The Boy Next Door

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Olly," I yelled as he stormed upstairs. I followed as fast as my boots would take me, screeching his name through my cries. With a thud, his bedroom door slammed in my face.

"Please, Olly, it's not how it sounds. Please let me explain." I slammed my hand on the door, trying the handle, but it didn't move.

"There is nothing to explain. You kissed another boy. You kissed my fucking cousin," he shouted back.

"It's not like that. It was a game at Alex's house. I didn't know it was him, and I didn't know he was your cousin." I wiped the tears falling from my cheek. "Please let me in."

The handle loosened, and the door slowly opened. Olly's lip was swelling, cut and blue, and his knuckles looked painful. I wanted to care for him, aid him, but I'd hurt him even more; I knew I had. If I'd learnt anything, heartache is more painful than anything physical, and I couldn't just fix it with a plaster either.

He looked at me with sorrowful eyes, burning me inquisitively, "Was that the only kiss?"

I panicked, swallowing to ease my dry throat. My hands ran through my hair, and tears soaked my face. I could taste them. Something was wrong with my tongue; my words were missing. I stuttered and stumbled with nothing to say as Olly didn't need an answer; he already knew it.

"You've changed. I don't know who you are anymore," Olly muttered.

"No, I haven't," I sobbed. "I love you. I'm still the same Ashley you met; if anything, I'm a better person, and you did that. I'm the Ashley you love."

"I want to believe you, but I don't." Olly puffed out his chest, sucking it back in as he choked on his words. "I knew love hurt, but you've ripped my heart out. I can't do this. Not after everything I have just heard."

I reached out to him, but he stepped back. My lip quivered, and my head shook, forcing my words out as my emotions bound me, "What are you saying?"

Olly put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a cord bracelet. "I planned to give this to you tomorrow before I left as a promise we would never part, but now, you can have it as a memento."

I cried, "No, Olly."

I ugly cried.

He took my hand and opened my palm, placing the red and black bracelet into it. I didn't look at it; I squeezed it tightly, "I have too much to figure out, and I don't want to think about you being here with Kyle," Olly said.

"I'm not going to be here with Kyle. It's you I want. I need you, Olly. Please, you can't leave me now. I won't let you."

"If you truly love me, you will because this is what I want."

"Don't say that. I know that's not true," I wept. "What about everything we have been through?"

"Ashley, none of that matters. There is nothing you can do or say to change the truth."

"I love you," I begged, "That's the truth."

I was out of breath and words. I didn't want to give in, but I could feel it in my gut, Olly was inches away, yet he was disappearing, closing the door on me.

"I love you, Ashley, but I think I know where your heart lies."

I broke down and fell to my knees. I tried to figure out what to say, how to fix and undo what I had done, and how to banish my unwanted feelings for Kyle.

I hated him.

I wished I had never met him.

I loved Olly, and he was the one who had my heart.

"Promise me something, Ashley," Olly then mumbled.

I raised my head to him as he crouched down to me. He kissed my forehead, and I knew it was goodbye. It was just like the movies, heartbreaking and sudden. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

Olly stood back up, and the following cries streaming my face weren't because I was sad and heartbroken; they were from anger and devastation. Olly's last thoughts were not how he loved me but how I was still that girl he needed to protect. That sad, lonely girl from the park. And boy, he was wrong, and his words made it so. If I could put up with his secrets and Kyle, I knew I could prove I was stronger than he thought.

I stood up, straightened out my dress, smoothed my hair and said, "I promise." He shut the door on me, saying nothing more.

The white paintwork stared me in the face. My insides screamed, cried and abused me as I clung to the doorframe until I regained control.

I turned and leaned against the door, sensing he was doing the same on the other side. I'd broken his heart, and he had mine, shattered into a million fragments, and each piece missed him already.

I was guilty of kissing Kyle, but Olly was far from innocent. From the beginning, he had lied. He was leaving, yet let me fall for him anyway. I'd given myself to him in every way I could.

He had changed my life as well as saved it.

Yet still, Kyle wouldn't have come into my life without Olly, and it was his fault for me feeling so confused. Things wouldn't have been so complicated without him and his stupid plan.

Instead of talking, he shut me out and banished me from his life, and all so quickly, so easily. I told myself that when the tears weren't so raw and the pain wasn't so intense, the only way through the heartbreak was by holding onto the frustration I had surging me at that moment. I would prove him wrong and not be the sad little girl he thought I was, that everyone thought I was. Not anymore.

I would prove him wrong and stay away from Kyle.

Wiping my eyes, I slowly walked down the stairs. I hesitated as I walked to the front door, observing everything around me, the memories, the smell, the layout, and the photos. I preserved them in my mind for safekeeping, doubting I'd be coming back in. "Bye, Olly," I whispered and shut the door behind me.

Every step away I took was painful. I couldn't breathe, and I could barely see. The further I went, the more my heart bled, pounding hard in my chest. I couldn't feel Olly with me anymore, and I had lost all sense of purpose.

There were only tears.