Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel

Chapter 40

That night, while Hayley and I were sleeping, Sméagol quietly crept downstairs, and tiptoed into the living room. He found the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies, and carried them back upstairs to his room. He popped An Unexpected Journey into his DVD player, and fast forwarded to his part in the movie, where Bilbo Baggins wandered into the cave. As he watched the interaction between him and Bilbo, his heart sank. "Oh, poor Bagginses," he said to himself. "We frightened him." He placed his hand on his heart. "Now, I understands why he took the Precious." He paused the video, and looked at poor Bilbo's frightened face. "Awww, he's not a nasty hobbit. He's good." Then, he watched the Lord of the Rings movies, and his heart sank even more when he saw the part where he attacked Sam. "Don't take it off us," he whispered to himself, referring to the rope Sam had tied him up with.

As he continued watching, he began to truly understand why Sam was so hostile toward him. Sam was only trying to protect Frodo. Frodo was his best friend, and even just the thought of anything happening to him destroyed Sam. Sméagol remembered when I told him earlier that it hurt me seeing him getting hurt. He felt the same about me. That was one reason. The other? Sam was scared of him, because of his addiction to the ring.

He became very sad when he watched The Forbidden Pool scene, not for himself, but for Frodo. "Poor Master," he sniffled. "He did not betray us." He understood that the rangers wanted to kill him for being in their hiding place, but saw that Frodo actually pleaded for his life. He even told the rangers not to hurt him, but they didn't listen. He watched himself get beaten nearly senseless, but felt no anger or resentment towards Frodo, Sam, or even Faramir and his rangers, only towards Gollum and the ring.

He felt even more resentment towards Gollum when he watched himself make a plan with him to kill the hobbits to get the ring back. "What was Sméagol thinking?" he asked himself. "Poor hobbitses did not betray us. They did not deserves to die."

At the very beginning of Return of the King was the scene with him and Déagol. "Déagol," he whispered sadly as he watched him fish out the ring. Then, he watched himself strangling poor Déagol to death to take the ring for himself. He remembered everything that happened after, how he used the ring to turn himself invisible to steal from his loved ones, how his grandmother kicked him out of his home, and how his entire family and all his friends turned on him. He remembered becoming increasingly intolerant to sunlight, moonlight, and hobbit food, driving him into a dark cave in the Misty Mountain.

Watching himself put his plan into action tore him up even more, especially seeing Frodo struggling with the burden of the ring, and Sam always being there to lift his spirits again while trying to protect him from Gollum.

The things he said to try and cover up his plan cut him deeper than a knife. "Why did it do this to nice hobbitses?" Then came the scene where he threw the lembas bread over the ledge, and blamed it on Sam, trying once again to convince Frodo that Sam wanted the ring for himself. When Sam broke down sobbing after Frodo told him to go home, Sméagol broke down sobbing, too. "What have I done?" Then, he watched Shelob bite Frodo, Frodo fall unconscious, and nearly dying. It was all too much for Sméagol to take, but he kept watching. He wanted to fully understand the error of his ways, and why people hated him so much.

Soon, Sméagol was watching the dreaded Mount Doom scene where Gollum hit Sam in the back with a stone, and nearly choked Frodo to death, telling Frodo that Sméagol's promise was all a lie. "It wasn't a lie," Sméagol mumbled angrily. "It wasn't a lie, you bastard. Sméagol wanted to help nice hobbitses." Then, he watched as the ring finally took power over Frodo, forcing him to claim it as his own. "No, Master," he said sadly. His heart shattered when he saw Gollum bite off Frodo's finger to get it back, and completely lost himself in an ocean of sobs and tears as he watched himself plummeting into the lava.

After he finished watching the movies, he put them all back in their boxes, and carried them back downstairs, putting them exactly where he found them. He went back to his room, closed the door, and crawled into bed, sobbing his poor heart out.

"I understands now," he said softly. "Nice hobbitses did not betray me. Bagginses was not a nasty hobbit. Only trying to survive, he was... or we would've eaten him. Why did we even think to do such a thing to poor Bagginses?" Tears continued falling as he talked it all through. "Sam was not a horrid, fat hobbit. He was kind, only trying to protect Master. He hates Sméagol... because Sméagol tried to kill them both... all for a stupid ring." He hid his face in his hands, sobbing quietly. "Sméagol forgives precious hobbitses. No, nothing there was to forgive. Hobbitses did nothing wrong. It was all Sméagol's fault. Why did I listen to Gollum? Why did I hurts precious hobbitses?" His sobbing deepened. "Sméagol never forgive himself, never." He tried to regain his composure, and folded his hands in prayer. "But, Sméagol try to be good to everyone now, help everyone he can, be as kind as he can to people. Sméagol doesn't wants reward from it. Only wants people to be happy... and feel loved." He began to cry again. "Sméagol do it for Déagol." He put his hands on his heart again, sobbing heavily. "Oh, Déagol, I'm so sorry, my precious friend. Sméagol still loves you so, so much." He looked out his window, and noticed the sky lighting up. It was morning, but he was far too tired to get out of bed. He curled up in his dark green onesie, and cried himself to sleep.