Desire - Merddison

Chapter Fourteen

Meredith's POV

Tequila and men. Tequila and men have been my distraction. My way to get over Derek. My way to escape the confusion I've been feeling ever since Addison came round to check on me a few weeks ago after the whole bomb in a body incident.

But then something bad happened. I found out where my father lives. I had questions. And I needed answers. Because it seems as if every man in my life lets me down somehow. But when I showed up there, he didn't have the answers I was hoping for. I didn't know I could feel that crap again, but I did. I thought it would make me feel better. It just made it worse.

I went home that night and shut myself away in my bedroom, silently crying. Too much was going on in my head for me to even process. The feelings for Derek, and whatever it was about Addison, my mother and now my father.

And then the situation got worse. I don't know why I did it. I know I didn't want to. But he said all the right things. All the things I wanted to be said to me, were being said to me.

He knocked on my door, I told him to come in.

"I know I'm not a world renowned surgeon and I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past. I know... But... I would never leave you... I would never hurt you... and I will never stop loving you."

I stayed silent and stared at him. In shock at the words he had said to me. The next thing I know, I'm lifting up his shirt, kissing him, and then getting into bed with George.

And then I cried.

In the days that followed, George moved out, met someone called Callie, Izzie was against me, constantly telling me I needed to apologise to George, which I had tried to do countless times but he just wouldn't listen to it. To the point I felt anger towards Izzie for making me out to be such a villian. And anger towards George. He's supposed to be my friend, when I started crying, he got mad and stormed out. But surely if he really loved me and was a friend to me, he would've asked me why I was crying, asked what was wrong with me, and help me. Not act the way he did. But either way, I still tried so many times to tell him how sorry I was for hurting him like that.

Me and Derek have been getting a long now though. We're friends. Me and him take Doc out for walks. Just like Addison and I do. Not that Derek knows that part. I'd hate to know what he thinks about that. But Derek does know about the situation with George, and I thought he would be judgemental about it, but shockingly he hasn't, for which I'm relieved, because I need a friend who isn't angry at me or making me out to be such a horrible person.

But now at this point, I've decided to be celibate. Amd to help with that I've been knitting, not that I can knit. But everytime I meet a guy, they seem to come with a whole set of problems. I ended up sitting down at Joe's bar, knitting.

"Dude, is she knitting?" I heard one random punter say. Derek then came up to the bar and approached me.

"You know, as a friend. I got to tell you, you look a little weird." He said to me.

I didn't lookup and just carried on knitting. "I am making a sweater."

"You're knitting. In a bar. You're scaring the customers." Joe the bartender said to me.

"Come on, have a drink." Derek said to me.

"I can't have a drink. I'm celibate."

"You mean sober?" Joe said, before turning to Derek and saying, "She means sober."

I still didn't look up. "No. Celibate. I'm practicing celibacy, and drinking does not go well with celibacy because it makes everything and everyone seem kind of porny. Then my heads gets all cloudy and the next thing, I'm naked.." I said as I finally glance at Derek before returning to knitting, "And my point is, I'm celibate and knitting is good or surgical dexterity, so I'm making a sweater."

"You, celibate? I just don't buy it." He said back to me.

I look at him, "No more men." I said to him assertively.

"No more men? Really? You? And I'm asking because we are friends." Addison said as she joined us at the bar. I didn't know whether to take offence or not. But no, no more men... woman.. maybe. No, no. No men, no women, no one.

"Every guy I meet turns out to be married."

"Oooh ouch." Derek said interrupting me.

"Sorry. Or Mark." Mark had shown up at the hospital recently, rubbing it in Derek's nose, where Derek then punched him and Mark found it strange how Derek catches him in bed with his wife and walked away but he saw Derek talking to me and he punched him. That's the short version anyway.

Addison got up and said "Okay... I'm going to go over there now."

"Sorry," I say to her before returning to Derek, "Or remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?" And Derek just nodded back at me.

"You're making a sweater."

"I am making a sweater."

***

Present day.

So after all of those events, here I am. Still depressed. Still heartbroken about Derek, not as much as before, but it still hurts, and still confused and conflicted about Addison. I don't know what it is about her, I really don't, but I can't seem to shut these things off. And it's so deeply frustrating because I clearly have some sort of feelings for her, whilst still having feelings for Derek. How can one person have so many feelings? I don't know. But I do. And I hate it.

A few days ago, Derek had to take Doc to the vet, he was ill, and he still let me involved, he and Addison both say that I'm his owner too even though he lives with them now.

Addison's POV

"Good morning." Derek says to me as he walks up to me in the hall.

"You going into surgery or coming out?" I ask him.

"Going in. I had to push back. Doc's sick."

"Sick? What are his symptoms?"

"Polydipsia, lethargy, and vomiting."

"Any sign of fever or dehydration?" I ask him, forgetting that we aren't talking about a human being here, we're talking about a dog.

"It's unclear. I was considering running a course of IV antibiotics and a saline drip."

"Seriously?" I say. I have no idea why.

"No, Addison. He's a dog. I dropped him off at the vet. They're gonna run some tests and observe him overnight. Meredith will check on him later."

"I gotta run, I got a transfer in from Mercy West. Will you wait for me to go home?"

"Yeah."

***

Several hours later and I have discovered through George O'Malley that my transfer case is actually Meredith Grey's half sister. A sister she doesn't even know exists. As if she didn't have enough on her plate. Afterwards, George asks me to take him off the case, he's trying to avoid Meredith and anything to do with Meredith, I have no idea what went down between them but right now I don't care.

I head back into my patient, Molly's room. I had someone new assigned to this case. Partly because I want to make sure she's okay, but also to try and maybe help her.

"Uhh, Molly, this is Dr... uh.. This is Meredith. She's going to be... continuing your prep work and taking your vitals, ok?" I'm not sure why but that weird flutter feeling came back again when I said Meredith's name.

***

Meredith's POV

I sat in the waiting room of the vets office after work. And what a day it's been. I met my half sister and heard stories about how my 'father' was towards her, and our other sister. It was enraging. He was more of a dad to them than he had ever been to me. So I sit back and carry on with my knitting, taking my mind of the situation.

"Hi. I'm Finn Dandridge, I'm Doc's vet. And you are Dr Grey. Doc's other owner. We finally meet. Hello."