You literally never listen to other people when they talk
F: Stop acting as if I changed my mind again-
J: ...See. Never listens.
J: N e ways.
J: 2. You always make the other person do what you want to do, even with your friends
R: LITERALLY! Like the time I wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese because I never went when I was little and I wanted to remake my childhood :( but noOOooOo we went to a sushi bar
F: ROGER WE'RE LITERALLY A GROUP OF GROWN MEN. CHUCK E CHEESE WOULD CALL THE COPS ON US BEFORE THEY LET US IN
B: Yeah, especially when we're together, we somehow look very pedophilic
J: I think it's 80% Freddie's moustache and 20% our hair
F: all I heard was nonsense 💅🏻
F: Ok how about instead of telling me everything that's wrong with me you guys give me some HELPFUL BLOODY ADVICE
R: idk Freds... let me think...
R: OH! Just be better :))
J: Yasss Rog agreed king
B: Rog slayed
F:...
F: THANK YOU ROGER THAT WAS SO NOT USELESS OF YOU
B: Okay how abouttt not jumping right into the sex
F: Now the slut shaming. Great. Sorry that everyone wants to hit it with me ugh
R: Fred, if it helps...
F: No
R: I would hit it if I was a girl!
F:... Roger you would hit it regardless of your gender
J: Fr! Like the way he hits it with Bri <3
F: YASSSSSSSSSSSS
B: Ayo??
R: HOW DOES THIS ALWAYS TURN INTO ME N BRI??
F: More like you WITH Bri 😏
B: Ew what I'm more concerned about is your use of emojis, get that whack shit out of there
F: I could sense your disgust but there's an emoji for that if u wanna clearly express it!!
B: Fuck off
R: Mf writes like a whole ass grandpa LOL
R: "SiNcErLy, bRi" like shut yo ass up lmaoo
J: LMAOOOO
F: I can ALSO confirm Deaky's bitch ass I laughing his ass off in the shower
R: Are you in there with him
F: EW. ROGER.
B: Yeah no I was gonna ask a much more sensible question
B: Deaky why are you texting while in the shower?
R: OH SHIT BRI U RIGHT- isn't water and technology like... not it
F: Oh no the shower isn't on
J: Yep no water!
B: Sooo.... You're just say chilling in there?
J: It calms me down :)
J: Is my happy place :)
R: Aww deaky ur so cute
R: Like it's concerning and weird as fuck BUT those smileys are getting me
F: OKAY! So conclusion: none of y'all are ANY help and terrible wingmen who get soooo side tracked, I don't even know how you get anything done in your life.
B: :(
R: :(
D: :)
R: AWWW DEAKY U SO CUTE!!

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No cuz I'm literally just projecting my habit of side tracking when writing into the narrative 😭 N E WAYSSSS

Turning 17 this weekend...Fun!!
I'm so glad I could get a chapter out for you before my busy weekend! I hope you liked it.

As always, you are more than welcomed to give suggestions cuz my lil noggin is getting dry-

See ya in the next one!

- J