Potions*Regulus Black

TWENTY TWO

Celeste POV;

I was stood in my dorm packing everything I could. this was it, this was what I had chosen, mother would have loved me to see me right now being something she couldn't, standing for something I want.
Where would we go and how.

I reflected back on my childhood while packing my shit up as I picked many photos off the wall of me and my coralline and some of even mimi, my thoughts trailed to them both and I wondered what they would think of me standing here doing this right now, cora probably grabbing my wrist and begging me to stay as she knows this is a bad idea and she would probably be right. I knew myself this was a bad idea and even though I didn't have a sense of childishness in me I knew that the the tiniest of fragment left will disappear the minute I left the four walls of my dorm,

Those who didn't involve the dark side were still children and god oh mighty I wished that was me, but it couldn't be not at all I was an adult from the minute I stepped into Hogwarts and I'm leaving feeling like an adult still, this was meant to be my childhood but it just felt like I was ten or more years older than I am right now, my head and back ached my eyes were tired with many layers of bags underneath them and I was having a child.

I had finished packing and looked around my lonesome room, goodbye to my life, goodbye to my dreams of pursuing my dream career. Goodbye to my life as a child and hello to my own child.

There was a light knock on my door
"Come in reg" the door opened and I turned round to see Dumbledore and his expression should everything I didn't want to see I could even possible see a slight tear trickling down the old man's cheek, but that's not what got me upset it was his words that hurt me more.

The pain that he spoke with hit me even harder and the thought of how he could do this made it even worse, people had hurt me but this worse than getting hurt normally.
Tears began to pour out both my eyes and I didn't understand why they wouldn't stop Dumbledore even tried to help me and give me some comfort with the warmth of a hug but
that wouldn't even help how cold my heart felt right, and how every little piece of it had been turned to ice and hit with a hammer.

"I don't know if he will come back Celeste but if he truly loves you he will"
If he truly loved me he would never of even left.

-Chapter gets deep, warnings of depression, anxiety-

regulus really was gone, Dumbledore had tried to explain that this might be a good thing and that it meant I was safe but for a man who is meant to know everything I completely disagreed with him.

I got the choice of being sent home or staying at Hogwarts and I thought choosing Hogwarts was the best option but I was wrong, I was under full lockdown practically, I had to be escorted to classes and meals and there was even a house elf that sat outside my room at all times. The teachers that once looked up at me with high standards now all had a look of disgust and a face plastered of fear when I walked into their classroom knowing I was a lot different than I seemed and its not like I was happy to see them either yet I tried not to really show it even when It was hard.

Dumbledore practically knew everything about me now and practically knew more than myself too, I was having regular meetings every Thursday evening with him about how school was and what I had done that day, bunch of bullshit to try and make me happier but it didn't work. you could almost say I was grieving at the lost of regulus it felt like he was dead and I would never see him again and that he had been away for ever even though it had been three weeks I also knew it would be for much longer too unless a get out of this place.

My heart had been torn into shreds and lit on fire, my eyes were fucking burnt from crying. My nose burnt from tissues, the tissues were the only thing holding my hand. No friends, no family. Nobody   was there for me. Friends of enemies are enemies and enemies of enemies are friends, was one of the biggest facts of my life right now as they always say keep your fiends close but your enemies closer

The panic attacks where getting too much for me, I was anxious about the stupidest things ever and I feel silly for it as I can't control it and I don't understand why I have it and and why's it's here or what's it even doing to me.

I wish I could get myself back, I miss me and I wish I could get the old regulus back but I would never even get him at all.

They always say Hogwarts is home but they also say homes where the heart is, but how can it be that when mine was so broken and all I feel like I talk about is how my hearts broken because regulus has gone but what else is their to talk about.

—A/N—
Soooo sorry for long wait, Ill,schoolwork,covid,ww3 been very busy lately if you can't tell I have a major competition for a sport I'm participating in two on top of all that but it is no excuse to not upload just because I can't be bothered too. Hopefully my motivation to write comes back very soon but until then it will uploads as irregular as my periods.

Wishing all those in Ukraine love and support.