Never Have I Ever

Twenty-Ninth Shot

Kari

"Hey, Kari, you okay?" Mukha ba kong okay? Instead of answering Calix as we ran into each other in the hallway, I went inside the elevator as it opened right on cue without saying anything else.

"Karina. We're here," I was so out of it the entire time that I didn't even realise I nodded to his sudden invitation of giving me a ride to school. Even if it was only a few minutes of walking distance from the apartment building, I didn't have the energy to protest his offer.

"Dove, talk to me," He said in a soothing voice and placed his large hand on top of mine as I kept shaking my legs and fidgeting with my fingernails while sitting inside another luxurious car of his.

When I turned to face him, he gave me a small smile, "Nervous for your first day?" Nervous wouldn't even be enough to describe it. Sa sobrang kaba ko, para na kong natatae at nasusuka ng sabay. It's been a while since I went back to school and I don't know what to expect. Daig ko pa ang bata na bagong pasok sa paaralan.

He must have seen the alarming look on my face because he gave me a warm gaze. "Hey, Karina, it's going to be fine," He said as he cupped my cheek with that stare which could have melted the battle of nerves in my body but it didn't. Not 100% but around 45%, it somehow made me feel slightly better. Buti na lang umaligid 'to sa akin ngayong umaga.

"You're going to do great there, okay?" He added another motivational quote and all I could do was slowly nod as if I understood it. Why can't I let a single word escape my mouth? To think, I was looking forward to September, the start of the fall semester but now that it's happening, I suddenly got the urge to back out. Umuwi na lang kaya ako ng Pinas?

"I...I'm scared," I was surprised that I said those words out loud because I'm not the most vocal person, especially after my break-up. However, things are getting more comfortable with Calix now than ever before. He never makes me feel that any of my thoughts or feelings are invalid. Na para bang wala lang sa kanya kung ano man ang sabihin mo.

Although sometimes I want to take a step back from this odd situation that I have with him, I can't seem to run away like I always do. It's as if I'm ready to make the jump whenever it happens. Pero di pa sa ngayon. Whatever is going to happen between us, it's going to need more time and if he's not ready to wait, it's his loss and not mine.

A part of me hoped that he'd drop another corny line where I'd roll my eyes to relieve the tension but instead, he scooped me up from my seat and I almost hit the roof of the car which made me laugh because of it. Tangina, para kaming mga timang.

"Did you get hurt?" He looked at me wide-eyed because I was covering the top of my head with both of my hands as if shielding myself, "No, I didn't," I replied and smiled a little because it was an unexpected way to break the ice. Just like that, I almost forgot that I was anxious in the first place.

"You sure?" He tried to put his hand over mine while the other one was cupping my cheek. Amidst the fact that our position is quite sexual to any person's eyes since I was on top of him as we faced each other, it felt like anything but sensual. It was like a cosy spot that has no awkward bits since it's with this man.

I nodded in response and gave him a sincere smile, "Yeah, I'm fine," and I meant that on so many levels.

"Feeling better?" He asked and I nodded instantly, "Better than I thought," I acknowledged which made him beam at me with all his teeth showing. 

Putik nito, pareho naman kaming toothpaste ginagamit minsan pero ba't mas maganda pa rin ang ngiti niya? He told me once that he barely visits the dentist unless necessary but the man has the perfect set of teeth that could be used in a commercial. Saan ang hustisya dun?!