SEVEN: Cursed Souls

CHAPTER 3: LIFE AND DEATH

DARKNESS DEVOURED ME. My heart was pounding fast against my chest, and I couldn't breathe. 

My body froze while my hands trembled, then my eyes grew wider when blood flowed from my palms.

I took a deep breath before shouting in hysteria, "I'LL NEVER DO SUCH THING!"

I shouted loud as I woke up from the worst nightmare I ever had. Will I kill them in the future? No! I wouldn't. I was just angry, it is wrong! I shouldn't.

The siren rang: my mother came inside my room with her mouth like a siren. I was relieved to hear her-- this is the first time that I'm glad to hear her nag at me. This frustrated person once had a kinder heart, but she just took the wrong path after facing obstacles of life. We had a better life, but the world turned against us, and we are now here at the bottom where even this house we are living in may be sold soon.

I wanted to hug her. I feel sorry for my dream, but I was too awkward. I just looked at her, teary eyed.

"YOU! You couldn't even take care of yourself, yet you have a girlfriend?! Someone is waiting downstairs. Get down fast!" she exclaimed as my loving girlfriend came to get me out for a date.

I begged my mother to play nice even just for now then a devious smile can be drawn from her face--it was a wide smile, but her eyes tells that she is not happy at all. Her smile immediately shifted into a bitter gaze with an uncanny frown when she answered slowly, "What do you think of me?" then exclaimed "Do not tell me what to do! I will be nice to her!"

My heart is still in awe from the fact that my girlfriend thinks of me well that she even cared to come here. I should've been the one who picked her up.

I went down to talk to her, and mother hurriedly followed.

"Hello, sweetheart! What is your name? Have a drink."

You can see the plasticity of her when she offered her a drink, she once again used that smile she have shown me but looks down on her when my girlfriend is staring at me.

Jamila, the woman who caught my heart. She meets both body and beauty stereotypes that whenever we are together, people would look at me with suspicion. I certainly do not blame them since she is miles away from what I am, perhaps lightyears for she is a shining star in the universe while I am just a speck of dust in vast space.

The aspect of her that would really catch people's attention is her eyes that are of a fox, but unlike these people, I look past to what I see outside but rather her inner beauty that radiates through her kindness.

We didn't stay that long in our house. I didn't even let her take a sip of the drink my mother prepared, because I rushed to get her out after I introduced her.

It was almost noon when we went out, I woke up late today. I looked at her, only to realize that my life is on the line, and I wouldn't be able to talk to her through the phone for a while.

I told her about the events that occurred, not expecting a warm embrace. She asked me to cancel the date since she knew the danger ahead. She held my hand and looked me in the eyes, "Please be strong. Be safe my man! I would die if you left me, "she placed  my hand above her belly, "You don't want your child to lose their father before they could even be born, right?"

My ears cannot believe what it just heard. Am I going to be a father?

"You're pregnant?!" I asked in shock, we only did it once.

"Yes, I am! I didn't expect that it would turn out this way. I hope you won't run away from your responsibilities."

I couldn't put myself together. I am going to be a father but there is a possibility that this child may lose his father before he could even see the world. All I could do now is to assure her that I wouldn't run away from the responsibilities and that I will be safe. I walked her home then also went on my way.

I looked at the seemingly endless blue sky as I walk, realizing how the world is vast and it is dangerous: the creatures living in it are threats to each other, and human's greatest foe are themselves. We are never safe in this world, there be or there be not a threat, either fate, chased by death, or by their fellows, we'd certainly die somehow. Life wasn't as precious to me anyway, but now that I bear a child with Jamila, life isn't the same as it was. As if a light after all the darkness had been bestowed upon me.

Not long after, I got home. I was met by a sudden shiver when I got inside. The house is too silent that I could even hear my own breathing.

Some news from my father broke the silence. "RYDER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! Your brother is missing! He didn't come home yesterday, and his friends don't know where he is. He isn't answering our calls, nor even texts back. Your brother usually doesn't come home but he doesn't do this, he usually updates."

"Have you reported it already, Pa?"

"We did but it's no use. It's not like they're going to help us right away so we're going out to look for him again. Stay here or your mother will kill me!"

My brother was once the closest to me, he would beat up kids who bullied me when I was young since I was a crybaby, so I hope he is okay. I just hope that the people who texted me yesterday did not go for him instead but hours that felt decades had passed, there is still no update.

I kept waiting until sunset came and with such luck that I have, the electricity went out.

I locked all the doors. Somebody then knocked at the front door. I hid because it might be that person who wants to kill me. He knocked again, it was louder this time, I breathed hard then I heard him knock more.

"Please open the door!" He repeated relentlessly. Without a doubt, I know that it is my brother's voice. I ran to open the door, only to find my brother who is lied down the floor, I could barely see him, then he held my hand. 

His hand is covered with a sticky fluid which startled me. It only brought me worries when I smelled what it could be. I had to let go then grabbed the candle nearby, hoping that I was wrong when I figured that fluid may be blood. I wasn't wrong.

"What happened bro?" I asked, looking into my hand and my brother who is bathing in his own blood "Why are you covered in blood?!"

Seeing him made me feel like I've been splashed by a bucket of cold water--a knife is pinned in his chest and blood is all over his body. I lost my composure while thinking what to do, there could still be someone coming for him, so I pulled him inside.

"R-Ryder! Take the...the knife...off!"

"I can't...Bro, no...T-that would kill you."

"Ryder, please end my suffering! I'm sorry that I wasn't good to you. Remember that I love you even though I haven't showed it. P-please...forgive me, brother!" he pleads as he ran out of breath.

His head was already soaked in blood, while more flowed from his ears, I could not pull the knife because it will make him lose more blood. He has other stab wounds that are gushing out blood also.

He looked at me and took a deep breath, then nothing followed. Somebody then cried from the door. It was my poor mother who saw everything. She pushed me away, grabbed the knife and pulled it.

"Call the ambulance! What are you all doing! The killers may still be outside! MY SON!" mother yells as she knelt beside my brother, "My most precious son!" she cried as she hugged him tight.

My father was stunned so I called an ambulance, some of his friends searched nearby to find who might've done this, while my mother badly saves my brother as she tried to resuscitate him by breathing into his mouth.

Seeing your own brother die was already painful, but seeing a mother cry for her dearest child tore my heart into pieces. What have our family done to this world for it to detest us this much?

My brother was pronounced dead on arrival. I can't accept this! I'll seek vengeance for my brother. He doesn't deserve this!