The Boy Next Door

Chapter Thirty-Four

Olly was gone. I watched him drive past, and he didn't look up at my window. I needed him to look me in the eye and give me hope, but it didn't come. He hated me, and I had to live with that. The only problem was, I didn't know how to.

I hadn't stepped foot out of my bedroom for the past week. My conversations with mum, dad and Zoe had been minimal, and my stomach was rumbling hard, but even the plates of food on my desk seemed too good for me.

The first boy I had ever loved had a broken heart because of me. I didn't deserve anything but to feel the same.

I kept thinking of ways I could have changed the end to our story, the conversations we should have had, and the confessions he deserved once I met Kyle.

How could I have been so stupid to risk the one good thing in my life?

The day I saw him standing on my driveway, my world stopped. The first kiss he planted on my cheek made everything seem possible, and for a while, I conquered everything. I faced my fears and my enemies whilst learning to love myself. I saw what was important beyond popularity and being skinny. None of that mattered anymore, and with Olly by my side, all I wanted was to be ordinary. I wasn't invisible to him. He saw right through me when I was hiding from everyone else, and once I let my guard down, I wasn't afraid anymore. I had never felt the way I did around Olly. He was a stranger who stole my heart, the prince who rescued me.

I was going to miss how he sent sparks of static dancing over my skin every time he touched me. Our time together was magical and enchanting. I could only explain the shivers of pure ecstasy we experienced as nothing comparable in this world.

What I read in all those stories was true. True love was the most beautiful thing you could experience, even if it slapped you in the face. But watching it crumble and feeling your heart crack was the hardest, most painful thing I'd ever endure. Olly and I were over, but I didn't see it as the end. Time and distance were not on our side, but anything could happen in two years; look what happened in a few months.

The for-sale sign outside his house and his dad moving out may have been the end for his parents, but what I had with Olly was different. I knew it was. I'd see him again. He'd be different, and so would I. I couldn't say how I'd feel when I did, be it tomorrow, next week, next month or years to come. Either way, different days were ahead of us. Time is what we need. Time is what I needed to figure life out.

*

"Ashley," Mum gently said with a knock at my door.

I let the tennis ball fall back into my hand and sat up. "What is it?" I said, and she walked in.

"I, Ashley," she stuttered, and it clenched my chest. Why had things got so difficult between us? There was a wall, a big eight-foot brick wall I wanted to bash down standing in the way. If only I had the strength.

"I'm sorry," she muttered as her lip quivered. "I'm so sorry about everything. I shouldn't have kept Olly's secret from you, I was wrong, and I know it now. You are in here like this because of me."

I bowed my head, gripping the ball tightly, "No, I'm not; this isn't all your fault. I did most of it. I'm sure if I knew, I still would have fallen for Olly anyway. I'm young and naïve, remember." I cried.

Jeez, I was so fed up with crying. My eyes were burning, swollen and puffy, and pouring like taps the instant I allowed myself to talk or feel anything. I was not strong; I was grieving and had more to come before I felt more optimistic.

Mum sat beside me and grabbed my hand, "You're not. You are your mother's daughter, unconditionally loving and passionate. You see the world as a fairy tale as you have always done, just like Zoe does. When I was a teenager, I also fell in love, and look where he is now, outside in the garden." She smiled. "It doesn't make you naïve. You have a lot to learn; unfortunately, heartbreak is one of the most agonising things to go through."

"How would you know?" I said, brushing my tears with the back of my hand.

"Trust me, even before your dad, I had my heart broken. I also dressed a little like you too."

"No, you didn't," I snorted.

"Oh, I did. Your grandma hit the roof the day I went home with a piercing and an older boyfriend."

"I don't believe you."

"I wish she were here to tell you, but it's true. We are more alike than you think. The mum you hate, who I am now is who I became once I learnt all the lessons and became a parent. I'm sorry I'm not the type of mum you want, but I'm still learning, failing, and trying." She brushed her hand down my hair and began to sob.

"You're not failing," I stuttered, pulling her tightly into my arms. "I haven't been the easiest, but I'm learning too. I need to find out who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. It's hard trying to be perfect."

"You're not perfect, Ashley; no one is. There is no such thing; the sooner you believe that, the better. You'll get there. I promise."

"Mum..." Zoe said, walking into my room. She looked at mum and me and backed out.

"Come here, squidge," I said, reaching my arm out.

Zoe ran over, climbing between mum and me, cuddling us both, "I'm going to miss Nate too," she said in her squeaky voice.

"Oh honey, I know," Mum said.

"I'll never have a boyfriend again."

"Oh god, not you as well," I cried and giggled simultaneously.

"What, he's a boy and my friend," she said, and I looked into her innocent, shimmering eyes.

"That's the best way."