𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲

Thirty Four | Fire

TOM

"Should we go to bed?" Y/N said softly, pulling away from our extended make out session. A session which had previously resulted in us stopping not one but two seperate times because hair got caught between our tongues and we had to pull it out.

That's the reality of these things, the reality that's never shown in rom-com movies or talked about between friends. You never explain to your friends about how wicked it was getting a girls hair in the way of a blow job to your mates. I even think one of the times was my hair and not Y/N's.

After I finished the first Spider-Man trilogy I let it grow out pretty long but for the Bond movie my stylist Rach had to cut it short again. Bond needs perfect gelled hair 24/7, whereas I personally just like to keep it natural. I don't want to wash all the bloody product out of it on my days off when I have to every other day.

"What? Sorry I zoned out. You mean bed, or like bed?" I said shaking my my head to snap out of the daze I was in thinking about my own hair.

"Bed as in, it's late and we should sleep," she said looking at me innocently yet confusingly.

"Oh! Right, yeah, let's go," I said standing up off the couch and stretching my arm up to help her up.

The fire was crackling to a low flame at this stage, smoke drifting up into the chimney as the wood ran low. Whoever woke up tomorrow morning could start it back up again, there's no point burning a fire when everyone's asleep and warm in bed right?

"W-what did you think I meant by going to bed?" She asked curiously.

"I just- We we're kissing and it was getting pretty heated and there was obviously some sexual tension between us during the poker game. I didn't know if you meant like, let's continue the hooking up but uh, in bed," I said pulling her to her feet.

"Did you want that?" She asked nervously, walking back to our room with me slowly.

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head.

"Oh," she responded just as fast, the hint of disappointment in her voice reigning loud and clear.

"No I mean, I do want to like, you know, sleep with you. Just not now though. Not uh, not here... With my family around and stuff... And uh, probably not any time soon actually," I blabbered, which made me want to mentally hit myself.

"Oh definitely not with your whole family around. That's uh, that's a disaster waiting to happen," she said moving to the bed where she sat down on the end and pulled a makeup wipe from her suitcase.

Clearing my throat I shuffled my weight between my feet, nervous to speak the words that had been on repeat in my head for god knows how long.

"I just want to be super honest and upfront with you because last time I was remotely intimate with a woman, I never spoke my mind and I was miserable. Look, I'm kind of still in a weird headspace after my break up but I've been interested in you for a while now and I didn't want you to feel like a rebound so I've been taking it really really slow. Ugh, this is so lame. Can we uh, can we just pretend we never had this conversation? Cool thanks," I laughed, falling back on the bed and groaning.

This was really cringe worthy, I felt like I was a teenager again. Why don't I know how to be suave and navigate my way with women anymore? Fuck I hate this. I'm not usually a stuttering mess around girls, normally I'm pretty charismatic and charming.

Y/N just listened whilst wiping her makeup off with the wipes, responding so casually about this topic. The fact she was so calm made me a lot more relieved that I wasn't fucking it up. That's why I think I was such a dickhead right now, the stakes were high.

Think about it:

1. We are colleagues who work with each other almost every day. If I'm a prick to her, it'll be shit every fucking day on set.

2. We are actually pretty good friends now, I don't want to ruin that and not have her around.

3. We are in a legal obligation to act like a romantic couple for at least another month. We can't hate each other during that.

"No this is a good thing that we're talking about this so early on, we're setting boundaries. But I'm definitely interested in you too just for the record... I didn't want to feel stupid and start falling for a movie star I'm in a legal obligation with whilst he was forced to hang out with me. That's why I got kinda distant for a few weeks, I was trying to get over you before I got in too deep," she laughed, crawling up the bed to pull the covers back and get in.

"Trust me Y/N, I'm not that good of an actor. If I was doing this fake relationship with someone I didn't actually like hanging out with, I wouldn't have invited them to Scotland with my extended family," I laughed.

To be honest, being this open with someone was scary but it felt refreshing to say. When I dated Zendaya, I was always so worried on pushing her further away that I never expressed my feelings out of the fear she'd leave. And if I ever did bring something up, it would end with me feeling ashamed or guilty or just plain dumb.

"So let's just be super honest with each other from now on, speak our minds and just do what normal people do when they're interested in someone. We could um, go on a proper date or something when we get back to London?" I smiled, getting under the covers and wriggling down so my head was on the pillow.

She turned her head to face me, smiling as she nodded.  Her hair was down, her face bare and her eyes tired but still glistening. She was naturally pretty. Being in our room away from the fireplace, it was still pretty chilly, nothing compared to outdoors but we were both wearing multiple layers of clothes to sleep in.

"C'mere," I said stretching my arm out between us to invite her to snuggle up with me in bed; one of my all time favourite feelings in the world. It sounds sappy but feeling someone's heartbeat in a blissful silence was just priceless. No talking, just relaxing with the warmth of another person.

Added points when I'm the one being cuddled. Extra added points when they're playing with my hair gently.

I reached over to turn the lamp by the bed off, making the room dark with only the subtle light from the moon glow through the window. I should probably close the blinds so we don't wake up ridiculously early, but I don't want to get out of bed.

She wriggled over to rest up against me, snuggling her head against me as I put my arm around her. This right here was my confirmation that I hadn't just been a total idiot by blabbering for the past ten minutes, she still didn't think I was a pussy.

As much as I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, I couldn't stop thinking about how Y/N and I had just had a perfectly open conversation about our feelings and it not backfire. Is this how normal relationships work? Or does it only work like this when the person is right for you?

I should've taken that as a red flag with Zendaya, the fact I was scared to open up to her.

"Can I be honest one more time before we sleep?" I whispered, feeling her nod against my chest.

"Granddad Bob didn't beg me to bring you along on this trip. He didn't know about you at all until I asked him if I could invite you."