Painted Faces - the masks people wear

Two very different friends...

        There are two hooks on the wall. I have been standing here for too long, unable to relax or sit, my wrists bolted somehow to these hooks. Periodically I hear them move towards me again but I never know what form the next attack will take. The first time they did this I was terrified, shook so much my knees buckled under me. "Stand up!" My legs were roughly pulled apart. I have no control. It's all been taken from me. I can't lash out as my arms are pinned apart, slightly higher than my shoulders with little give or movement possible. All I can do is numb my brain, force myself away, inside, somewhere else. This too will end.

     I am reminded by my Abba of Jesus on the cross. His arms were stretched wide also, nailed to make Him harmless and trapped. But what they didn't know, the people that did that to Him, was that He was never harmless or  trapped. Had He chosen, with one word He could have slayed them all. Broken the cross, walked away. But for you and me, He chose not to.

   Back then I couldn't walk away. They did have control and power over my body, but never of my soul and spirit. I was a child, I knew no other way to cope, so my mind retreated. I numbed my thoughts so that my experience was locked away. I lived it in that room to a point, but whenever I left, it was as if it had never happened. Outwardly I became withdrawn, less able to trust others with friendship and eventually anorexic and depressed, but never understood why. My mind played a trick on me, but Jesus always knew. Was that His doing? I don't know for sure, but I do know my faith in Him never wavered. He is good, so therefore could never have chosen that path for me. I am grateful to be here today and am sure my faith in Jesus has much to do with that.

Your faith and the way you choose to approach your Saviour has much to do with outcomes in your life and beyond.

   By example, let us consider two biblical people – you will know them well. Judas Iscariot and the Apostle Peter. Both found themselves in a difficult situation of which they were not proud. One chose to run to Jesus, the other did not. Which one would you be? We all have a choice when we fail or let someone down – run to God, or away from Him.

    Judas was in charge of the disciple's finances. He had a clear vision of where Jesus' ministry was leading: the overthrow of Rome and a new kingdom for Israel, free from bondage to both Pharisees and Rome and with a new conqueror/king. He thought he could "help" Jesus along, as all this was taking far too long for his liking. Force the issue. So he struck a bargain with the Sanhedrin. Thirty pieces of silver – a token amount really, this was not what it was all about – to deliver Jesus into their hands. Then Jesus would have to show His power, show His hand. He would probably be grateful to Judas in the end for bringing everything to a head. How completely wrong and misguided he was! He really did play his part in these events, just not the part he thought he was playing. Jesus' betrayal had been prophesied hundreds of years earlier by David in Psalm 41:9 ("my close friend, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me") and was needed to fulfil prophecy and place Jesus on the path to our redemption. Judas' destiny if you will was to be that man. He realized too late what he had done and who Jesus really was and regretted his actions, returning the silver and throwing it at the feet of the High Priest.

   This is where he made the mistake that would determine his place in eternity. He chose to run from God rather than to Him. I believe his first real knowledge of Jesus as our Saviour and the son of God was in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he betrayed his master. The shock of that realization must have been immense, and he no longer wanted any part of that betrayal. What he missed, however, was God's mercy, His heart. You see he was never pre-ordained to be the "bad guy", with no hope of redemption. That was never in God's plan. Had he chosen to call out to Jesus for forgiveness, fallen at God's feet and poured out his heart in repentance he would never have been lost and forsaken.

   Did he do that? No, sadly he did not. Probably like many of us he thought his actions were beyond forgiveness. Shame, fear and anguish instead led him to a lonely tree where he hung himself. And Satan won.

You see Jesus' sacrifice was for all of us. Period. No exceptions.

   Have you hurt someone you love? Betrayed someone? Done something you are ashamed of? Had something done to you that surely must make you too unclean for hope? Or is pride stopping you from falling at your Saviour's feet? Now that's an interesting one.

I knew an elderly woman once, dying of cancer and desperate for a cure – looking everywhere for a miracle. Everywhere that is except where she might have found one. She was offered prayer for healing and asked if she wanted to turn to Jesus for help. Her answer? "I couldn't possibly be such a hypocrite. All my life I have ignored Him, even though as a child I went to church. How can I turn to Him now just because I'm in need?" Nothing we said could change her thinking. I think it seemed noble and right to her. She died not long after with no miracle healing and sadly no reconciliation with Jesus.

Don't let misguided pride stand in the way of all God has for you.

Now we have Peter.

    He was exuberant, loud in his proclamations of faith and support even if that meant him dying with Jesus. In truth, he did try to defend Jesus when the guards came to arrest Him, cutting off the ear of one guard in his zeal. Jesus' response? To heal the guard and rebuke Peter – "if you live by the sword you will die by the sword". Jesus predicted that Peter would deny Him not once but three times before the rooster crowed. And he did. Didn't mean to I'm sure and was devastated when he realized Jesus was right as he heard the rooster crow. He ran, but not before he saw the compassion in Jesus eyes as He was being led away. He hid while Jesus was crucified – remember he was not one of those at the cross – no doubt full of shame, self-disgust and reproach. But he didn't allow it to conquer him. He knew Jesus enough to know he could run to Him with his pain, repent and be forgiven. In so doing he became the rock Jesus built His church on. Isn't that something? He learned a valuable lesson and Jesus knew he would be able to use it in his ministry. Instead of insurmountable sin it became a stepping-stone to reach the lost. Because in this life we will make mistakes, but by turning to Jesus He can use even them for good.

   Another interesting point is Satan's part in these two men's stories. With Judas, it is stated in Luke 22:3 that "Satan entered into Judas", implying possession. With Peter, however, Satan had requested permission to "sift him" (Luke 22:31). It gives us the impression that maybe Judas didn't yet "belong" to Jesus while Peter did. I say this because Satan asked permission to "sift" Peter, while no permission seems to have been requested for him to enter Judas. In another example in scripture, Satan petitions God for permission to "sift" Job, whose heart clearly belonged to the Father. Yet he seems to just assume he has authority to "enter" or possess Judas. "Sifting" to me implies tempting or separating in order to bring out a preferred response or action. He has no ability in this to force the outcome, while by entering Judas he is in control, if only temporarily. Afterwards, Satan's plans accomplished, he leaves Judas again and Judas' eyes are opened to the reality of his actions.

Which friend will you be? We all mess up, but will you run back to Jesus in repentance - or will your pride or self-loathing mean you run the other way, as fast as you can?