Faked for you

Chapter twelve

Miles POV.

I waited. I waited and waited but she never came back downstairs to figure things out. Maybe she was sleeping or packing to leave. Either one would suck but I'd prefer if she'd stay. God I didn't think she was feeling it too, that feeling of wanting every bit of me the way I wanted her. I wasn't sure what it was at first but now I know. Now I know that I want to love Ellie with every bit of what I can give but my fucked up relationship with Natalie ruined that for me. I can't love Ellie not because I love Natalie but because I can't go through that again, my brain knows Ellie would never do that to me but my heart doesn't. It's hard and it does hurt. I hate putting that pain on Ellie but I can't do it.

I walked upstairs thirty minutes later to give her time to cool off and when I opened the spare bedroom door she was holding herself in a ball
on the floor asleep. she look sos peaceful and innocent like she was an angel.

I scooped her up in my arms and started walking towards my bedroom when her arms unhooked from my neck and her eyes fluttered open looking around before meeting my eyes.

"Shhh...go back to sleep, sunshine" I whisper as she nods licking her lips and laying back on my chest while I carry her to my bed. Okay she doesn't hate me enough to push me away from her unless she didn't even realise what was going on. I'm going with the first option, She doesn't hate me.

As I lay her under my covers I considered putting her comfy clothes on instead of this dress but I know that would make her uncomfortable knowing I saw her half naked. I tossed my shirt off and laid beside her, I threw my arm over her waist and pulled her into my chest. Not for her but for me. She smells amazing and fuck I sleep so much better like this. I want this forever but I'm terrified.

That next morning I woke up and Ellie wasn't cuddled up against me anymore. She was on the floor throwing her clothes in her purple suitcase. I stared at her for a few seconds before she looked up and her face went soft. We were staring at each other for awhile until she finally broke the silence.

"Morning" she sighs going back to packing.

"What are you doing?" I ask ignoring her fake happy self. She's upset with me and I know that but she's pretending she's not.

"I want to go home, Please just take me back home" she stands up pulling the handle out from her suitcase and grabs her phone from my charger and waits for me to say something.

"Okay"

after getting dressed and getting my things packed up Ellie waited in my truck while I said goodbye to my mom. I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen between me and Ellie, but I do know I hurt her and I knew I would in the end. Why couldn't I have done this with some bitchy ugly girl who only cares about her fame? Oh right because Ellie locked my eyes on her and my dumb ass couldn't keep myself away from those gorgeous ocean blue eyes and that warm, kind smile I'm falling for anyway. I hated people who always smiled and was unaware of how attractive they were because I knew they were just faking it. Nobody could be that happy and nobody could be that attractive and not know it, that's what I thought until I met Ellie.

"Mom, I'm gonna take off and get Ellie home" I sigh as my mom folds up a blanket from the couch.

"Alright hon" he kisses my cheek and I walk away but I can't even make it out the door before she says "Miles, if you let that amazing woman slip through your fingers for some stupid game or whatever it is she's upset about then it will destroy you. I have never ever seen you so happy" I nod, She's right. I've never been this happy and that's exactly why this hurts so fucking much.

"I know mom, I'm trying" I say before closing the door behind me.

I can see a future with Ellie. I can but I'm terrified to go through with it. You know, trusting someone you love so much and being scared of such heartbreak you can't even breath.

God I want this girl more then I've ever wanted anything more in my life and it only hit me last night when she allowed herself to trust me. She smiled at me when I laid my hand on her thigh and she didn't even flinch, I saw her smile to herself when I did and then her leg stopped shaking. I knew she was happy with me and after the day with her I wanted that day to last forever. I wanted to die if it meant staying in that moment when Ellie counted the ducks in the water on that damn bridge, when she had ice cream on her lips for so long and I teased her about where it was or when she simply breathed while smiling at me I wanted her. I wanted to touch her, kiss her and hold her, But instead I hurt her.

The whole hour back to Ellie's apartment was long and silent. I wished Ellie would tell me what she was thinking half of the drive and the other half of the drive I imagined what it would feel like to promise her that I was hers fully. The thing about that is it's all a dream, eventually I will wake up and realise I can't, but for Ellie... I could.

I pulled into her parking lot and she just smiled at me avoiding eye contact before grabbing her suitcase and leaving. I watched her get out and walk inside hoping she'd turn around but she didn't. I drove away and spent ten days without talking to Ellie.

Ten whole days. No texting, no good morning or good night text, nothing. I wanted to die the past ten days of no Ellie. I didn't see one person smile as much or as beautiful as Ellie did.

Day one I contemplated calling her or sending her a text but once it was typed I backed out. Day two I went to the gym for practically eight hours and that did help the anger built up but still, I didn't feel what I felt with Ellie. Day three I ate cereal all three meals and went to practice feeling sore from the day before. Day four I stayed home and tried imagining Ellie laying on my chest while we were both naked but that only turned me on. Day five I fixed the problem from the previous day when I had gotten turned on by Ellie and it made me feel relief for about five seconds before I felt.. sad? It sucked. Day six I stayed home again and decided to get off my ass and research how to buy my own land, it was confusing as hell so I took a nap. Day seven I tried getting that five seconds of relief again but it didn't help, it only made me feel lonely. Day eight was the worst, I slept on the couch until one and my back was killing me but that didn't stop me from working my ass off at the gym. Day nine I pressed call on Ellie's number probably five times but before it probably even went through I hung up.

Day ten, I got up and put on my nicest clothes before I drove to Ellie's apartment. I knocked on the door but nobody answered. Some lady came out from the apartment next door and gave me a weird look so I asked her "hello, do you know if the girl who lives here is home?" She laughed at me like I was crazy.

"No she got kicked out about a week ago and I guess she's living with her friend in the apartment down the street" she rolled her eyes before locking her door. God damn why is she so rude? Wait did she say Ellie got kicked out? Fuck I could have helped her but my dumb ass laid around for nine days without asking if she was okay.

"Do you know the apartment number?"

"No" she scuffs, Before I can even say thank you she's waking away.

At least I know the building. There's only one other apartment building around here and it's right down the street. I could look at the names on the mailboxes to see where her friend who's name is I think Lilianna or Anna.

I knocked on probably thirty different apartment rooms at that damn building and half of them were old junky's and the other half was older couples. I got to the 31st room and when I knocked on the door there she was. Ellie was standing there in her favourite hoodie and shorts. I love when she wears those shorts because her legs are my favourite part of her body. Even if she were to stop shaving every other day I would still love them. Ellie didn't even looked shocked I was there, she looked tired and drained. Maybe she had just woken up?

"How did you find me?" She sighs.

"Well I knocked on everyone's door until I found you" I tried to get her to smile but no luck.