Hope {The 100} [6]

Chapter 13: Space Again

The events that followed Abby's death can only be described as chaotic. There was very little the four of us could do as we were locked away in a separate room in the palace. We could hear a bunch of commotion and the power even went out at one point but still the only thing the four of us could do was sit and wait to either be saved or let go. I wasn't getting my hopes up too much that it would be happening anytime soon. 

The time passed very slowly and all that I could think about was Aster and what she was going through.

Did she find out the primes were fake gods? Does she know where I am? Is she even thinking of me? How was she handling the death of her sister? Is she staying strong for her parents?

That's what I would do if I were in that situation. I would do everything in my power to stay strong for my mom. Even if I felt like the entire world around me was crumbling to pieces. I had to do that for 21 years. 

My mom just assumed that I was okay, that I was perfectly fine, but growing up with only one other person can royally mess up a person. I felt isolated my whole life, guaranteed I practically was, but I could never tell my mother that, if I did she would be devastated. She understood that I was discontent with my life, that's why she put me into cryosleep but for me to actually say it to her would kill her. 

She didn't mean for my life to end up the way it did. She honestly didn't know that she could get pregnant. On the Ark, once they hit puberty all females are implanted with a form of birth control that doesn't get removed unless they are approved to start a family. My mother never got hers removed. She told me that I was a miracle because very rarely did the birth control fail. 

Sitting in the quiet room I rested my head back and looked up at the ceiling. If I ever become a mother would I make the same choices she did? I honestly don't think I would have the strength to raise a baby all alone on a spaceship surrounded by the bodies of those who I once loved without the temptation of waking someone else up. 

When I was younger I used to imagine what they were like. What they sounded like and what their personalities were. I would imagine Bellamy playing ball with me, Clarke drawing with me, and Raven teaching me the ways of the ship. My whole life I lived off fake memories of the people I wished could have been there to see me become who I am. Instead, I was alone with only my mother. 

Don't get me wrong I will be forever grateful for my mother but you can't blame me for wanting more. My whole life I felt like something was missing like there was a part of me out there in the universe just waiting for me to find. I went my whole life feeling like this until I got to Sactam and met Aster. She is the part of me that I needed to make my life feel whole and now I don't even know if she cares I'm missing. 

There was a loud commotion coming from outside. It sounded like people were fighting as there were many screams. 

"What's going on?" I asked more to myself. Madi couldn't respond as she was still tied up and her mouth had a cloth around it to stop her yelling. 

It wasn't long before the guards came into the room, tying up the rest of us before pulling us out of the palace and into the chaos that was Sanctum at the moment. 

There was a large crowd fighting at the bottom of the steps, and a green haze made it hard to make out faces but I could have sworn that just for a second I saw Bellamy's freckled face before being pulled away again. 

The four of us were brought to the room where all the other resurrected primes were hiding, along with Murphy and Emori. 

Clarke walked into the room a few minutes later. 

"Thank God. Where have you been?" Russell asked the girl pretending to be his daughter.

"I was looking for Priya. But then I was blocked by a bunch of Gabriel's lunatic children. She's dead, by the way." Clarke lowered her tone to a whisper. "What the hell is going on?"

"We're leaving Sanctum until it's purified," Simone said. Well, Simone in Abby's body.