Burning Star: A Twilight FanFic

Ch 11- Crushing Dreams

Seth, Mitch, Jacob, and Leah left to join the packs after we finished up. Both of the men were extremely reluctant, but eventually Berit and I managed to convince them to go.

Once again, I sat apart from everyone with Rosalie by my side. At first we sat in a comfortable silence, just watching the others.

"Brielle," she finally said softly. "Can I ask you something privately?" She seemed very tentative, far from the usual confidence she exuded. There was also a note of anguish in her voice. Both Berit and Edward shot discreet glances our way.

I nodded and created a barrier around us. "Of course. I just put up a barrier. They won't be able to see or hear us, not even thoughts."

"I never wanted this," she whispered. "I never wanted to be a vampire. Even now, I'd give it up, if I could. If I could grow old with Emmett, start a family, if there was a way, I'd do anything. So, I have to ask- could you? Can magic do that?"

There was no easy answer to her question. There wasn't a way to turn a vampire human again. No one would even bother trying. But I knew that I could do it- that I was was the only one who could. If I used the power that made me who I was, I turn every vampire in the world human.

Ark of Fate. That was what I named it. When I held the body of Mars in my arms, dead for at least a day, as Elsie rampaged in the background, and I hurled unknown magic into her, I created a way to defy fate. Mars came back. She was completely in tact, fully herself. In time, I discovered that this power could bring back anybody. It could build and rebuild bodies for souls to return to. Potentially hundreds at a time. It was a power that not even a god could rival.

But I hadn't only used it to save. Ark of Fate wasn't just creation. It was destruction. Fifteen witches wiped out of existence in a single instant. Not even a soul left behind to cross to the afterlife. And I knew that wasn't anywhere close to my limit.

Yes, yes I could turn her and Emmett human. But I wouldn't. Even if I wasn't forbidden to use it without Al's permission, I wouldn't. It was too risky. Who knows what would happen, what she'd end up wanting if I did it. I could clearly see that this was her greatest wish, but it was one she'd never get.

I sighed heavily. "It can't be done, Rosalie. I'm sorry."

Rosalie was silent next to me. For hours we sat that way. Everyone let us be. Even Emmett, who could hardly pull his worried eyes off of her stayed away. It was clear that they all knew what she'd wanted. What she wasn't getting. My heart ached for her.

It took me longer than it should've to notice Berit's struggles. Rosalie's despair was clearly having an affect on her. The fears that the incident had stirred up in the room were weighing on my friend, and I hadn't been paying attention enough to realize.

I texted Raven immediately. "Send your dad back now. He should hurry."

The response was instant. "He's on his way."

Seth and Jacob came back with Mitch. The rest of the night was quiet. It wasn't just Rosalie and Berit who were tense. I was too.

I had no choice but to come to grips with what this would mean for Seth. I was going to live for thousands of years. I had very few mortals in my life. I knew I'd watch my mother and grandfather die, that there was no way to avoid that pain. But I'd also been able to keep myself from becoming close with mortals from a young age. By age 9, I knew that I would be able to stop aging. Seth didn't have that advantage. Excluding Jacob, and soon Leah, he'd watch his family, his pack, his friends, everyone he knew die. The bonds formed by these shape shifters were so much stronger than human ones. He loves so wholeheartedly, so purely. How could I expect him to handle this? How could I explain this reality?

It wasn't until we were laying under the covers of my hotel bed, staring at the ceiling, that I could force myself to talk about it.

"Seth," I began. "If you plan on staying with me, there's something important you need to consider."

He propped himself up on one elbow and stared at me. "Of course I'll stay with you! What else could I do? You're- you're everything." He spoke the last part very softly, very sincerely. I turned my head to look at him. Those warm brown eyes were so earnest, so open.

"I'll be alive for thousands of years, Seth. I've known since I was a child that I'd live for countless lifetimes. I've prepared myself for that. For losing those that wouldn't be able to live forever. My mom and my grandfather, losing them will be devastating. But that's only two losses. You'll lose everyone. Your mom, your pack mates. Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. You'll watch them all die." I paused. "No, I can't even say that. Eventually, we won't be able to come back here. And it's possible that once we stop visiting, you'll never see them in person again. You won't be able to be there for them at the end. You won't be at the funerals. Maybe you'll be able to visit graves. Once your life is tied to mine, you'll spend eternity grieving their losses. Can you do that? Can you really accept that?" My voice was tight. I knew his answer, but I hated putting him through that. Hate knowing that the tragedy wouldn't have to happen if he hadn't imprinted on me.

He dropped onto his back again. Yet another long silence. Our erratic breathing gave silent proof to our choked back tears. I wanted to take his hand, so close to mine. I wanted to lie and say that it would be ok. But I knew that that kind of loss, and the years spent waiting for it, would be agony.

He let out a long wavering sigh and a choked sob came out at the end of it. My heart broke and my own tears began flowing. I turned reached my arms out to him.

We clutched each other tightly as we cried. His head was pressed against my heart, my face buried in his hair. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. We fell asleep in each other's arms that night. And when morning came, we were still holding on.