Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel

Chapter 31

When we finished watching the DVD, we went back downstairs, and just sat on the sofa together.

"Oh, so comfy this is, Precious," said Sméagol.

"Yeah," I agreed, "Hayley and I sit here all the time, watch TV, watch movies, or just... talk."

"What do you talk about?"

"Anything. Music... guys... life, everything."

"So nice."

"Yeah, it is nice."

"You lives together, do you?"

"Yep, a few years now. She looks after me. There's things I can't do for myself, like cooking and cleaning and... laundry, and she takes care of that for me."

"Why can't it do it?"

"My disabilities. I can't see well enough to do most of those things, and Autism also makes it a hundred times harder. Some things are too difficult for my brain to grasp. Others are too overwhelming for me."

"Oh, Sméagol understands now."

"Hayley's a saint. She's been taking care of me since we were kids. Our dad died when we were little, so Mom had to raise us on her own. Then, one day, Hayley decided she wanted to help. I don't know what the hell drove her to, but she made Mom's life a lot easier. That, and it helped us get closer. She took her time to understand me, how to communicate with me, all that stuff. I don't know how she never got pissed or annoyed at me. I was a pain in the ass when I was a kid, but she was always so patient with me."

Sméagol smiled. "So nice Hayley is."

"Yeah, she's the best sister ever." I sighed. "I feel so guilty sometimes."

"Why, Precious?"

"She does all this stuff for me while going to work full time, and I can barely do anything to help her. I don't know. A lot of times, I feel like I'm leaching off of her, taking advantage of her, you know?"

"Mustn't feel guilty," Sméagol said sweetly, "Not its fault, Precious. Cheyene did not ask for disabilities."

"Yeah, I know. And, she says she loves taking care of me, but... sometimes, I wonder if she's saying that just to please me, so I won't feel guilty... when the real truth is, I'm a huge burden to her. I mean, she could be doing so many other things with her life right now––going to school for the job of her dreams, getting married, having kids, all that. I sometimes wonder if all that would be the case if it wasn't for me. Plus, it's not just my disabilities she has to deal with. It's my mental health problems, too––depression, anxiety, all that stuff."

"Has it talked to her about these feelings?"

"Yep, and she still insists she's happy."

"Why doesn't it believe her?"

I suddenly began to tear up again. "Because... other people told me this stuff... that I am a burden, leaching off her, and making her miserable..." I began to cry. "And, that she deserves better than to have to carry my load."

Sméagol looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes. "Who tells you that?"

"A lot of people––friends and boyfriends who turned on me, some of her friends, other random people, some of Mom's friends, too. They said I ruined her life, and I'm a horrible person, and she should've thrown me out a long time ago."

"Oh, my poor precious, come here." Sméagol pulled me into another big hug, and held me tightly. "They don't knows Hayley. They don't knows what she feels. No right they have to judge what they don't knows. Very sweet and beautiful and wonderful you are. Not a burden, but a very special person you are. Very, very special with beautiful voice and very, very big heart... and beautiful, gold hair." He gently played with my hair. "So long, so soft, so pretty it is." He kissed my cheek. "Just like Cheyenne." He caressed the back of my head and my backside. "Oh, so much more beautiful than the Precious, much more special."

"God, Sméagol," I sobbed, "you are seriously the sweetest guy I have ever met."

"Awwwww!"

"Sorry I cry so much over everything."

Sméagol smiled sweetly at me. "It's alright, Precious. Doesn't bother Sméagol at all."

"Like I said, I'm a super emotional person."

"Awww, I knows, Precious, and it's beautiful. Shows how big your heart is. Cheyenne feels everything so deeply, she does, and it touches Sméagol's heart."

I smiled at Sméagol through my tears. "You know... besides Hayley, you're the first person to ever say that to me. Most people would tell me I'm too sensitive and too emotional, that I need to grow up already."

"They don't knows Cheyenne. They never tries to know her. Sméagol tries to know her."

"Even though we only met a few hours ago."

"Yes," Sméagol agreed, "but somehow, Sméagol feels like he's known Cheyenne his whole life."