Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel

Chapter 12

However, that night, things were rough. As soon as I closed my bedroom door after getting ready for bed, I felt very alone and empty inside. My room seemed so dark and cold, even with the lights on. I crawled into bed, but I couldn't even bring myself to close my eyes. I was so tired, but afraid to fall asleep. The last thing I wanted was to see Logan in my dreams. Just seeing his face drove a wrecking ball through my heart.

In the middle of the night, I got out of bed to lay down the framed pictures of him, so I wouldn't have to look at them. I wasn't anywhere near ready to throw them out. I didn't want to see them, but the thought of throwing them out hurt too much.

I grabbed my phone, and ran into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for a while, looking through everything--my text messages, Facebook, Messenger, everything, just to see if I got any new messages from him. Nothing. I went to my Facebook profile, and changed my relationship status to "Single." Thank goodness Facebook no longer announced to everyone when someone became single, because I really didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I knew what people would say. "Well, he's not worth it." "Move on." "Be strong." "Get over it." "You'll find love when you least expect it." I was in no mood to deal with those invalidating and dismissive bullshit clichés. They would only make me feel worse.

I scrolled through my news feed to try and take my mind off things, see what my friends were up to. Everyone was asleep, though, and there was no one to talk to. All I had were the brief status updates from random people. After that, I had nothing. But, wait. There was YouTube. I opened my YouTube app, and looked for new videos from my favorite YouTubers. I turned the volume down, so I wouldn't disturb my sister. I watched for a while, until my legs were numb from sitting on the toilet for so long. Before getting up, I made sure I didn't have to go anymore. Then, I flushed the toilet, carefully made my way back to my room, and crawled back into bed before the pins and needles kicked in. I lay as still as I could, and let it all pass. Usually, I enjoyed the feeling of pins and needles. I'm very ticklish, and I love being tickled. However, I was in no mood to be tickled, and I was too emotionally exhausted and screwed up.

A few minutes later, Hayley came into my room wearing one of her favorite onesies, a fuzzy pink onesie with a long zipper down the front and a long, curly tail in the back. "Hey, Sweetie," she said sweetly. "You okay?"

"I can't sleep," I sniffled.

"Awww, Honey." She crawled under the covers with me, and wrapped her arm around me.

"I'm so tired," I wept, "but too afraid to fall asleep. I don't wanna see his face in my dreams... or hear his voice."

"Awww, I know, Sweetheart. I know." She hugged me. "You've been up all night?"

I nodded. "I was trying to distract myself, so I could sleep. I feel so alone."

"Awwww." She pulled me close, and held me against her chest. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"I didn't wanna wake you up."

"Oh, Sweetie." She caressed my head, and played with my hair. "If you ever need me, you can always come to me. Even if I'm asleep, you can still come to me."

"Did I wake you up?"

"No. I couldn't sleep, either. I was worried about you."

"Sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything. It just hurts me to see you in so much pain. You're my baby sissy-poo, and I love you so, so much. And, I promise you're not alone. I'm right here, and I won't leave you, ever."

"I'm too scared to go to sleep."

"I know, Sweetie. How about I sing you to sleep, so you'll hear my voice instead of Logan's? I'll even stay here, and sing to you all night."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure, Sweetie. I don't have anywhere to be today, and I'm not really all that tired. I just wanna stay here with you, and make sure you'll be okay."

So, my amazing saint of a sister held me tightly, still caressing my head and backside, and playing with my hair, and she sang to me, until I finally fell asleep. Even after I fell asleep, she kept holding me, loving on me, and singing to me. She kept it up for several hours, until she also fell asleep, still holding me tightly. Thanks to her, I had peaceful dreams, and not once did I see Logan's face, nor did I hear his voice. Instead, I only heard Hayley's voice, and I saw her face. In my dreams, she looked very angelic and soft. Her whole body lit up, and she was dressed in a white version of her pink onesie. I could feel her wrapping her wings around me, and whispering, "Everything will be okay, Sweetheart. I'm here," as she planted a kiss on my forehead, and sang a sweet lullaby to me.

I was still in a great deal of pain, but I knew that, as long as Hayley was there, everything would be okay.