Gone Girl 2

Chapter 36

Three months later

Ironic enough, Felix was arrested a week after Derek left Atlanta.

I should have been happier, but I wasn't. I cried every day once I realized Derek wouldn't be coming back and the worst part is that he blames himself as much as I blame myself. He doesn't want to be with me because he is sure he isn't good enough, that he could never protect me and that he ruined my life.

He can't understand that my life was ruined before it even began.

He thinks he did the best thing he could do when he left me, us. But it hurt me more, knowing that he had constant nightmares about me dying, knowing that he feels so fucking alone and he hates himself, he blames himself when it's not even his fault.

It's already March and I haven't heard from him since that night. Neither have Shanice and Dominic. I desperately tried to find him, to get his address in his parents' city, but I couldn't find anything.

I laugh when I think about what I told him. That I would move on and that I hoped it would him worse than he hurt me. That night he recalled everything and he told me what he really thought in that moment.

What I don't laugh about is his response:

"I deserve that and worse."

~

The tip of the knife grazes against my skin and I shudder.

"Please, don't do it, please," I beg him to rethink his decision but I know what's going to come.

Derek looks at me hopelessly and defeated, his hands tied behind his back.

The ugly man raises his knife and the world stops. Everything is in slow motion and I don't see anything other than Derek's horrified face as he realizes that I'm about to get stabbed to death and he can't help me.

The time fastens and the man turns his gaze from me and without any remorse, stabs Derek in the chest.

I scream.

Over and over again, he keeps stabbing until there is nothing left to stab.

I yell at him to stop, I beg him. I offer him to torture me instead but I know it's too late.

And I'm next.

I wake up screaming and crying, my whole body covered in a cold sweat. Someone turns on the lights and I can't stop shaking.

Nicole is saying something to me but I can't understand her. I can't breathe.

Veronica, breathe, a voice says.

How do I breathe? I raise my chest, I try to just breathe in but I can't. The world is sucked out of air and I know I'm having a panic attack.

Everything darkens and I pray I don't go back there.

When I wake up again, I know it was just a nightmare. A stupid traumatic nightmare. This is nothing new. I've never stopped having them and they always feel so real.

The worst part is that I feel like it's my intuition that something bad is going to happen. The more Derek stays away from me the more I fear for his life. I know he must be fine, I know he can take care of himself but I have this weird gut feeling that something horrible will happen to him.