Never Have I Ever

Thirteenth Shot

Kari

It's finally D-1, tangina. I finished my morning run as usual and freshened up a bit. I got my journal–a plain thick black notebook that I literally take everywhere—as per my therapist's advice.

As I scribbled on the lines, I tried to take a look back on the events that happened so far in the past few days:

05/03/20XX

It's the day before Ashley's actual wedding and I don't know if I should be afraid of what's to come tomorrow or be excited that this is all about to end. Nonetheless, I can't calm down my nerves. Kinakabahan ako ng ewan, putik. Sana lang hindi ako tumae o sumuka sa mismong kasal.

But you know what, despite my initial worries of being here in the Hamptons for a wedding, I spent the rest of the week with Calix quite comfortably that time flew by like a blur. It was as if he naturally became a part of my daily routine and I didn't mind having him by my side. Even if Ash warned me to not get close to him, I still ended up talking to him whenever given the chance.

In my defence, I'm not doing it on purpose to spite anyone. It's just that Calix always seems to pop up out of nowhere–nakakataka nga minsan eh–and strikes a conversation with me.

I do try to cut it short whenever I can but he keeps finding ways to lengthen it. Moreover, the pretentious aura that I noticed when I first saw him has completely melted away. He was like the best guy friend that I never really had and we only knew each other for barely a week. It's odd, I know.

But of course, a part of me still thinks that he's swinging for the other team because he really doesn't give me goosebumps even if we are sitting too close to each other. I mean, I have a soft spot for people who are part of the community as an ally myself so I like spending time with them whenever I can. If he really is part of the club, I'd gladly hug him and protect him from the vicious world.

Now, I'm sort of assuming if Ash might think there was something going on between Calix and Elliot which explains why she hates the guy to the bone. Or am I just reading into things a little too much?

As for my other friends, I do hang out with Majoy and Reese from time to time. Majoy usually comes over to my room after her kids are asleep for some catching up. She of all people loves to hear if there was something going on with Calix and I. Parang siya pa ang kinilig kahit wala namang nangyayari. But of course, I made myself clear to Majoy that it's nothing but pure friendship between Calix and me, particularly on my end.

Meanwhile, Ri and their wife hang out with me whenever they can, like going for a swim and playing online games. Believe it or not, they do this even if Calix was with us. He instantly blended in as if it was his rightful place, to begin with. Definitely shocking but somehow, the people around me seemed perfectly fine with it.

But for Ash, we haven't really talked that much since that incident in the dining hall. I know she's busy though since a bride needs to work side by side with her events planner so I'm not putting it against her. And honestly, I'm thankful that even if I am the maid of honour—no matter how much I dislike it–she wasn't expecting anything else from me. It's as if she knows that I really did not want to be too involved in the wedding preparations.

Even if I used to be an events planner myself, I really haven't done anything related to it since last year so I can honestly say it's not my forte anymore. And let's face it, weddings and me? Right now, they are the worst combination.

Anyhow, I better grab some breakfast since it was already almost 8. I can only hope I survive today's bachelorette festivities without being too emotional. Crossing my fingers that I make it out of this wedding alive.