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Her glossy eyes and her trembling lips told me everything I needed to know. She was shocked and didn't say a word, she stood there with a blank face.
"You asked me if I remember everything" I said coming closer to her "Well, I do" I continued "I remember every second we spent together" "But that's—" "Impossible?" I interrupted her words "Yes, you're just..." suddenly she went quiet "I'm just a human" I completed her sentence "Is that what you wanted to say?"
She bite her bottom lip and didn't say anything.
"I'm still a human if that's your concern" her eyes widened "Then how..." "I think I owe you an explanation" I said calmly "Back then when you kicked me out of the palace...my heart was aching so bad" I took a deep breath "For years I tried to live a normal life, but deep inside I knew something was missing" I continued looking straight into her eyes "Do you know what it was?" "I don't..." "Wrong" I replied "You know better than anyone... because you were the one who took away the happiest memories of my life without my permission"
She started to cry nonstop. I wanted to hold her in my arms but I can't, I have to be strong.
"That's why I started my journey. I left my town and wander around, looking for my missing piece"
I couldn't hold it anymore, I went closer to her and wiped her tears.
"Years passed and I got sick. No one helped me or looked after me, I was alone. But when the time came, with my last breath, I pleaded to the odds to find the unknown thing I was looking for" I smiled sarcastically "And they heard me" "What do you mean?" She finally broke her silence "Just like you, I have lived hundreds of lives" I continued "I do die like a normal human and after some years I am reborn in a new life" "I've never heard a such thing" she interrupted in denial "Then why am I here in front of you?" I replied "When I reincarnate, I don't remember who I was until a certain age. Usually when I turn 25 all the memories of all my past lives hit like a truck" I laughed ironically "Even the ones you stole from me...It's a never-ending circle"
The tears invaded my eyes.
"Maybe now I can understand how you feel...I've seen my loved ones die every time, I've had to wait for my death knowing I have to live again and it hurts" I paused "But that's not the worst thing" I continued "The worst thing it's that in each life I've had... I've looked for you" "Taehyung..." she tried to hold my hand "Don't do it" I said taking a step back "After a long time, I finally found you. I had to pretend that we were strangers but all I wanted was to be close to you. Even if I was afraid that you would push me away from you again" "But I didn't Taehyung" she answered me coming closer "And that's the problem. You apologized to me without knowing if it was the real me, you have been lovely and you even gave me a chance to be in your life, why now?" I asked her "Back then I was selfish I thought that you would probably move on and forget me" "All you did was give me pain" My words left my mouth like arrows, "You thought you'll have another chance without thinking about what you did to me" I swallowed "That's why I played your game" "I'm not playing any game... I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you, but this time it's different... this time I want to do things right for both of us" "You don't know how badly I wanted to hear that words" I said to her "But not this time. This time I want to end this loop, Kim Jisoo"
Her eyes showed me fear.
"Hopefully now that I found you, my heart will be at peace" I told her "All of this happened to me because you decided what was best for us without asking me" I took a deep breath "I'm cursed because of you and now you will live your infinite life knowing it" I finished before leaving the room.
I can hear her sobbing as I walk away. I have to fight against the urge of getting back to her and hug her and tell her everything will be okay.
"I'm sorry Jisoo" I said under my breath while the tears started to flow down my face. "I'm the one choosing this time"
I felt like a huge burden had been lifted but for some reason, I'm still feeling a deep sadness.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
A week passed and she didn't show up at college. Maybe she moved and started a new life far away, well... I don't care, I shouldn't be thinking about her.
The lecture started and to my surprise, Jisoo appeared. She's wearing a cap, she's trying to hide her face. She looks so pale, even more than usual, and thin, did she lose weight? All the attention went to her and... it's that Yoongi? Why is she holding his hand?
They sat together and she never let go of his arm. Unconsciously I stared at her the whole hour. Meanwhile, she didn't look at me, not even once.
The class is over and guess what... Jisoo left with Yoongi. She ignored my presence all day long and only talked to him. It was just a week and she forgot about us already?
It's not like I expected anything else after our last encounter.
Finally, I found Yoongi alone and I went close to him. "Hey" I said to him, he immediately glared at me and replied with a cold tone "What's up" he said "I didn't know you and Jisoo were friends" I told him without thinking 'What am I doing?' He went silent for a moment.
"For her sake, stay away" he answered me before walking away. I wasn't able to say a word.
This is what I wanted, right? I wanted to end our story once and for all... right? I wanted to be free...
Right?
Then why I'm feeling like...
He's trying to take what's mine.
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