Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel

Chapter 64

A few minutes later, I woke up, still wrapped in Sméagol's arms, legs, and fuzzy tail. I opened my eyes, and looked up to see him smiling at me with tears still falling from his eyes.

"Hi," he greeted happily. "Hi, Precious." He kissed my cheek. "How's my baby?"

"Tired. Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital, Sweetie."

I turned to see Hayley standing by my other side.

"How's my baby sissy-poo?" she asked sweetly.

"Really sleepy," I said groggily.

"Yeah, they gave you a sedative."

"What happened?" I was so confused, no recollection of my suicide attempt, not at the moment.

"You took an overdose. They pumped your stomach, cleaned you out, made sure everything's okay."

"Oh, shit." Everything suddenly came back to me all at once––being kept awake by the memories of past abandonments, bullies, and horrible things said to me, trying desperately to silence it all, and of course, my suicide attempt. The last thing I remember is shoving the pills in my mouth, and washing them down with water. The last thing I remember thinking was, "Wait... but I wanna be with Sméagol."

"Sméagol was the one who found you on the kitchen floor. He called for an ambulance. Sweetie, he saved your life."

"I..." I suddenly felt very ashamed. "Um... are... you mad at me?"

"No." Hayley bent over, and gave me a hug. "No, Sweetie, no. I'm not mad at you at all. Why would you think that?"

"Because, I caused you so much trouble..." I sniffled, "again."

"Awww, Honey. You never, ever cause me any trouble. You never have, and you never will." She hugged me tighter. "Awww, I know you think you're a burden to me. I understand why you feel that way. People tell you that all the time, that you're a burden to them."

"And, people have even told me I'm a burden to you, too, and that I ruined your life."

"I know. God, I know, and that makes me so angry, not at you."

"Sometimes, I wonder what your life would be like if I didn't rely on you so much, if I wasn't... disabled... or if I didn't exist. I wonder if you'd be happier."

"Awwww, Sweetie. Listen to me. I am happy. Okay? You bring me more joy and happiness than anything ever could. People think that, if I wasn't your 'caregiver,' I'd have gone to school, gotten a 'better career,' gotten married, and had kids by now, and I'd be much happier."

"That's what I thought, too."

"But, that's not true, Baby. First of all, I love my job at the music store. It pays well, and I truly enjoy it. And, taking care of you is my dream. Why do you think I started taking care of you so young? I was the one who decided to. Mom didn't make me do it. I made that choice on my own, because I wanted it." She kissed my cheek. "I was so happy when Mom told me I was gonna have a baby sister. I almost felt like you were my baby, too. I remember the first time I held you in my arms. You were so beautiful, the most adorable baby I'd ever seen. I looked into those precious little eyes, and thought, 'This is my baby sister. She's my whole world.' Baby, I have never regretted my decision. I love taking care of you, and I have loved every minute of it. It is my dream, and I swear on all the soft, fluffy sweaters in the world that I am not saying this just to please you. You are everything to me, and if I ever do get married, my hubby better love you as much as I do. Otherwise, I won't marry him. No man is worth losing the most precious thing in my life. You are a gift from God, and I love you so, so much."

"I love you, too, Hayley," I wept. "You're the best sister ever."

"So are you, Baby," Hayley sobbed, hugging me tighter again and kissing my cheek.