Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel

Chapter 46

After the service, we met up with Pastor Derek in the back of the church. He immediately knew who Sméagol was, as he was also a Lord of the Rings fan, so he already knew his story.

Sméagol told him about his struggles with his remorse, shame, and self hatred.

"Sméagol," said Pastor Derek, "you have to understand how strong the ring's force was. It took immediate power over you the moment Déagol fished it from the river. It took immediate power over both of you."

"Yeah," Hayley agreed, "remember how it made Déagol try to strangle you, too?"

"And, the immediate power it took on Frodo when he tried to throw it in the lava," I added. "It sucked him in, and forced him to put it on."

"We are all sinners," said Pastor Derek, "but your actions under the One Ring's power are not your sins, nor are they Déagol's, and nor are they Frodo's. They are Sauron's sins. You had no choice, nor did you know how to fight against the ring's power. Nobody knew how to fight against it."

"It would take someone who's somehow immune to it to take it from you or Frodo or Déagol," I said, "and throw it into the fire themselves by choice. Otherwise, there was no way it could've been destroyed, unless it was by accident... or maybe if you had an army of people helping you."

"The ring was a heavy burden forced upon you by its creator," said Pastor Derek. "You are not responsible for his actions. He murdered Déagol. He pitted Frodo and Sam against each other, and he took Frodo's finger and his free will. It took away your free will, as well as Isildur's."

"And, his life," I added. "He used the ring to protect himself from the orcs, but the ring betrayed him. So.. the orcs killed him."

Sméagol brushed back tears. "But... how does Sméagol let go of guilt?"

"Turn to God," said Pastor Derek. "Pray. Ask him for guidance. Ask him to help you find the strength and courage to forgive yourself. You've already forgiven those who wronged you."

"Not all of them," said Sméagol. "Still cannot forgives Gollum or Sauron... or the orcses and elveses that hurts me... but I wants to. Very much I wants to, but I don't know how."

"Again, go to God. He understands. He knows your pain, and he will heal you."

"How does Sméagol turn to God?"

"Just talk to him. He's always there. Everywhere you go, he's there. Talk to him as if you were talking to a good friend, because that's what he is, a true friend to us all. He wants you to turn to him. He loves you, and he will listen."

"He loves us all, Sméagol," said Hayley, "even when we screw up, even when we treat each other like garbage, even when we hold onto anger and guilt and resentment. It makes him sad when we do these things, but he always forgives us. He's always there, always, and he never stops loving us. He knows what happened to you, what the ring did to you, and he knows it's not your fault."

"But... what about my family?" Sméagol sniffled. "All my friends? What about Déagol?" he wept. "Does they still hates Sméagol?"

"No," Hayley said, putting her hand on Sméagol's shoulder. "No, Sweetie. They understand now, and they all love you very much." She wrapped her arm around him. "Very, very much, and they are watching you from above. I think that they are very proud of you, because you overcame the ring. You showed your true colors, a truly good man. You've touched people with your musical gift and your kindness. You were never an evil being, never, and if you had a choice, if you knew how to resist the ring, you would've done things differently. If it were all up to you, you would've done the right thing. Your family, they understand that now, because they watched you struggle. They watched you suffer, and they watched you come out on top. And... I know that, if they were given a second chance, if they were given the opportunity to go back to when it all started, they wouldn't have turned on you. They would've helped you." She held him closer. "They don't hate you, Sweetheart. They love you, just like we do."

"And... God loves Sméagol?"

"More than you will ever know."

That night, Sméagol stayed up for a little while, reading about Jesus Christ, his birth, his life, his death on the Cross, his resurrection, and the Holy Spirit. He was truly touched by his story and his unconditional love. As Sméagol lay down to rest, he said a little prayer to God.

"Please help Sméagol," he wept softly. "Please."

Then, he closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.