IX. Broken

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Silence filled the room and only our breath can be heard

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Silence filled the room and only our breath can be heard. Her darting eyes avoid my face. I made my confession knowing the result but I don't know why still hurts. Her silence hurts.

I move closer but she flinched at my action. I took a deep breath and finally broke the silence.
"I know I'm not from a royal family and I know that I'm different from you" I said caressing her cheek
"But I promise I will never leave you, I promise that—"
"Stop" she interrupted me "Please don't say anything" she replied finally facing me

I was confused at her reaction but I get it. I was naive to think she would feel the same way.

"Forget what I just said" I told her
"Taehyung..." she replied to me taking my hand "I'm different from you...  what you feel at this moment is ephemeral but I'll live a thousand years and I can't handle a heavy emotion like love"
"I don't think it's ephemeral how can you know that" I answered annoyed by her response, I forgot about it, in fact, I never thought about her not being a human.
"It is... that's how human feelings works" she said coming closer "You can wake up one day and feel nothing but our feelings are heavier and permanent so please... stop" she pleaded

I was speechless. It's true someday I'll die and she'll be alone again. But why can't I accept it? Maybe I'm being selfish but I want her to accept my feelings. I want to be by her side until my last breath.

"We should go" she said taking a step back but like a reflex, I grabbed her wrist
"Don't go" I said with a shaky voice "I have never felt this before, please don't push me away"
"I'm sorry" she replied softly "I wish I could correspond your feelings... but it's something impossible" suddenly she hugged me tightly I can feel her breath on my neck "Taehyung..." she whispered in my ear "I need you to leave tomorrow morning" that was her last sentence

She looked at me one last time. I wasn't able to articulate words. I feel like my world is falling apart.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked her on the verge of crying "You told me we are friends, you promise me—" my knees gave up on me and I fell to the floor "My poor soul" she said bending herself down toward my face "I know you can't understan...

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"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked her on the verge of crying "You told me we are friends, you promise me—" my knees gave up on me and I fell to the floor
"My poor soul" she said bending herself down toward my face "I know you can't understand me but It will be better this way, you have to trust me I have lived a thousand years" she faked a small smile

At this point, I'm already crying my heart out. Of course I can't have what I wanted but I don't want to lose her. Is this how love a first sight feels like?
I felt her embrace as she tries to console me.

"Maybe if I were different... I would have no hesitation to give you my whole heart" she whispered. I saw the tears coming down to her face. Her words were genuine. Her feelings were strong. She's in pain.
"Jisoo..."  I tried to wipe her tears but suddenly I felt something soft on my forehead

She kissed me. It was a sad kiss. It was a meaningful kiss. It was a goodbye kiss...

And just like that everything went black.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

The faint chirping of birds woke me up. The sun is peeking through my window. I can feel the warmth of the golden rays on my face I recognize the smell of the flowers.

As I opened my eyes I realized that I'm in my old house. How much time has passed? I went opened the door and I can feel the cold and gentle breeze.

"You finally woke up!" A nun said to me in a worried tone

'What is she talking about?'

"The kids of the orphanage were worried about you" she continued as she gave me bread "You need to eat to stay healthy"
"Uhm mother?" I replied to her confused "What am I doing here?"
"Oh? Don't you remember? You came back from the work you told us about"  she said to me

'Work? I left for work?'

"How much time?" I asked her dumbfounded
"What do you mean? You left the town for months but you finally came back last week" she replied

'I can't remember anything'

"I have to leave" she said "Please come to the church today thanks to your donation we bought food and clothes for the kids" she smiled at walked away

I went inside my house. A heavy headache is hitting me like a train. I feel like I've been sleeping for years.
And I don't know why my heart feels heavy, a huge sadness and sorrow are consuming me.
Suddenly the tears started to flow on my face without a reason...

I feel like I lost something...no, I feel like I lost someone.

no, I feel like I lost someone

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