My Guardian Angel

32: It felt so real, the pain and fear.

I began screaming.

Yet again, I didn't know whether I really was screaming or if it was still stuck in my throat but seemed to me like I had let it out somehow. I couldn't know, either - I was muffling my own voice by shutting my eyes and clutching my ears tightly, unable to face whatever was about to happen. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, making me feel like it would burst out at any moment if I keep feeling even more scared. I could hear muffled footsteps approach nearer and the next thing I knew, whoever had come in here had caught me and pulled me into his arms.

The touch was gentle and slow, and that was enough for me to realise who that was. I quickly relaxed and the scream that seemed to be erupting out of my throat shushed down. Later, I realized that I had only been crying in fear and not screaming.

My heartbeat slowed down to a normal pace as rapidly as it had increased before. Dropping the tight clutch over my ears and opening my eyes slowly, I looked up to meet Jasper's gentle blue eyes. He was seated beside me on my bed, one arm around my shoulder comfortingly and the other over my trembling hands. I had pulled myself close to his chest then and was still there, curled up into a little ball. I suddenly felt as if I was protecting myself from any harm by being under the shelter of Jasper, just like I'd been all these days, unknowingly. Knowing very well that I wouldn't know how to start, Jasper squeezed my hand gently and said, "You're okay. Why did you cry?"

"I...," I paused to take a breath, wiping away the tears, "I had that nightmare again. That nightmare I saw before, on that day when we went to the beach... Remember?"

He nodded, gesturing for me to continue.

"I saw someone killing my dad again," I blurted, "And that same guy... I never told you this before, but that guy was trying to do something really bad, Jasper. I just remember that he knocked me out before I saw him leaning over me. It felt so real, the pain and fear. II'm sorry for disturbing you."

He shook his head and placed a hand on my head reassuringly, "First of all, you didn't disturb me - I came here to check on you and saw you crying. Secondly, it won't be real. Sometimes you see dreams that would be too terrifying that it haunts your mind and seems like it would happen. Like I told you, no one would hurt you here."

"But it doesn't have to be here. I did see my house in the dream, but it could be anywhere, like back at that hotel where one of the goons was trying to harass me had you not saved me in time."

"Well, that's exactly what the end of your dream means. You never really see what happens later, you only see him knocking you out, but that just means that nothing will happen to you. It isn't real."

I smiled at that before completely leaning my head onto his chest with a sleepy yawn, feeling the warmth and the fragrance of mint on his newly worn green sweater and ignoring the fact that this was a strange thing for me to do, that my awkwardness wasn't acting up anymore. Though it wasn't much noticeable, I could immediately sense him tense up a little and I straightened up quickly with a sheepish look, realizing that being so close to him may have made him feel uncomfortable. I suddenly wondered why; I mean, of course, people are usually like that, they keep boundaries, but not him. He never found it awkward when we were really close or even hugged, but he kept the distance so that I wouldn't get nervous. Jasper's the type to interact freely with anyone and ignore such silly awkwardness problems, and I'm the exact opposite, but this time, he was the one to tense up when I came too close.

But no, that wasn't the reason.

Glancing up, I saw that I'd kept my head over the injured area on his shoulder. Since he had completely bandaged it and wore a new sweater over it, I didn't notice where I was leaning on.