Past Love

Chapter 24: On Cloud 9

Thursday September 1st, 2005

5:00 a.m.

Damon

I woke up in a cold sweat, my mind racing and the room felt like it was spinning, I felt nauseous and I felt nervous. I went to the bathroom to put some cold water on my face and I went into the kitchen to get a cold bottle of water. Once I got myself settled down I went back into my room and laid back down. I turned the radio on and put it on low and I put it on 102.5 TSLS (The St Louis Sound) and they were playing No Vaseline By Ice Cube. I laid back as I listen to the song, I was in my thoughts a lot of things was going on in my mind this whole court case coming up, the whole situation that got me into this mess in the first place, the kindness of Jahmelle and Kash and Vonté and everybody else that I've met. Sometimes I feel like I'm worthless but these people make me feel like I'm worth something in life. I know I can be a bit rough around the edges but these people stayed in my life and worked with me and helped me become a better person and I am forever grateful to them for that. I realize that I've tried to make things right with everyone else except for my former boss. So now I have to go to the mall and make things right with him because he gave me a chance and opportunity when nobody else would. The clock ticked on the wall in the room, tick tock, tick tock, my thoughts keeping me in a trance until I heard a voice snapping me out of it.

"Damon....Damon, are you alright?" I turned over to the side and looked at the door and saw that it was Tyrone.

"Hey Tyrone.... I'm okay, just in my thoughts about everything, I don't know what I'm going to do you know."

"Well look what I do before a boxing match is close my eyes and count to 100, breathe in and out that's what I do to relieve stress or get my mind off of negative things."

"Well you know what, I'll give that a try."

"Yeah man, you never know how things may work. You have to give things a try before you go ahead and decide that it doesn't work for you. So just breathe In and out, try to count to 50 at first then work your way higher and higher until you reach 100 or even past 100. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go train and practice building my strength back up. We'll definitely talk later though."

"Alright man, sounds cool. I'll definitely do that." After he said that I thought about something for a second and then I got up and caught him right before he went out the door. "Hey wait Tyrone can I go with you man?" I asked him. "I just need a way to relax and unwind and release some stress. I can't let Lee taught me and haunt me from beyond the grave." I told him.

"Alright man, hurry up. You got 10 minutes and then I'm out that door."

******

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5:30 a.m.

Jahmelle

I got up out of the bed with a lot on my mind. School's going to start in a couple hours. I need to prepare myself to teach these kids today. Spending time with Tyrone last night was good though. And as far as the situation with Damon I don't know what's going to happen, we still haven't got word on when his court date is supposed to start. For now all of us are just waiting. I heard Tyrone and Damon leaving so I finally had time to get myself situated. I went ahead and got my phone out and I ended up calling Kash. I didn't know if you would answer though but after about three or four rings he answered.

"Yo negro why you calling me this early man?"

"I was just wondering what you were doing and everything. Maybe you want some company?"

"This early in the morning man it must be something on your mind. You remember where I live right?"

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I man?" I said laughing, he let out a small chuckle.

"Alright, well then pull up in about 30 minutes."

"All right Kash, will do."

Now that dude knew that It was going to take me more than 30 minutes to get myself situated and ready to pull up at his house. I got out of the bed and used the bathroom, brushed my teeth and took care of my daily hygiene. I got my clothes on and around 6:10 a.m. I was out the door. I headed down to his place, it took about 10 minutes or so to get to, he lived pretty close to his store, he lived on Bellrue Avenue, he had a big bush in the front yard and a pretty steep driveway. I pulled into it, got out and went and knocked on the door.

"Hey man what's up?" He said opening the door. "What's on your mind? I got some blunts in the living room if you want to get faded."

"Now you know me better than that.....i might just have one." I said laughing, knowing that one will probably turn into two and two would turn into three.

Me and Kash talked for the next hour and a half and the blunts went left and right. Four maybe five blunts down and I was feeling just right.

"Damn i can't go to the school and teach them kids, i'm all fucked up man, like for real, damn!" I said. "This shit is hitting just right!" We both busted out laughing. "But for real man I appreciate this, I just needed someone who'd listen to my problems and just get me to relax, I mean between this thing with Damon and me trying to figure out my relationship with Tyrone I just don't know what I'm doing." I said. "I mean i've been having a internal conflict with myself so much, asking myself if i'm in over my head or if i'm not, but i want to ask you this and i want your honest, genuine opinion." I told him.

"Go ahead man." He said.

"Do you think i'm in over my head, i'm trying to protect Damon from so much, trying to be the father figure or the big brother he never had, and look at all the trouble and chaos that caused. And on the other hand I'm trying to figure out my love life with Tyrone and figure out what he wants."

"Well i'm gonna be straight up with you, keep it 100% with you, as the young people now say." He said laughing, I chuckled a bit too. "I feel that what you're doing with Damon is commendable, it's a good thing, i feel like you're trying to make up for not being able to help Shawn which is understandable, you feel guilty for not protecting him, and in turn you're trying to protect Damon because you see a bit of Shawn in him. Now as far as Tyrone is concerned you're trying to rekindle something that happened over a decade ago, Now do i think you're moving too fast? No, because you know what you want, and so does Tyrone, I've known both of y'all for a long time and that's one thing I know about y'all is that both you and him know what y'all want and y'all go after it. Now Is the situation right now complicated? Hell yeah it's complicated, this is like something out of a movie or a book or something but knowing you like I do I know that in due time things will work out, whether it's good or bad and you'll be strong enough to get through it." He said. "And i'll be here every step of the way, man." He told me, smiling.

"Thanks Kash, I appreciate you man, for real."

"No problem man, no problem at all."

End Of Chapter 24