Desire - Merddison

Chapter Six

Addison's POV

I lay in my bed of the hotel, not wanting to move. I probably just pushed Derek and Meredith back together, now that Meredith now knew that she is the victim in all of this. She's probably got all the details from Derek now, and she's gonna forgive him for not telling her and they're gonna fall in love, get married and have tonnes of beautiful children who look just like her running around.

Crap, like him, like him not her.

There was probably now no chance of me and him getting back together. I don't know who I would be more jealous of, whether I'd be jealous of Meredith for being able to have Derek, or more jealous of Derek for having Meredith.

Woah. Where is this coming from? I had a few drinks last night. Maybe they're still in my system? I'm not into women.

Why am I thinking like this? I have a husband, who I want back. But Meredith. Just wow. I can't get over her beauty, her delicate features, her figure, the way her hips sway when she walks. I can see why he chose her as a way to try and get over me. If I was him, I would have picked her too if I was him.

Oh my god, where is all this coming from? She had some sort of spell on me. As if she had cursed me somehow for coming to Seattle and introducing myself as Derek's wife, by making it impossible to think about Derek without thinking about her. This was all too weird. Way too weird.

***

I had finally dragged myself out of bed and got myself to the hospital. I'm walking through the hall ways up on neuro, half looking for Derek, half checking in on Richard since he was my mentor at one point during the beginning of my career. I then see a familiar face walk by and into Richard's room, where Derek also is. Great. Either way, I decided to go on into the room anyway, Derek can't force me to leave the room. When I walk in, the woman I thought I saw, was in fact the woman I thought I saw.

"I thought I saw a fabulous looking woman walk by." I say to Adele, Richard's wife, as I walk into the room.

"Addison!" She exclaims whilst coming up to me to give me a hug, "Yes see, I told Richard, I knew you and Derek would get back together."

"Ah, actually I'm here on a case." I stutter a little bit. If only it was that easy to get back together with Derek.

"Addison and I are over, Adele." Derek says sternly, with hardly any ounce of sadness, as if it was final and he wouldn't accept anything different.

"It's not like we're divorced." I say back. Reminding that even though he claims we aren't together, we are still married, and he too technically cheated on me with the hot slutty intern.

"Practically divorced."

"You've had counseling?" Asked Adele.

"We had adultery. That was enough." Derek said, clearly ending the conversation. I walk over to Adele and tell her I'll call her later before walking out of the room.

Getting back with Derek is gonna be one hell of a mission. But he is my husband, I love him, and I don't want to give up on our marriage, even if I did do something wrong, I still love and want him. Whether he wants me or Meredith.

I go about my day, consulting on some patients for people who paged for an OB but were unavailable, aswell as checking in on Julie, my TTTS case. And I was pleased with the progress aswell as the recovery from the procedure we had done yesterday.

***

A few hours later I was once again walking around the hallways of the hospital whilst I had a bit of free time. I see Dr Bailey and Dr Grey speaking with a doctor from psych about a patient of theres. It was my first time seeing her today, and for some reason, it gave me that same flutter in my stomach that I had yesterday.

"Dr Grey, may I speak with you for a moment?" I ask.

She turns to Bailey, with a look on her face as if right now she would happily get an order from her to go deal with an exploded abcess or a patient who can't stop vomiting, anything to avoid having to speak to me.

"Don't look at me for help." Bailey says to a dissappointed Meredith.

She walks up to me as we both walk down the hallway together.

"I assume he told you why he left me." I say to her.

She looks annoyed, very annoyed and then stops walking right in front of me.

"Dr Shepherd with all due respect, this has nothing to do with me." She replies as she begins to walk away from me, but I end up following her anyway.

"Really? So you didn't take him back. Good girl." I say with a hint of smirk at the end. Whether that means I'm smirking at the fact that it means Derek is available or that she is available, I don't know. And I also don't know why I keep thinking like this when I know Derek is the one I love.

"And in the future I'd appreciate it if we could keep our relationship strictly professional." Professional, that's a shame.

I stop walking at that point, slightly taken back by how straight faced and stern she was about it, but she carried on walking. Not being done with this conversation, or even wanting to be done with it, I call out her name multiple times before she finally turns around.

"Sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention." I say. Which is the the truth. When mine and Derek's careers really took off, time was something that we didn't have a lot of, we became busy and one thing just led to another.

Meredith just made a face at me and started walking away again. And I have no idea what I was supposed to interpret that face.

"There are two sides to every story." I shout down the hall to her. Because there are two sides to every story. And for some reason, I didn't want her to think that I am a horrible person, that I'm evil and that I make a habit of sleeping with my husband's best friend.

And I wanted her to hear my side of it. To understand it. Yes, I hurt Derek, but there was more to it than that. And I certainly didn't want her to think of me as that kind of person.