Painted Faces - the masks people wear

Psalm 91

I was led to read Psalm 91 a few months ago now by the Lord, as mentioned in a previous chapter. To read only that, every day, as it is meant for me in the time I find myself living.

Putting it as a personal prayer/ conversation between me and my Abba, it reads as follows:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my shelter and my

Fortress,

My God, in whom I trust."

Surely He will save me from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover me with his feathers,

And under His wings I will find refuge;

His faithfulness will be my shield and

Rampart.

I will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness

nor the plague that destroys at midday

A thousand may fall at my side,

ten thousand at my right hand,

but it will not come near me.

I will only observe with my eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

If I make the Most high my dwelling –

even the Lord, who is my refuge –

then no harm will befall me,

no disaster will come near my tent.

For He will command his angels concerning me

to guard me in all of my ways;

they will lift me up in their hands,

so that I will not strike my foot against a

stone.

I will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

I will trample the great lion and the

serpent.

"Because she loves me," says the Lord, "I will

rescue her;

I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.

She will call upon me, and I will answer her;

I will be with her in trouble,

I will deliver her and honour her.

With long life will I satisfy her

and show her my salvation"

    The promises and comfort found in this Psalm have become my lifeline. I read it aloud every day - usually after waking and again before going to sleep. All my needs are met here, if I will but trust in these promises from the Lord whom I love. Even today I felt the old feeling of drowning in tears, sorrow and despair – but He whispered to me:

Come write, tell me of Psalm 91...

And yes, it breathes life and hope into me once more.

    Do you see what I see? We can rest in the shelter of His wings. He will save us from every enemy and disaster. He promises to place his angels to watch and stand guard over us in all our ways, so that we can't even bruise our foot on a stone. No harm will befall us.

We will trample, or have victory, over the lion and cobra, great lion, and serpent – so every demon and even the devil himself.

And then comes His final promise and blessing because we know and acknowledge His name –

He will protect us,

Rescue us

Answer when we call on His name

Be with us in times of trouble or heartache

Deliver us and honour us – so not only will He deliver us from harm, our own mistakes and the evil one, but He will honour us.

He will satisfy us with long life, and we will see His salvation – so because we acknowledge Him and are faithful to Him He has a reward for us, a blessing of long life and receiving or seeing His blessing.

   Now I don't know about you, but long life doesn't sound like much of a blessing unless you have hope, a purpose and joyful peace. Using the phrase satisfy with rather than just granting long life to me indicates that this will not be a wretched state of being. We will be content, joyful even.

   Throughout my journey I have longed desperately for each one of these promises (well maybe not the long life!).

In leading me to this Psalm and instructing me to cling to it each day, even though some days even that is hard, He is teaching and comforting me. Reassuring me that He knew my needs even before I was born, that He has an answer for all of them. 

Himself. 

He will personally meet all my needs, so long as I know and am willing to run to Him and find refuge under His wings. He does not trivialise them, belittle the pain I experience or the threats that can come at me. He just hears my heart and provides His solution. He provided this Psalm for me - and you – because He knows we will face difficulties and heartaches in this broken world we live in. He anticipates, like every good father, our every need.

Protection is something I have longed for, looked for in all places, all faces, for as long as I can remember. I just didn't always recognise it. Only as a very small child do I have memories of carefree abandon, a knowing that I was safe. Fear attached itself to me at a young age; I remember my fear of growing up – and away from the protection of my parents. Leaving home filled me with dread, and I was sure that as an adult I would not be as valued or loved by my father because, well, I would no longer be his little girl. In a way anorexia denied the obvious, that I was indeed growing up. I was little, looked very young for my years and deliberately halted most of the physiological signs of maturing. 

The image of hiding, seeking refuge, under His wings is therefore such a powerful one for me.

   A mother hen will gather her chicks under her wings in times of danger and completely hide them from the predator. Her wing feathers are soft underneath and will provide comfort and warmth. The wings of a bird are perhaps the strongest part of them and likewise, under His wings we are protected and can feel His strength. There is safety there like there is nowhere else.

   I think back to when, as a little girl, my father's arms around me felt so safe and reassuring. I felt loved, accepted and wanted. Unconditionally.

   But the image of hiding under His wings, rather than enveloped in his arms, is different again. It evokes the soft, tender fierceness of a mother hen; you are not only safe, the enemy can't even see you, can't find or know you're even there. His protection and compassion is complete.

   I find as I am obedient and re read this Psalm and explore it as He instructs today, I am indeed lifted up. The power of despair is released and hope and peace can return.

My Abba holds me safe, fiercely eyeballs every threat as I hide under His wings and forces it away.