Past Love

Chapter 2: Memories

Sunday May 15th, 2005

5:45pm

Tyrone

I pulled up to the address that ma had written down on the paper she gave me. I can't believe it, this was the 1st time in a decade i was really going to talk to this guy, i gave him the cold shoulder at the funeral today, that's because i couldn't think of anything to say, i couldn't tell him what was on my mind or how i was feeling, i was emotional but i held it together for mom's. I lost my only brother, and now I am coming over here. I wanted to see how Jahmelle was holding up, I HAD to see how he was holding up. I sat in my car for a second and I wiped my tears, then I got out of the car and went up to the door and waited for a minute before I knocked. I waited for a second, then I knocked again. I waited and then the door came open.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I just wanted to...."

"Save it, you were cold to me at the funeral, you know what, I should close the door on your ass..."

"Close the door on me then nigga...i'm the one that just lost his brother and you talking about closing the door on me."

"Whatever." He held his hands up in defeat, eyebrows raised looking at me and he rolled his eyes. "Come on in." He said.

I came in and I saw his place. It was pretty nice, I saw the pictures around the house of the family, both his family and mine and pictures of him and my brother.

"This is crazy." He said. "One minute he was here and the next minute he was gone, I mean this is St. Louis yeah but come on now, crimes out of hand."

"Look, I know you tried to keep him on the straight and narrow."

"Yeah but you know how your brother is....was, always had something on his mind, always one for mischief." He said laughing. "I know he had a good heart, somewhere along the line he just got led astray." He told me as he patted me on the shoulder. We both looked into each other's eyes. "Hey, you want something to eat?" He asked.

"No, I'm good. To be honest I should get going." I told him. "I got a hotel I've rented out for a couple weeks until I get things situated and taken care of here." I said.

"Awww okay sounds good, wait...." He looked at me and then he gave me a set of keys. "Here you go....these set of keys are to Shawn's house." He told me. "You don't have to stay at the hotel, you can stay at Shawn's place, I mean the mortgage is paid and all, so I mean...look you can stay in it." He told me as he began to choke up.

"Thanks." I said. I saw the tears coming out of his eyes. "Look man, I don't blame you. I don't blame you at all." I told him as I took the keys from him and gave him a much needed, comforting hug.

After that I got the directions from him and then I headed down to Shawn's old place over on the corner of Roberts Avenue & Kingsland Avenue. It was 6:10pm when I pulled in there. The house he had looked small, he was never the one to want much, just a decent place to lay his head and call home. When i got into his house i was surprised, it wasn't what i had expected, he had 3 bedrooms in there.

I took a look around, I saw where the radio had been messed with. Before I left Jahmelle told me that he was here, so it wasn't out of the ordinary. I turned the radio up and it was on 102.5 TSLS (The St. Louis Sound). They were playing Boyz II Men - It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday. When I heard that song I walked over to a picture of me and Shawn, smiling and making funny faces. Tears began to pour out and I broke down, crying, on my knees, hugging the picture. MEMORIES began coming back to me, the last few years of his life, me and him had a strained relationship because of my busy schedule amongst other things. Now he's not here, I hate it, I miss my little brother.

End Of Chapter 2