Never Have I Ever

Is it the beginning or the end?

Weddings.

It's the most-awaited event for most women, a proof that happy endings really do exist in real life as depicted in several fairytales. For a hopeless romantic like myself, it's been a lifelong dream to experience it firsthand. Who else would say no to a blissful marital life?

"Are you ready for your happily ever after?" All eyes were on me as the wedding gown designer, Phoebe, with rainbow-coloured hair in a pink suit asked. She opened the curtains surrounding me to show my entire look to my mini-audience who comprised of some staff members and friends.

They all gasped at once as if seeing something immensely shocking—mukha ata akong tao ngayong araw—and even my three best friends stayed quiet while having silent tears on their eyes while glancing at me. I can even feel myself about to sob at this momentous event as if it's already my big day. Aren't we all such drama queens?

"I can't wait." I've dreamt of this moment all my life since I was kid who attended weddings frequently like a badge of honor. At sa wakas, ako na talaga ang bida. I'm finally getting the chance to marry my first love!

As a smile was on my lips, I shifted to my side focusing at my reflection in front of the wide full body mirror. I'm wearing a long-sleeve lace white wedding dress with a mermaid cut that perfectly hogs the curves in my body.

I had to maintain a strict diet for months to fit in this dress and a part of me still thinks why I had to do that. To look perfect like this? I got to say that it was worth skipping my usual chicken and beer combos on Fridays. Kahit na iniyakan ko yun ng slight.

I can even imagine my fiance's face as I walk to the aisle towards him. It'd definitely be priceless. He'll surely cry in bliss and just a thought of it makes a small tear escape my eye.

"Oh, Kari, I'm so happy for you!" Ashley, my blonde hair and blue eyed best friend, walked towards me and gave me a slight hug. I can only force myself a smile since this dress isn't exactly making me breathe when I move. Putik naman. I think I still need to lose a few pounds in two days if that's humanly possible. No pain, no gain, I guess for a bride-to-be.

"Thank you, Ash. I'm happy you're all here." I said out loud for everyone to hear. I never really thought that we'd be together for the fitting because of our conflicting schedules—woes of adulthood—but here we all are. Maybe the gods are finally in my favor after all these years?

But I admit that it would've been perfect if my groom was here to share this moment with me. Although they said that my wedding dress was meant to be a surprise for him as per tradition, I still can't help but feel anxious that we haven't talked properly in days since he seemed preoccupied recently. Or is this what they call the wedding jitters? Kari, wag praning, busy lang talaga yung tao. I have to remind myself yet again to stop overthinking too much.

"Let's all take a photo before Kari changes." Majoy's voice slipped me out of my thoughts, reminding me of the present. Despite having a baby bump, she still looks divine in her simple floral dress while her black hair was put in a bun. I took a mental note to enjoy things as it is and not worry too much. Deep breaths, Kari. Breathe.

"I'll take it." Phoebe volunteered and got everyone's phones and took a few photos for each device.

As we were shifting positions with Majoy on my left and Reese on my right while Ash was in the back, Reese whispered, "Are you okay? You look like you're about to throw up." Out of all my friends, Reese was the most perceptive. Although they look like a punk star with their pixie cut black hair along with that leather jacket and ripped jeans, they was always a softie for me like an elder sibling I never had.