Y/N And Agent Romanoff

Chapter 13

Me: Natalia Alianovna Romanova. Agent of SHIELD with a clearance level 6.
N: How..... How did you know my real name dorogaya?
Me: Bubs. When I told you I know a lot about you, I wasn't lying. The only thing I didn't know about you was how you grew up in the Red Room and about your family life. I.... I am also an agent of SHIELD....
N: How? I checked your name when you first came to the compound. You don't have a file at SHIELD.
Me: I know I don't. It's a secret. I have a clearance level 11 with Alpha Level clearance. 
N: Woww.... Ok.... I didn't expect that....
Me: I know.... No one except dad knows....
N: Wait. Isn't Fury's clearance level 10?
Me: It is. I am the only one with a level 11 clearance. The only difference between me and dad is that I have every information on every agent and mission stored in El with the highest security to ever exist on this planet. I have about 100 million firewalls set in place and the most people have gotten passed is only the first one. It is very secure. I don't publicize my involvement in SHIELD for security reasons. That's why I don't do interviews or junkets or anything. I love acting, so I do it. But other than that, I work in SHIELD with my company. 
N: I understand why you didn't share this info with me love from the beginning. I'm not mad or anything. I'm just surprised. I didn't even know there is someone above Nick.
Me: Technically, I am above dad, but I do not get involved in that sort of things. He is the one making the decisions. I'm behind the scenes and only go on missions when absolutely necessary.
N: You go on missions?!
Me: I do..... Have you heard of Agent 405?
N: You mean 'THE GHOST'?!
Me: Yup. That's me. 
N: Wait!! The Ghost has powers!!
Me: Umm.... I kinda do....

I used my power and levitated the file on her lap and her eyes went wide.
N: Since when?! 
Me: At Hydra. They gave me the powers of Wanda and Pietro combined. Even they don't know....
N: Wow.... Ok.... So all this time, you've been lying to me?!
Me: Tasha.... I didn't want to lie to you! I just couldn't say anything!! Even now, I'm risking everything by telling you!!
N: So, when we trained together and I beat you, you were only pretending?
Me:........
N: You were, weren't you?! Was our entire relationship a lie?!! 
Me: NO!! How can you say that?! I told you from the beginning that you know the real me!! I never pretended to be someone else with you!! I only....
N: Pretended everything else?! I have to go Y/N.... I have to think about this.... I can't be here right now!!  
Me: Tasha....
N: No!! I'm in love with someone who has been lying to me this entire time!! I let myself feel and love and it got thrown in my face!! You lied about your job!! About your fighting abilities!! About having powers!! Going on missions!!
Me: I just couldn't tell you....
N: I can't believe I fell in love with a person who lied about everything.... I've fallen in love with a person that doesn't exist. You're completely another person!!
Me: I didn't lie about stuff like that!! I told you!!
N: I can't Y/N!! We're over.... I won't tell anyone anything but I cannot continue to be in a relationship with you when all you've done so far is lie to me!! I'm leaving!!

Nat got up and stormed out of the room, going downstairs and out the door.
Me: At least take a car or something.... There aren't any vehicles for miles....
N: I'm taking your bike. Don't talk to me again Y/N.... I don't even want to see you anymore. I'll leave the motorcycle in Tony's garage. 

Nat got on the bike and started it. 
Just before she left, I said:
Me: I love you too.... I hope you can understand one day....

Nat didn't say anything. She just left.

I fell to the floor and stared crying.

It has been a week since that incident.
I have not left my bed. I just keep crying and crying, thinking about how I ruined the one relationship that mattered more to me than anything else in this world.

Dad and Tony have been coming here to check on me but El hasn't let them enter the premises.

I don't keep food at my place, so I ran out after 3 days.
It's the 4th day I've been without any food or water and I'm not feeling good.