i'll never be a poet

love me not

he loves me. pluck.
he loves me not. pluck.
he loves me. pluck.
he loved me not. pluck.
i pull each eyelash from my sweating lids, urchinous spines i swallow and stick into the pincushion of my throbbing heart.
when i am bald at the waterline and my tears run dry,
and i've lost count of whether he loves me not,
i'll spit out my heart: a globe of prickly goop
melting in rot and pussing at the punctures
glistening plump pimples ripen at the sticking point, my beautiful pearls of my inside-out mussel heart
i pluck them from the stem of black needle and blow the fluff off each dry dandelion
wishing upon every fallen star, little angel sprites
float to the meadow of your full head of raven hair
seed in, sprout out
a coronet of roses and thorns that you may never remove.

a melting gooey rosebush belly, mine
red light spills through the flesh webbing, breaks
open, launches out, fingers of tendon and tissue
lace curling in a vortex to the murky unseen stars
each    string    flays    out
i want you, i want you, i want you !
roiling ball of iron and magma in my stomach
quakes and shakes, it can't
decide what it wants to draw in
from the meadow bounty of swimming twinkles in the fake sky
on my ceiling

child,
you're looking for love in the dark
stretching your blood vessels across the universe
running your aching tips over everything and nothing

I am everything.

they love you / not
I love you forever