V. Anger

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It's been a month since I saw Lady Jisoo

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It's been a month since I saw Lady Jisoo.
Mr. Williams took care of her all this time without saying a word to me. Mr. Park usually goes to her room once or twice a week. 'Why not me?'

Today it's the day I need to know if she's okay. I took my attire and went to the kitchen. Mr. Williams already had Jisoo's breakfast without saying a thing I took the plate off of his hands and ran towards Jisoo's room. I can hear Mr. Williams calling my name but I couldn't care less.

Here I am in front of her room. All night I dreamed of this moment but I can't move a muscle. I was standing there unavailable to move a finger 'come on,just one step'
I cleared my throat and knocked on her door
She didn't answer
I knocked again but nothing
'Fuck it' I thought
I opened the door and she was there, staring at the window, she didn't notice my presence so I stepped forward
"Lady Jisoo" I said her name softly. She looked at me but didn't say a word. She wasn't surprised just like she knew it was me since the beginning

"Here's your breakfast" I said putting the plate on the table "We can't eat together today since Mr. Williams only had your breakfast ready" I continued

'Please answer me'

She started eating quietly all I can hear are the utensils on her plate. Her eyes are fixed on her food. 'Maybe she's tired but her silence is killing me'

"Lady Jisoo I was worried about you but you seem to be fine" I said sitting in front of her.

'Why don't you look at me?'

"Today the weather it's nice when you get better we can go outside for a walk" I paused "I'll make sure you're—" She stopped eating and interrupted my words.

"I finished you can go" she said coldly

'Did I do something wrong?'

I couldn't articulate words I was surprised. She had never been like this before. She's always warm and smiling but now I can't even steal a glare from her.

I took her plate and walked towards the door. My heart hurts I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to know if she's okay. But after all this time she's only ignoring me. I took a deep breath and thought 'I'll try tomorrow maybe she needs time'
I opened the door and my eyes widened.

  I took a deep breath and thought 'I'll try tomorrow maybe she needs time'I opened the door and my eyes widened

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Mr. Park was waiting outside. He gave me a mischievous grin and whispered to my ear
"She doesn't need you, peasant" he turned his back from me and went inside her room. I fisted my hand, rage flowed through me like lava 'After all I'm just a peasant.'

I started to run to my cabin. 'I'm leaving' I thought

All the smiles. Your hugs. Your honey voice. Your warm touch. All it's a lie. You were bored and used me as a toy.
I was too naive to think that we were friends. Why did you ignore me? A month, a month passed, and all you couldn't even look at me. But If I was like Mr. Park maybe things would be different, right?

While packing my few belongings I heard a familiar voice "Are you leaving?" Mr. Williams asked me I felt like a stab of anger 'Does he even care?'
"Yes I'm leaving" I replied to him without looking
"Lady Jisoo will feel sad if you leave young man" he said to me. 'Sad? What a joke'
"She'll be fine, she has Mr. Park after all" I answered him my irritation already crackled 'I don't want to hear more lies.'

"Listen" he said sitting on my mattress "My lady only wanted to protect you, she told me that you know her secret" I was immobilized by his words, color quickly drained from my face 'He knows.' He continued "That's why she's scared, scared of you leaving just like you're doing at this moment" 'Scared? Maybe she's only scared of me revealing her secret'

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone about her secret" I concluded while I closed my suitcase "I will go back to my hometown" Mr. Williams stood in front of my door looking at me with sorrow "Here" he said lending me an old book "If you want to leave after reading this I won't stop you" he left my cabin and I just stood there with a book in my hands.

Luckily I can read. One of the nuns in the orphanage taught me because I was curious. I couldn't go to school but I wanted to be like the other kids. 'This old man doesn't understand' I thought to myself.

I was about to throw the book through the window but I noticed it was rare and interesting. It has irregular edges, tanned pages, and some brown spots caused by humidity. 'He told me to read this, huh? Just one page and then I'm leaving'.

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Dear diary...

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