His Lifeline | [2] ✔️

6. Boy talks

L U C A S
24th September, 2021

Two weeks has past since that day with Aiden and i haven't stopped thinking about how he made me feel. It was both euphoric and ecstatic that i have been craving more of him everyday i see him in the corridors but of course me being a coward and stubborn i turn the other direction to avoid this tension i have with him. I think about him twenty four seven and its killing me inside that i really want my best friend like that but i can't help it.

Im enchanted by the way he dominate's me into submissive just by doing some actions. I want to go up to him and punch him so hard that he can't breathe because that's what i felt when he touched me in places that lit me up on fire. I felt the shocks that i used to feel at the start of my relationship with Lyn but not anymore but Aiden he brought them back inside of me like fireworks in seconds.

I haven't slept one good night sleep in almost two weeks because of this matter. I lay awake right now in the middle of the night as i stare up at the stars on my ceiling that i have had since i was child; Amelie loved the stars.

I feel disgusted that i am literally stroking myself while i think about Aiden but am counting every single star on that ceiling. I can't help it. But at least im not thinking about my sister while stroking then that would be a huge problem.

Aiden. Aiden. Aiden.

I want his touch on me. I feel his hands roaming my body as i pant and moan his name.

Over the last few days i came to terms with myself that i am neither gay or Bi from buzzfeed sources online. So i have labelled myself AidenSexual and only for him. I looked at porn videos and lets just say that i was half turned on half not as imagined myself and Aiden in those videos so i was turned on by my own sexual fantasy about Aiden and the not turned on part was watching them dudes.

So Aidensexual i guess?

I sigh taking my hand out of my boxer briefs as i close my eyes taking deep breaths. If i think about him anymore i might explode. I pull the covers off from me as the cold air hits my skin making a shiver to crawl down my back. I walk over to my dresser drawer pulling out a pair of black sweat pants and a grey hoodie.

I walk over to my computer, opening it up going straight on to google. My hands type on there and I have no clue why I am doing this but I might as well if this helps me figure out what I am?

'How do you know if you like someone?"

My eyes wonder over the multiple links that comes up when I typed that. I know they always say never to read on what you see on the internet as it can always be wrong but it's google, google wouldn't lie plus if it was Wikipedia,m. That is a completely different story.

I would have talked with someone like my brothers but this feels way to private just to blurt out. Right?

'Everything feels more exciting. You start to like the things they like (even if you used to hate it)'

The nicknames. I hated all the childish nicknames he had given over the years but I've learned to accept them but now they make my insides feel weak and shit.

'You're thinking is focused on every little thing about them from the way they collect themselves to the way that they smell so good.'

The way his eyes seem to lighten up when I am around or the way his lips curl into that dazzling smirk. Or when he was so close to me rubbing my lower lip with his thumb to stop me from biting on it.

'You get jealous easy because you're afraid someone else will steal them away'

Jealous?! I am certainly am not jealous of my best friend but for some unknown reason my stomach intends to do summersaults when he talks to someone else that isn't me. Is that jealousy? No it couldn't be.