Desire - Merddison

Chapter Twelve

Meredith's POV

A couple of weeks later..

It's been weeks. Very eventful weeks. He didn't show. I sat at the bar, waiting and waiting, but he didn't show. There was then a mass casualty, a train derailment. With one very heart breaking case. I was drunk and had to sober up before I could scrub in. My labs came back and I was sober, I scrubbed in on the surgery where two patients, who didn't even know each other, were impaled on a pole together. Derek had avoided me most of that night. When we did finally have a chance to speak, he talked about something completley irrelevant before finally revealing to me that he has to make it work with Addison. He had chosen to go back to her. I understood, partially. Well, at least now I do, I didn't at first. I mean, who could say no to a woman as hot as her, but Derek wouldn't been Derek if he didn't try to make something or anything at all work. But it was still heart breaking, that whole night was. We lost one of the patients. She knew she was going to die, it was the only way to save the other patient. Her injuries were much more extensive and didn't stand a chance. But she was sat there, making jokes and making her laugh, only for us to tell her she wouldn't make it. And she was so brave, she knew it was going to happen. Although it didn't make it any easier losing her. It was horrendous.

The whispers are stares have finally begun to die down. After it became public knowledge what had happened, the whole hospital was gossiping about it. Some mean things were said about Derek, but most of them was about me, because I was the Intern that was sleeping with an Attending, that I got what I deserved.

I really had lost him.

Each and everytime I saw them step of the elevator together, I felt that all too familiar pang of jealousy. And depression. My heart broke more and more each time. Seeing her step of the elevator, smiling that gorgeous smile, that infectious laugh, and just looking plain beautiful. God, Meredith stop. We know he has chosen her, there's no need to keep imagining what it would be to like to be Derek himself, seeing what he sees in Addison to try make it all fit and to understand why he chose her. I know why he chose her. Because she is gorgeous. No, no, because he couldn't throw away all those years so just stop.

***

Addison's POV

Thanksgiving had approached and me and Derek were going to be having sex for the first time since Mark and Meredith, together. We would have food together, and then rip of the band aid as we called it. But he never showed. I waited and waited, but he never came. I later found out that he was at the hospital, with Meredith, and scrubbed in on a surgery, with Meredith. And I felt jealousy. But strangely, not jealous of Meredith spending time with Derek, but Derek spending time with Meredith. These weird little thoughts were supposed to have gone, especially now that we're back together and I don't have to spend my time wondering. So why on earth did I feel jealous?

Maybe because it was supposed to be the day me and Derek would be intimate again. A day I had longed for. But that went out the window.

When Derek returned home that night, I asked him if he was done, done hurting me back. Because it did hurt me. A lot. And that's when I understood just how much we must've hurt Meredith.

Just before Christmas, Meredith and her housemates ended up getting a dog, I presume it was a way for her to get over Derek. Once Christmas passed and the dog's behaviour got to a point where they couldn't do anything due to being interns and working crazy hours, Derek offered to take Doc in, which we did. And they were grateful for that.

***

Present day

Today felt like it would be an eventful day. I'm not sure why, but it just had that feeling. A feeling as if everything would go wrong today.

Not long after coming into to work, I was being paged for a labouring mom. A laboring mom which turned out to be Miranda Bailey.

She was progressing well and everything was going smoothly. Until I found out that her husband Tucker, had been in a car accident and was in emergency brain surgery with my husband. And neither of us had no idea how to tell her, not when she's in labour.

Suddenly everyone's pagers began bleeping, all of us getting an important page. And it's usually extremely important if every single person in the hospital got the page too, as if it was a sign of impending doom. I was in Bailey's room when I recieved the page, I had to take a double look at it.

"What?" Bailey asks me when she sees me pull a face at the page after she asked us to find out where her husband is. We still didn't want to tell her what had happened.

"Oh nothing. I'll... I'll be right back." I say as a exit the room.

***

I was standing in the elevator with other people who looked like they were now going home, George O'Malley walked in and joined me.

"I don't like having to lie to Dr Bailey." He says quietly to me.

"Now's not the time Dr O'Malley."

"She'd want to know about her husband."

I was too busy thinking about this situation. The page. In disbelief about the reason for the page, not quite knowing what to say about it, or how to feel and think about it. O'Malley's pager then went off too, and I presume it was the same page that I had not long recieved.

"Code black? What's a code black?" He asks me. Yep. He got the same page as me. Izzie Stevens then comes running into the elevator just before the doors closed.

"Dr Shepherd, the other Dr Shepherd wanted me to let you know that Tucker's bleed is more extensive than he originally thought. It's gonna be a few more hours before he has anything concrete to tell Dr Bailey." She said to me.

"Thanks Stevens."

The door shuts and the elevator began to move again and O'Malley goes up to Izzie to speak to her.

"What's a code black?" He quietly asks her.

"A what?" She asks back as she goes to look at his pager, only for her own pager to go off too.

"Code black? Code red, code blue, code white. I've never had a code black before.." she turns to look at me, "Dr Shepherd?"

I wasn't sure what to say back, still in shock myself.

"Just.. go back to your locker room and wait for your resident to give you instructions." I say back.

"We don't have a resident." Izzie responds, starting to look very concerned.

"What's going on?" George asks again.

"Is it something bad?"

The elevator dings and the doors open to complete chaos, nurses, doctors and police running around everywhere.

"Yeah, it's something bad."

***

I become updated on the situaton. There is a man with unexploded ordnance in his chest, a paramedic put her hand into the body cavity to control the bleeding and it wasn't until the patient's wife finally calmed down and revealed what had happened, that they realised it was an unexploded bomb inside of him. The bomb squad arrived and it was then discovered that the OR they were in, was right on top of the pipes with the oxygen, meaning it could explode at any moment. Derek trying to be a superhero, refused to evacuate the OR just down the hall when he was asked to, because he is in the middle of brain surgery. Understandable. And then, to add to it all, the paramedic who had her hand on the bomb had done a runner, and someone else went in and put their hand into the body to stop it from detonating. When I found out who it was, I was shocked, very shocked. And worried and scared for them, because I really didn't want anything bad to happen to them. Not to this person, they didn't deserve it. Somehow I find myself more scared for them, instead of my husband who is just down the hall in another OR.

The person was Meredith Grey.

I knew today would be eventful.