Never The Love Of Hers

Chapter 6: Pap's Birthday Surprise

"Are you okay?"

Three words. Three fucking words na kapag narinig mo, it fucking breaks you. Those words make their way to the every fiber of my being, and as if my senses have a mind on its own, tears were gushing down from my eyes. I couldn't hold it. I couldn't bear it. I faked my answer but my eyes cannot lie. That is where she started to approach me, looked straight into my eyes before hugging me.

Damn! Am I seriously having my very first breakdown to someone who I just met? This girl... I barely know her. But she held me so tight in her arms that I never knew I needed. She embraced me like I was a poor little child and it comforts me.

"I'm sorry. I-i d-don't understand—"

"Ssshh! Sige lang. Iyak ka lang. Everything will be fine. It will be okay."

I have never been asked how am I doing all these time. Not once, not even my sister, no one. Siya lang. She's the only person who sees through me. The girl named Aeiou Xtyn.

"So, if you are not ready to talk or speak up, it's okay. Just... just know that I am here, whenever." patuloy siya sa pagsasalita ng kung ano-ano sa akin habang bumibili siya ng stick-o. She dragged me out of the classroom just to accompany her stick-o escapade. "Do you want anything, Ollie?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you!"

"I can be your confidant." she whispered. "You can trust me. I won't use it against you."

"I will, Xtyn. I will."

"Happy Birthday!"

I was indeed surprised. Mahilig tumambay at mag-inuman ang mga kaklase ko. Madalas nila kong imbitahin pero hindi ako sumasama. Ngayon lang. Because Xtyn was the one who invited me.

Ang sabi niya may kaunting salo-salo daw na gaganapin. May inuman din. But the catch is, she will be happier if I don't drink with the guys. Gusto niya lang daw akong mag-chill after what happened a few weeks ago.

When I entered Xtyn's humbled home, I feel content. The ambiance was relaxing. The home is welcoming. Sigurado ka na agad na tao ang mga nakatira. What I felt inside their home was something that I never felt whenever I walk in inside our house. It's different, way different. And when she saw me, she leave everything and everyone, para salubungin ako at ipakilala sa magulang niya. Then... everybody greeted me.

No one remembered, not even Papa, that today is very important to me. Today is my birthday. Masakit para sa akin na wala kahit isa sa mga tinuturing kong kaibigan at pamilya ang nakaalala sa araw ko. Siya lang. Siya lang ang nakaalala sa pinakamahalagang araw ng buhay. Siya na hindi ko kaibigan. Siya na laging nakakakita sa akin.

"Nagustuhan mo ba 'yong surprise namin sa 'yo, Ollie?"

"Yes. At huwag mo na sila isama sa credits. It's all you. Ikaw ang may pakana nito, alam ko." sabi ko kay Tyn noong tinanong niya kung anong nararamdaman ko at kung nagustuhan ko ba ang inihanda niya.

Really? Hindi ka ba aware na this is too much for me? No one ever made me feel worthy like this, except you. Ikaw lang.

"To be honest, Tyn, hindi ko alam kung paano akong makakabawi sa iyo. I don't think I can do this, everything, it's priceless."

"Nah. Pay it forward."

"At anong ibig sabihin n'yan?" nakangiti kong tanong sa kanya.

"Hindi mo kailangan ibalik sa akin lahat ng binibigay o ginagawa ko sa iyo, Mr. Quintaña." dinuduro niya pa ang dibdib ko. "You can be like this, too."

"But I'm broken," hindi ko alam kung saan ko nahagilap ang mga salitang binigkas ko, ang tanging nasisiguro ko lang ay bumigat ang pakiramdam ko. Masakit. Nasaktan ako. Ito yata ang unang beses na naamin ko sa sarili ko na may mali sa akin. May mali sa nararamdaman ko. At alam kong nakita na naman niya iyon. "I cannot be like you."

"You don't have to be me, Oliver." hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko at nilaro-laro iyon. "You just have to admit it yourself. You just have to acknowledge that you are broken, and that's what you already did, that you are not perfect but you are willing to make yourself the better version you can be to be able to help other people, too."

