Sick | BTS ✓

24

Right as I reach the door to the infirmary, I feel a hand grasp my shoulder gently.

I turn around and come face to face with Dr. Kim.

"May I have a word, Clara?" He asks politely.

I hesitate, moving my eyes back to the door.

"Please," he adds.

I sigh and nod, gesturing for him to lead the way.

Once we get to his office, he takes his seat behind his desk and I take one of the seats in front of him.

"What?" I ask as soon as I sit down.

"First order of business: you are being released today," he explains.

I nod. "Okay. Can I go see Jin now?"

"Sign these," he says as he hands me a stack of papers.

I quickly sign them and hand them back. "Can I go?"

"Clara..." Dr. Kim says, sighing. "Jin assigned you as his emergency contact when he was readmitted, therefore allowing you access to his medical information."

"Okay..." I say, frowning slightly. "So you can tell me what happened?"

He nods. "Jin's parents were found dead in their apartment early this morning. They both overdosed."

My heart stops.

"When he was told what happened, he had a breakdown and had to be sedated. He went down harder than expected and he hit his head on the way down, which is why he is in the infirmary instead of his room. Just a small cut on his forehead, didn't even need stitches. But we put him in the infirmary to watch for a concussion," Dr. Kim says.

"I need to see him," I say, immediately standing up to leave.

"Clara," Dr. Kim says. "Do you remember when you were readmitted and we told Jin to let you be alone so you could learn how to be strong on your own?"

My heart aches because I know what he's about to say. But I slowly sit back down and lock my gaze on his.

"You want me to leave him alone," I say.

He nods. "He needs this, Clara. He needs to learn how to be strong on his own like you did."

Tears fall down my face, and I quickly wipe them away.

"Of course I'll do it," I say, nodding my head as more tears fall. "Will you be able to give me updates on his condition?"

"Yes," he says, smiling softly. "This will be good for him. Do you remember how empowered and self assured you felt after learning to stand on your own?"

I nod.

I do remember.

It was hell at first being without my soulmate, but I learned to not only be strong on my own, but I also learned to treat Jin as he's always deserved.

Not as a crutch. But as a man I love and adore with every part of myself.

I know how badly he needed me, but he stayed away because he knew I needed that.

So I will do this for him. I will let him discover his inner strength on his own because that's what he did for me.

And it was the greatest gift he could've ever given me.

"He'll be okay. He just needs time," Dr. Kim assures me.

"I know," I say, smiling through the tears. "He's Jin. My Jin. He'll pull through this and come out the other side. And I'll be waiting for him when he does."

Dr. Kim smiles. "You've come such a long way, Clara. Look where you were when you first came here as opposed to now. You're a whole new person."

I smile back at him. "Not a new person. Just a better version of who I've always been."

He nods proudly. "So what's in your future now?"

I think for a few moments.

"I'm going to close my bank account that my parents deposit money into," I say.

"Why?"

"A part of me kept it because it's all I have left connecting me to my parents. But I don't need that connection anymore. I've accepted their opinion of me and I've decided that I'm done letting them control me like this. I'm strong enough to be able to support myself now, and that's what I will do."

"How would you like to support yourself?" Dr. Kim asks, folding his hands together on his desk.

"I want to help people like me. I want to show them that it is possible to get better even when the voices tell you it's not."

"I have a gift for you," he says as he reaches underneath his desk and pulls out a small wooden box.

He hands it to me and I tentatively take it, placing it in my lap before opening the lid and what I see makes me tear up.

The leather gloves Jin got me.

"Those are a symbol, Clara. A symbol of how far you've come from the beginning of your journey. And they're also a symbol that proves that you were never alone, even when you felt that you were. Because the person who gave you those gloves always cared for you and always wanted to see you become who you are today."

"Thank you," I whisper as I gently rub my fingers over the soft black leather.

I bite my lip, desperately trying to hold back the flood of emotions running through my mind.

I blink a few times and slowly move my head up so I'm looking at Dr. Kim again.

"Can I write him a letter?" I ask. "And you can give it to him when he's ready for it."

He thinks for a moment.

"Okay," he nods.

He grabs a few pieces of paper and a pen and slides it across his desk to me.

"I have some patients to check on. I'll leave you to it. Just leave it on my desk when you are done. You're free to go after that," he says. "It's been a pleasure watching you grow and evolve into who you are today, Clara."

I nod gratefully as he exits his office, leaving me alone with my overflowing emotions.

I lean forward and grasp the pen in my hand, and I begin to write everything I need him to know.