His Lifeline | [2] ✔️

18. Powerless

T H I R D P E R S O N
Friday 22nd October, 2021

Here's the thing: Nightmares. Scary son of bitches, right? The freaky thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind but the severe nightmares is what happened to you in real life. The memory or the nightmare would morph into something horrifying that you can't tell if you are living it or that your dreaming it but nightmares are dreams too.

The worst nightmare Lucas ever witness is when you experience the tragic nightmare with your eyes wide awake.

All his life he would hide away his emotions. he would pretend that everything is okay when truly its not. he would go about his day with a smile on his face, he didn't show people that he was hurting in the inside when honestly he was hurting badly. He's lived for the past ten to eleven years with this pain and morose inside of him. He watched his twin sister get pulled from her slumber as she squirms from the persons arms only to realise its her mother. Their mother.

The worst thing about nightmares is that you thought you have control over your mind. Of all the other things you choose in your life, you don't really get to choose what your nightmares are even if you even tried. You don't pick them, they pick you and that's the underlying meaning that your body has no control over what they want. He thought we had our own choice over our body?

Our mind is corrupted but its the most powerful organ in our body that helps us send signals to our body parts to voluntary move on our own but when were asleep are mind has a way of its own.

Lucas is still trying to understand why the universe would grasp the people with the most awareness have the greatest nightmares.

Probably because he witness a nightmare before he even fully knew what a nightmare was - except the monster underneath the bed or in the closet. But really you have to live day in and out that you must live with the knowledge that your own mind is working against you in your times of vulnerability even in sleep, the nightmares in your head are frighten for the very same reason Lucas is, everyone believes they should not be there in the first place.

They aren't real. They shouldn't be.

Nightmares like Lucas father said come from the eyes when he was little after the incident. You see the nightmare. When you sleep your mind corrupts what you see and turn it into something more sinister. Lucas has watched his little sister being taken in different situations in his mind because of what it brings to you.

His mind and everyone's is a murderous adversary, an enemy under your own skin and nothing is quite so terrifying.

So within his green eyes he's witnessed and felt such severe discomfort. Never in his life did he ever thought he would be here, chained to the wall of his crazy now ex possessive girlfriend and her older brothers that he had picked up on over the several days he's been here.

Never have he dealt with anything more difficult and torment in his life than his own soul. His own inflicted nightmares of what happened as a child but this is way worse - worse throbbing pain he's been through even he can't believe him being torture is worse that his own twin sister being taken away from him.

The thought of that makes a twinge in his heart for ever thinking like that but wouldn't anyone in his situation? Believe this torture is worse that your sister's kidnapping? He starts to feel disgusted with himself with the thought of that.

Even in times like these, he likes the darkness when he is in this room alone at night. Where he is free from the world for couple of hours. Healing from the day before. The night sky and the quiet of the room is what he find's comfort in. For some unknown reason he always look out side seeing the shine of the moon in the distance, no stars but he knows it's fake.

Lyn created a fake atmosphere for him to think that thing is the actual moon but he knows it's not real. He is in the bloody sewers for god sake.

But for some unknown reason he would like to think its the moon, and for a reason that he is unsure of is that someone is watching the moon with him even if its fake.

Unbeknownst to him that Amelie somewhere out there is watching the sky with the same pain that her twin brother is going through, both feeling like they can't hold on anymore.

They both like the darkness as well but not the darkness in life but at night where there is no colour of things that seem to appear. There's something about the unknown, the quiet and the cold. There's something unspoken about the dark, something they can never quite place into actual words or form the sentence. Something terrifying yet beautiful that brings out into their darkness they live amongst but the current darkness of the night is what helps them move on.

Helps them and anyone else in their place to hold on, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that they would hopefully one day be saved.

These demons we live with neither quiet nor loud. They never silenced, calm as they may be but they wait vigorous to the moment they can strike.

The nightmare Lucas living now is the devil playing with the torch, while the heavens are holding the halo over Lucas to protect the child of god from his own very troublesome son.

Because one day very closely soon, the nightmares of Lucas past and present will be gone and the 'if' in Life is what he is holding on to just as Hell is in Hello. Both words different but similar when 'Hello' to the world while 'If' i ever be free of this torture.

Never ending cycle of nightmares that not only the Lucas and his sister but everyone being tormented by the allurement of darkness, even the purest of hearts go through the dorment.

Living with the nightmare is worse than the mind, only those who intend to bypass the nightmare in mind is when they know that the darkness in their life is existing and is closing in.

Trust in yourself that you will get past the nightmares, you have people to help you and is looking out for you - that is what Lucas is holding on to.

While Lucas looks at the fake moon and the fake darkness outside, he holds on to that light. That he can make it and that he won't crawl into the darkness, fall back into the lightness that he knows all to well as that can be the path that reaches him back on to his lifeline.

*****

Not really a chapter but more like what Lucas is thinking and what nightmares in real can inflict. Some parts may be confusing but if you look along the lines you'll soon, realise that you have people there to help you. Lucas is trying to hold that as long as he could.

UNEDITED.