Faked for you

Chapter twenty

Miles POV.

I sat on the bed while Ellie got dressed the fastest I've ever seen her get dressed before. I just fucked her and she didn't even come. She didn't enjoy it and neither did I. I simply did it because I couldn't stop crying like a baby. I'm still crying so it didn't even work and right now all I can think about is Ellie. I lied to her for five months about my past. I never told her that I had a whole other life before her and if she had done that to me I would be pissed and probably screaming at her right now but she's too kind to do that. She held me while I cried and while I fucked her for a distraction, She put aside her pain to help mine. On top of that I basically just fucking used her body.

"Ellie... I'm so sorry" I whisper as she runs around looking for her purse. "Please don't leave"

"Miles stop! Don't touch me, don't look at me and don't even say my name" she snapped before returning to pacing for her purse. I should have listened to her but I didn't.

"Ellie I'm so sorry for lying to you and fuck if I could go back I would but I can't! I didn't know she would show up here and try to start things with you and I know that doesn't make it better but you can't go... I love you so much" I grab her waist and get back on my knees. This woman literally has me on her knees for her. God I'm going to loose her. Please don't take her from me.

"Miles I don't know how to.. how do I even come back from this? It's back and forth with us too much and I can't even count how many times I've cried over you" she puts her hands on my head and runs her hands through my hair. I don't need to look at her to know she's crying because it's all in her voice. "I get that you're hurt... but the moment you bought that land before telling me about her, you messed up"

"I know.. I didn't know how much I loved you back then. Ellie I will do anything for you and I don't know how to show you that" I kiss her jeans over her legs while she sniffles still running her fingers through my hair.

"I know you would Miles... I know that. I love you too but how am I supposed to know this is the last time I cry over you? Each time it hurts more and more even when I didn't know it was possible and I can't do it anymore" she pushes me away and I stand up running my hand over the back of my neck feeling how sweaty I am.

"Okay.. I understand" I sigh "will you come back?"

"I don't know, just... kiss me" she steps closer as another tear falls down my cheek "please... kiss me, Miles" I lean forward holding her so tight in my arms while I take every inch of her I can get in praying it's not the last time. She is my better place and I fucked it up.

Once she was gone I looked around my apartment and everything reminded me of her. Everything that might have smelt the slightest bit good she probably smelled better. Everything that was beautiful she was definitely so much more beautiful. Everything in this fucking place is just a reminder of her. I grabber my keys and ran down to the parking lot and saw Natalie crying.

I walked over to her and wiped my eyes nice more just to make sure no more tears were left over on my face. Once she saw me she smiled but wiped it off her face when she noticed how upset I was. Our entire conversation earlier was me yelling at her to get out of here because my girlfriend was there and she just kept saying she wanted to talk to me but I ignored her so here's her chance.

"Hey" she sighed.

"Talk" I nod crossing my arms.

"Okay, me and well I'm single now and Ben... that's what I named him, he is with his father this weekend because I needed to see you" she sniffed and took a deep breath "I miss you Miles, and i know we aren't getting back together but I just came here to apologize"

"You didn't have to come all the way here to say some shit you probably don't even mean! I loved you with my entire heart! I'm not talking about having attention or fucking you or young love, I'm talking about real the real fucking I-would-die-for-you love"

"I know..."

"But during that time... I wasn't there for you like I should have been and I didn't treat you the way you should have been treated. I wasn't a good fiancé and it took me a long time to admit that I was shitty back then. We were young and stupid so, I forgive you" I nod giving her a genuine smile. Sure what she did was horrible but she and I both knew we weren't perfect and before she got pregnant we would fight every night and most nights I would leave her alone in our bedroom, some nights I would even come back wasted and so yeah I blame myself for half of what happened between us.

"Thank you Miles" she smiled.

"I really do wish you a lifetime of happiness and I hope you find a man who treats you better then I did" she nods before getting in her car.

I drove for almost an hour before deciding to go see my mom. I'm going to tell her everything but first I'm deleting every social media shit so I never have to deal with that again.

When I pulled into my moms driveway she was waiting there already crying. Every time I bring up Natalie she cries and mostly because she dreamed of being a grandmother for so long and she spent those nine months the same way I did. She bought grandma things to put around her house and even made baby blankets. I'm not sure if it hurt her or me worse but i think me and her both thought now that Ellie was apart of my life she would truly get to experience the entire grandma thing. I already miss Ellie and it hasn't even been a day.