Sick | BTS ✓

6

It's been a week since the incident.

I stayed in the infirmary for two days before I was released back to my room and therapy schedule.

Jin visited me in the infirmary, even though he got in trouble for skipping his one on one therapy sessions to see me.

I scolded him as well, but as I've come to understand, this man is stubborn.

But more than that, he is selfless.

He never talks about himself. He asks me about my day. About my pain. About me. But when I ask about him, he laughs and makes a bad joke that never fails to make me laugh with him.

He has a nice laugh.

"Earth To Clara Bear," Jin snaps his fingers in my face.

"Huh?" I ask, frowning at him when I see that he has food smeared on his chin.

I sigh and hand him a napkin. "You're such a child."

"How's your hand, by the way? It's been a week," he asks, pointing to my right hand, covered in the leather glove and laying carefully on my lap.

"It's fine. It wasn't that bad of a burn since it was only hot tap water," I shrug, tired of talking about it.

I can't help but feel embarrassed and ashamed of what I did to myself.

"Stop it," Jin says, frowning.

I look at him, eyebrow raised.

"It's obvious that you're upset about all of it still. The look on your face gives it away."

"I'm fine."

He scoffs. "I've known you for a week, Clara Bear. I'm learning all of your facial expressions. And the one you're making right now is telling me that you're ashamed of yourself, but you shouldn't be."

I sigh in frustration. "Exactly. You've known me for only a week. Why do you feel this need to help me? You're here for a reason too, right? You should be helping yourself. You matter too, you know."

He laughs as he always does when I try to talk about him. "That's just how I am. I help others and I put others before me. Some call it a problem, but I've never thought of it that way. I deal with my issues with my therapists and when I am alone."

"But you're not allowed to be alone."

Jin freezes, shifting his eyes to his empty tray. "How do you know that?"

"I'm noticing things about you as well."

"Let's get to group therapy, Clara Bear. I really want to finally introduce you to my friends," he clears his throat as he stands and takes both of our trays and I follow behind him as he puts them away.

"I've told you to stop calling me that. I'm 24 years old. Not a child."

"And I've told you that you're awful at fixing your hair. Now we're both bad listeners."

"Jin!" I groan, my gloved hands shooting up to my black hair, smoothing it down as he giggles.

"I'm kidding. Hurry up or we're gonna be late. You walk so slow!"

I trail behind him and scoff. "Your legs are twice as long as mine. I have to basically run to keep up with you."

"That's not my problem, Clara Bear."

**********

"I'll see you all tomorrow," Dr. Lee says, smiling politely before she stands and exits the room.

All of us stand up at the same time, some of them leaving immediately, while two guys drift over to where Jin and I are standing in the room.

"Ah!" Jin exclaims, smiling brightly at the two men. "Guys, this is my new friend, Clara Bear!"

I scowl at him before rolling my eyes. "Just Clara."

"Hello, Just Clara. I'm Jimin," he smiles.

The other man snorts in laughter. "That is a horribly overused joke."

"You're just mad that I said it before you got the chance to," Jimin smirks.

The second man rolls his eyes. "I'm Yoongi."

He holds his hand out for a second before pulling it back, biting his bottom lip. "Sorry. I forgot for a second."

I smile politely at them both. "It's nice to meet you both, even if we are meeting in a psychiatric hospital."

Jimin smiles brightly. "Adorable."

Yoongi nods in agreement, smiling softly.

"My friends like you, Clara Bear!" Jin exclaims. "Imagine how fun this is going to be with four of us playing card games now."

"You're weird and I'm leaving now," I smile before walking to the door, pulling it open with my gloved hand and walking out into the hallway.

I blink a few times before realization sinks in.

I just opened a door with my hand.

I know my hand has a glove on it, but still...

I did it.

And I'm not even freaking out.

Doorknobs have always been a struggle for me, knowing how many dirty hands touch them during the day.

Not even covering my hand would rid myself of the gnawing anxiety surrounding the simple task of touching a doorknob.

Something some people never give a second thought to is something that makes me feel relentlessly broken because it was always something I couldn't just do. Not normally.

But I just did it. And it was normal.

Normal. Normal. Normal.

"I'm proud of you," I hear a quiet voice behind me and I turn to see Jin smiling down at me with his arms crossed across his chest.

I smile, tears forming in my eyes.

Tears of happiness.

"I really just did that, didn't I?" I whisper as his smile grows wider.

"You did."

I smile so brightly, my cheeks begin to hurt. But I don't care.

I took a step forward. All on my own. Nobody asked me to. Nobody forced me to. I just did it. So naturally, like I'm just a normal human being.

Normal. Normal. Normal.

I close my eyes, my tears falling down my cheeks in the process.

"I think this calls for a celebration, Clara Bear! We'll build an extra extravagant house out of cards today."

I laugh as I open my eyes and see Jin still watching me.

"Again, you're weird."

He sighs, his smile not leaving his glowing face. "I like seeing you happy."