Give Me Back Whats Mine ➳ David Dobrik

Chapter Twenty Six ➳ The Space Between Each Second

NATALIE

The ocean of caps and gowns around me was almost enough to induce a panic attack.

Besides the sheer size of the graduating group in front of me – hundreds as far as the eye could see – there was a melancholy that bubbled up inside me. A sorrow for a life not lived.

This could have been me. But instead, I followed David to LA.

He always liked to tell the story differently. And not that he was wrong, it was just his version of our shared narrative.

My version was slightly different.

David always said that his first year in Los Angeles was spent trying to convince me to move.

'It felt like I spent the space between each minute trying to convince her to ditch school.'

The space between each minute. I always loved it when he said that.

And he did. He asked all the time.

'Natty, I really, really need your help.'

But my reality was this. Yes, David had spent the space between each minute trying to get me to move to LA, but I'd spent the space between each second hating myself for every mile I'd put between us.

And so, he continued to ask, and I continued to play coy. Because the thing was, I did like college, I liked learning, and I was making friends, but every second of silence was painful because there was no peace. We hadn't lived apart from the moment he moved to town, and my body recoiled against the wrongness of it.

Summer vacation rolled around, my first year of college done, and I showed up at his door.

'Well, if it isn't Natalina Mariduena.' He'd grinned, his head leant against the door frame. 'Come to stay for the Summer?'

'Summer, yes.' I started, looking bashfully at the space between our feet. 'And then Fall, and maybe Spring, and then probably Summer again.'

If there was ever a moment to bottle, that would have been it. His face in that moment was a memory I kept tucked close to my heart.

I could never look back at that decision and see it as a mistake.

But like I said, amidst the swirling sea of nearly graduates, the tassels on each of their caps eagerly awaiting to finally and forever be perched on the left, it was hard not to feel panicked.

I left college. I never graduated.

The words looped over and over in my head, carrying me away to the land of what if?

I knew that I'd found success in other ways, but amongst all these people, it all just felt superficial, nothing as tangible as a diploma being put in my hands.

Fletchers warm hand tugged on mine. 'Where are you right now?' He whispered in my ear.

We'd been milling around with some of his friends and fellow graduates, waiting for the ceremony to start.

'Sorry.' I smiled up at him, not knowing how to explain, or even if I wanted to. 'Just tired. Big week.'

He smiled down at me in response, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

It had been a big week. For all of us. And I couldn't believe this was how we were ending it.

This was a Saturday graduating ceremony.

Monday felt like it happened a lifetime ago.

'I think we'll give you guys some space.' Taylor had said, looking frantically at David to follow her out of the room. He didn't move a muscle.