Where stars come from- Phan Discontinued Until Further Notice

Chapter 3 -Phil

I woke up the next morning ten times more worried than yesterday. Let alone the fact that i'm already an easy target but also the fact that the brown haired boy now sits next to me in three classes but also the fact hes a prep i donno maybe a jock but i doubt it. I hope to god that he doesn't start talking to me because we all know what happens then... doesn't

I rolled out of bed and slugged over to my dresser to pull out a lion t-shirt with black shorts sleeves and black skinny jeans. And sat on my bed taking it all in. My room was very small in fact my entire house is quite small because my "family" is very poor and always has been. It is a small room with yellowish white walls and faded brown carpet and in one corner it has a twin sized bed that I'm sitting on. The only thing else in my room is a dresser and a desk with a small chair which I rarely use. It's kinda sad really to look around your room and think about how you are the only person to ever take step in it. The only other person allowed to step foot in it is my father. I never had any friends but Tyler Oakley who kinda ditches me once he got dragged to the preps but he never hurt me other than mentally because he couldn't bring himself to do so. I was very grateful for that though.

I wasn't excited for school whatsoever due to the fact that the brown haired boy I never actually caught his name, is now sitting next to me in two of my classes and is in four of them. I keep telling myself im only so nervous is because he is popular but i honestly don't think that's the case. Hes beautiful...

I walked out of my room into the living room after throughout on my shoes and walked out of the door no even bothering about eating after seeing the time. And started walking to school cautiously keeping my head down in case someone saw me and got any ideas to hurt me. I walked all the way there and headed up the stairs. I guess i was late because very few people where out there and the people there where rushing up stairs... Oh well

I walked to my locker and threw a few things from my bag i didnt need and then headed to my first hour class sitting next to the dreaded brown haired beauty. Sitting down i heard the teacher yell "Lester! Your late! Whatever you excused your new. DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Not to self: This teacher is an asshole. "Haha the fagots late." I heard the jerk sitting behind me. "GREG! Go to the office that kind of attitude shall not be tolerated in my class especially towards newcomers!" The teacher yelled at the jerk. I knew already thats going to back stab me later. As the so named asshole Greg walked passed he whispered in a way that was seductively into my ear nibiling my earlobe making me feel unbearably uncomfortable "Your going to pay for that Lester." So he thinks i'm gay? I mean i am but are you fucking kidding me‽ Oh god... what is he going to do to me‽ I'm really uncomfortable. I struggle paying attention the rest of the day in class very break worried hes going to come around the corner and hurt me but it never happens. But then it happen during science my teacher walks up to me at the end of the class and tells me "You missed a test two days before you arrived that was very important that is a personal test not one about things we have learned i want you to come to my room at the end of the day to make it up. Can you do that for me?" "Y- yeah um right after school?" "Yes don't worry it will only take you about ten minutes. Unless you need to contact you parents then you can do it on Monday." ''I can't come to school on Monday today will be fine." It wasnt a lie about me not coming because i have a docter apointment but i didnt realize how stupid i was for actually accepting the staying after school thing but i couldn't back out now because the teacher already thanked me and walked away. Crap. Maybe Greg will already be gone by then. I walked out and finished the day before walking back into the science class and doing the test thing. The test was really personal and i couldnt help but feel like i was giving them to much information about myself. After the test was done i sent my test results to my teacher. "Thank you mr Lester you may leave now." He shot me a quick smile before i rushed over and through my stuff in my locker in an attempt to get out of there as quick as possible so Greg wouldn't find me. But it didn't work. The curly jackass brown haired idiot (Not the hot one) walked out from the corner. "Oh you are still hear..." He said quietly. At that point i threw my stuff in my locker and grabbed my backpack and started running. I felt cold gross hand grab my shoulder very firm and i couldn't keep running. "Well don't run sweetheart. I only want to have a little fun." "GET AWAY!" I scream on the top of my lungs but he only grabs my shoulders more and roughly no warning slams his lips into mind. I scream stiff and try to wriggle out of his grasp. He left my mouth and i bite him and he lets go for a split second. I take the chance to run as fast as i could possibly get and don't stop until i get to my house running and getting into the door. I slammed the door shut and slid down the door with my back reluctantly. I felt abused, asulted, used. I did nothing wrong all I did was enter the room and then it went to shot as if I was the cause of all of this. Why does the whole goddamn world hate me? Is all this destruction really my fault? Am I really that different? Am I really so awful that everyone is against me?

"Philip! Get your ass over here!" Shit! I forgot all about where I actually am and how late I am. I was supposed to get here like twenty minutes ago but I was all caught up in being asulted... All of a sudden I felt a sweaty clammy strong grip grabbing the hem of my shit yanking me up to be face to face with the man himself... My father. "Where the fuck were you!" He yelled loadly shooting spit into my face. I was shaking uncontrolably and hesitantly stuttered a few short words "Fi-finishing a test..." "IT SURE DON'T SOUND LIKE YOU WHERE JUST DOING A TEST! WHAT WHERE YOU ACTUALLY DOING?!" I kinda wanted to say i was being sexually asulted in a starcastic tone, but i knew the outcome... "i-i... i don't know." He scowled at me harshly then letting me go pushing me violently away for the wall by my head. I ran up stairs before he could say anything more. I land into my pillow crying. I cant stand this life, first i wake up to a mean father than i go to school to get beat up than asulted than go back home to an abusive father. Am i really that bad of a person to have to go through this? My mind started flowing other... bad... darker places... Before i let my mind continue doing so i sit up and walk over to the window. I pull open the window and throw one leg over the edge. The next leg comes soon after. I throw my body forward and onto the tree beside my window and slowly climb down it. As i find the ground i start walking. I have done this many times and i could walk there with my eyes closed. I was walking to the small lake fifteen minutes away from my house... I go there when i feel awful... or sad...

AUTHORS NOTE- Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I HAVNT UPDATED IN FOREVER! I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND MAKING VIDEOS. I ALSO WROTE THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER BEFORE BUT IT DIDNT SAVE SO I REWROTE IT... I LIKE THIS MORE THAN THE OTHER SO THATS GOOD. THANK YOU FOR READING I WILL TRY TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN... WHOOPS