5/2/2020
there is a seventeen year old who's mind is a tempest a perfect storm of chaos, thunder claps his mind it snaps, his demons rage as he swallows his pain he swallows it deep down below his stomach he tries to speak but his words are flummoxed they come out empty like falling dust they cover each surface upon his heart covered in black soot and rust.
his rage is blinding all he sees is blood he blacks out faintly with fist marks in his walls and a new scar on his skin which had madly sprawled with the dullness of his knife another mistake printed on his canvass of skin staring at him for life, the rest of his life reminding him of the person he killed the scared boy still begging to be free begging to left alone but that boy is no longer me.
that boy is dead he died at fourteen he was beaten and bruised with a knife stuck into his spleen he Cried for hours till his eyes were red he screamed for weeks wishing he was dead then he just faded and he reflected on the people he had neglected, the people he had neglected to show he really did care but he didn't know how to show it so his anger took over while his love was bare but he learned to kill emotions and hide it with a mask he was afraid of what people thought he didn't know it was okay to cry for help to reach out to those close and tell them on the inside he was slowly killing himself.
now that little boy is almost eighteen but on the inside he still a younge teen he's come far from that angry kid but now he just gets mad when people feel what he can't feel because now that kid is numb and haunted by his own monsters he's stuck in a cell made by his own insecurity's and lack of maturity all that boy wanted was to be normal and grow up fast but now all that boy wants is to be happy again and not wish himself a grim death.
deep down he knows he can love because he's found someone who showed him a world he didn't know and sometimes he gets scared but he loves this person more than he could show and sometimes it gets him down but he's gotten further than he realises because he didn't let going from home to home kill him and atleast he's still trying to mend a broken mirror he can't bare to look In because he's afraid he'll realise this person is too good for him so he gets angry and he admits to his mistakes but he doesn't want to be that kid again so he just sits and waits for his demons to take what they always take.
YOU ARE READING
Poetry of a foster kid
PoesiaThis is a collection of poetry I made from ages 15 to 17 it's about mental health and growing up the last few years in foster care it's a journey about maturing as a kid but also learning to grow and deal with my demons in the on going battle of eve...
