His Lifeline | [2] ✔️

12. Euphoria

L U C A S

As I stand here leaning into Aiden touch as he washes the both of us with the shower products that i brought with me as i knew that i was going to shower after football but i didn't again.

I stare at the wall as i just try to memorize every single second of what we both had just done minutes prior. I want to relive it but i don't want to at the same time as I'm really really scared. Even though his hands our touching me, I'm not feeling that much braver this time knowing that my lustful state was gone and I am now back to my self but more shier.

I never felt like this before for a boy so it's really hard to accept that i may be gay? but there is different types on sexuality's that i am going to explore later when i am alone but i don't want to be at the same time as i will probably go through a panic attack and leave Aiden. Just like i always do when we clash together.

"What are you thinking so deeply about, baby?" Aiden whispers to me as I snap away from my thoughts turning to look up at him. He sees the tears in my eyes and instantly brings his hands up cupping my cheeks, kissing them away. "Cub why are you crying"

"I- I'm scared, Aiden" I mumbled as I look into his eyes that holds fondness and concern for me. Is this what feeling cared for feels like? Other than my family, Lyn never looked sincere.

"about what?" he whispers.

"What do I do now that i know this about myself?" I muttered, as he wipes away another fallen tear.

"that's up to you baby, I will help you to introduce you to this part of yourself, okay?" he smiles as i nod my head looking down but he didn't let me as he grabs my chin making me stare up at him into his eyes that i always seem to get lost in. "Don't do that, i promise cub i will help you just to be open to let yourself be you again" he says, leaning in kissing me on the lips.

I smile against his lips until something struck to me making me to pull away as he raises a brow, "fuck what about Lyn" i gasped, shaking my head. Fuck this is a totally different level than kissing, eye contacts and touches. He fucked me. I let him. It felt good. Lyn used to make me feel that good but not anymore i felt sparks and fireworks just like i always wanted.

"Don't worry about that just yet, okay?" he says, rubbing my cheek. "It will take some time. You need to be comfortable with yourself before you go off and decide what you want with her or not..." he pauses as he tenses as if speaking about Lyn makes him sick for some unknown reason.

If only he knew what Lyn had against Aiden.

"Even if i have to wait I will, I know your scared I was like you once it will get better." He said seriously as i nod my head as he kisses my forehead as the water still falls down our bodies cleaning ourselves from our... session?

"Did you have anybody" I whispered against him as he strokes my back in circles.

"Only my mother she supports me but my dad..." he trails off as i feel him tense looking away as if he is replaying a memory. But the look is gone before i could bring it up even though i wouldn't, i would let him tell me when he is ready.

"I'm sorry" I said as he give me a tight timid smile shaking his head.

"Don't worry about me I don't care what he thinks. I'm proud of who I am and so will you one day" He smiles. "If you want, this can continue to stay between us for now, okay cub?" He suggested as i nod shyly feeling bad that i am keeping us quite but I need to do this for myself and figure out what I am. He smiles as i give him a small one as he leans in for a kiss on my lips, more gentle this time.

I am really terrified of what my future may hold but with Aiden's strong arms wrapped around me with my head in the crook of his neck as his reasurring voice helps to calm down my built up nerves.