Never Have I Ever

Third Shot

Kari

Ang dilim ng lahat. My world was getting darker by the minute, too bleak for an ounce of salvation.

"I'm...sorry, Kari. Patawarin mo ko. I never meant to hurt you." I punched him again and again until my knuckles hurt and formed gashes. Sorry mo mukha mo, Jake.

He's sorry? Does he honestly think that those words could make me easily forgive and forget? How I wish it'd be that damned effortless to make all the pain go away, Jake. If it was, then maybe I'd find it in me to understand you and let this all go.

20 years. I spent two putanginang decades with this man since we were both three and I thought love was enough to conquer it all. I believed I was enough for him but I guess that was all but a farce now.

"Ba't ganito pa...Jake..Bakit?" I couldn't stop myself from taking out my anger at him as if it could relieve anything.

I loved this man so much to the point of giving everything up yet here I am hurting him to let him taste every bit of my pain.

Ang tanga mo, Kari. Ang tanga-tanga mo.

I was a fool for letting a man take the best of me. And what's funnier? It's that everything is slowly dawning to me now like an avalanche of pent-up emotions.

Not once have I complained even if things got rough between us. Although I was often disappointed that he cancelled dates last minute, I never whined about it. He even tends to take out his frustrations on me verbally and I was fine with it because I made a vow to myself to love him in both good times and the bad.

But this betrayal? This was so much more than I could bear. I might be a fool for him a lot of times—that my friends often call me out for being stupid—but I'm not some martyr who could turn a blind eye on this one. Cheating is the one thing that I will never tolerate in my book, Jake and he of all people should know how I strongly feel about this. Regardless of how much I love you, stabbing me in the back like this will be a grudge that I will take to my fucking grave.

I can hear people clamouring and whispering in the background when I realized Jake was no longer saying anything nor opening his eyes. But hell I care what others think of me.

As I stared at the bits of blood in my knuckles and palms, I felt more lost and conflicted. What have I become? Is this the Kari that looked happy in the mirror moments ago?
Was hurting him supposed to feel good? Because it doesn't.

Instead, it just made the gnawing pain in my chest get worse as if it was getting burned to the stake in hell. I can only wish someone would pull me out of this because I can't seem to do it myself. Can anyone please help?

As if hearing my plea, "Alright, I think that's enough, Bridey." I felt a strong and warm hand grab my right wrist, pulling me out of my thoughts. Bridey?

When I turned back, a pair of ocean-blue eyes met my dark orbs. A straight gaze that was enough to calm my raging storm.

"I think you've done enough damage for the day. You might end up in jail if you don't stop." Violence was never the answer, I know that. But would anyone stay sane after everything?

"Damn the consequences—"

"Heave ho, up we go." Before I could make sense out of his words, this tall man in a three-piece dark blue suit lifted me up in the air as if I was as light as a feather and put me over his shoulder like carrying a sack of rice. Puta nito.