"Thank you..." I said, "thank you for always making me feel good about myself. You are making me feel better."

"Speaking of being better, I still have something for you."

"Another surprise?" tanong ko sa kanya. Siguro ang awkward ng ngiti ko kasi bigla siyang natawa. "Yes, may regalo pa ako sa iyo."

Sabay kaming napalingon sa tumawag sa kanya. Kumaway pa siya dito bago tumakbo palapit sa matandang lalaki na mukhang may-ari ng SM. Mukhang mayaman, nakakatakot lapitan.

Kaso siya pa kusang lalapit sa akin.

"Oliver, this is my ninong. Dr. Dela Cuesta." pakilala niya sa kasama. "Ninong Vic, si Oliver po. Siya po 'yong na-kwento ko sa inyo."

"Good afternoon, doc."

"Vic na lang, hijo. Kaibigan ka naman ng inaanak ko." nakipagkamay siya sa akin. Grabe! Ang lakad ng dating. Ganito ba talaga kapag nakakaharap ka ng mukhang mayamang doktor? "Tell me, are you my goddaughter's boyfriend?"

"Ninong, talaga. Hindi nga po. Kaibigan ko lang po si Ollie. Maiwan ko po muna kayo. Mag-aasikaso lang ako ng ibang bisita." bago pa ko makatanggi ay nakatalikod na si Tyn at mabilis na nakalayo sa amin. Hindi man lang ako tinapunan ng tingin at binigyan ng pagkakataon para tumanggi. Paano ko pakikitunguhan ang ninong niya. Naiilang na umupo na lang ako sa sofa sa likuran ko.

"Oliver, right?" tumango ako sa tanong ng ninong ni Tyn, ngunit naiilang pa rin akong tumingin sa kanya ng deretso. Nakakakaba! Intimidating siya. "Let me properly introduce myself then. I am Vicente Dela Cuesta, doctor of Psychology."

Kung kanina ay hindi ako makatingin ng deretso sa kanya, ngayon ay walang pag-aalinlangan kong naitutok ang tingin ko sa kanya. Paanong–

"Xtyn is always like that. Jolly and observant. May tawag nga ang mga pinsan niya sa kanya. Tyn Pop. Popsicle? No. Papel! Dahil sobra siyang mapapel." napatawa ako sa kwento ni doc.

"Mahilig siyang mangialam at pumapel sa mga bagay sa paligid niya. Kahit hindi mo hingiin ang tulong niya, kusa siyang lalapit sa iyo. At first, you'll think that it was just nothing and she is just making things up. But I swear, you will be surprised because she will prove you wrong. Parang manghuhula ba. Difference is, she's somewhat accurate. That's what make her more scary."

"Totoo po."

"Hi, guys! I hope there's more room for company?" gusto kong magmura ng makita na kasama ni Tyn ang mga magulang ko. No shit! Is she even real? "Sorry, Ollie. I should have informed you about this, but..."

"It's okay."

"Yeah," sorry, she mouthed. "Ninong, they are Oliver's parents. Mr. and Mrs. Vergel Quintaña. As much as I want to keep this thing private, I think before we proceed with what we are going to do, we should tell his parents first."

"Agreed. At hija, you and Oliver are still minors. Things like this must and should have been discussed by adults."

"Sumobra na naman po ba ako?" nahihiya niyang sabi.

"No—" Oh, Xtyn.

"Hindi, hija." nagkasabay naming sabi ni Mama. "Sa totoo lang, nagpapasalamat kami sa iyo dahil ikaw ang gumagawa nito para sa anak namin. Pasensya na at ikaw pa ang nakapansin imbes na kaming mga magulang niya."

"Wala pong problema, misis. Bukal po sa loob namin ang pagtulong na ito. Isa pa, hindi ko hahayaan na mag-isip at malungkot ang inaanak ko. Importante si Oliver sa kanya kaya magtutulungan tayo."