Forbidden Love [Komi Shouko x Fem!reader]

Silent Suffering

TW: mentions of abuse, self harming, and neglect. i wouldn't recommend reading this chapter if you are sensitive to these topics. 

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     words can't explain how much pain i am experiencing. my father drinking beer and throwing the empty bottles at me while the shattered glass pierces my skin severely. it hurts even more than the cuts i do in my arms myself. and mother on the other hand, is smoking cigarettes and cheating on my father with someone else. i wouldn't blame her for cheating but that smoke irritates my lungs and doesn't allow me to breathe. though i dont mind the idea of not breathing.

       i tried several attempts of ending my life but it never worked, not even the gods don't want me. my parents dont feed me anymore nor let me go outside. so i guess you can say im skinny. though they only let me go outside if its only to go to school. which is the Itan private high school. several of talented students go there and known for its academic presence. out of all the students that are there, there's one that stands out beautifully. her name is Komi Shoko. her silky yet soft purple hair, her soft lips, her body shape, her purple eyes that remind me of never ending gardens of lavender and lilac, her soft skin, her sweet scent,  she is so... pretty. every single student is in love with Komi even though she rarely talks.

         she never talked in fact. but everyone still loves her the way she is. it's like the gods made her with love and care while they made me with regret and endless suffering. i have a crush on her. of course. who wouldn't like the view of Komi shoko? though, i doubt she knows i exist. i sit next to her where the walkway is. and a guy named Tadano Hitohito sits next to her. its funny how everyone in the class despites him just because he's sitting right next to komi. i can't help it but giggle a little. she makes me smile and makes my day better when its at its lowest.  its like the gods made her to make me feel better. she sometimes stares at me when she has the chance. my heart flutters every single time she does. so i pretend not to notice it so she wont turn back. its like she maybe, just maybe, might have a slight crush on me. oh but i wish that were true.

      i want to be her friend, but i'm too nervous to talk to her, i get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about her. it makes my stomach hurt but i dont mind it. when everyone left to go somewhere else, Komi and Tadano were talking. well it was mostly Tadano and Najimi. a childhood friend. they have so many friends i can't even count. they have an impressive lack of communication skills. i'm still surprised till this day. i didn't pay much attention to their conversation since i was drawing until i heard Najimi Osana calling out my name. "L/n-SANNN! CAN YOU COME OVER HERE PLEASE???"

    i jumped a little causing my pencil to fall. i picked it up, closed my drawing journal and came their way. "what is it now Osana-san, do you need something?" i said. "yes i do in fact. so We were wondering if you wanted to be komi's friend!" they said happily.  komi just trembled and is anxious for my answer. "i- um.. s-sure." i said blushing a little. i can feel the stares around me piercing through my back and heard slight murmurs but some were out loud like "why would someone like them hang out with a goddess like komi-san?" but i ignored it because all of the classmates here are just crazy simps just like Yamai Ren. bleh even thinking about her gives me the chills. 

   "Great! because no wasn't an option hehe" Najimi said. Komi in the other hand was shocked and happy. she couldn't wait to know me better. tadano was just happy overall, proud of Komi-san on gaining a friend. they invited me to their conversation, i got to know everyone a little bit. and i introduced myself because Osana was forcing me to do so. "im Y/n L/n. i-i like art and like to read. my favorite hobby is playing new songs in instruments and singing. there Osana-san are you happy now." i said sarcastically "yes indeed i am. >:)" they said. "oh yeah L/n-san! how's it going so far? are you still in the abusi-"

     i cut them off by covering their mouth "don't say a word. and it's going just fine. im just tired of doing the same thing everyday." i said sharply. Osana tensed up so did Komi san and Tadano. i removed my hand from osanas mouth. "phew. i guess your the same as always L/n-san, hehe. how are your parents by the way?" Osana said 

"there doing ok. there leaving somewhere for job reasons so i'm going to have my house all by myself for a few months." "Ooo! would you mind if we come to your house today? i want to see how your house looks like again!" Osana said "Uhh, Najimi-san i dont think thats a good idea to come to their house all of a sudden-" Tadano said politely  "i wouldn't mind at all. but can we reschedule for tomorrow? my parents are leaving today and it's going to be a mess if we go now." and the house is a mess and glass is everywhere along with the smell of cigars. i thought.  

"Aww alright then! but when tomorrow comes, i won't hesitate to knock on your door!" they said proudly. i kinda laugh it off and said "okay then. and i won't hesitate to let y'all in."  i looked at Komi-san and Tadano-Kun and smiled. and i swear i saw Komi-san had a small blush on her face when i laughed. am i on something rn? or was it just me. but they smiled back in return and continued to chat afterwards. 


BONUS: "hey L/N-san? what were you drawing anyway when you were at your desk? you looked so focused!" Osana said "Oh. its nothin important." after i said that najimi took my drawing journal in a blink of an eye "you sureee? then you wouldn't mind us lookin at ittt!" "Wait!-" he turned to the page i was drawing on and on there they saw a  blackish purplish cat sitting on a stone wall while looking at a forest in the distance. everyone was amazed and so was Komi. she wrote on her journal "Your drawing looks amazing L/N-san.  the cat looks so pretty." i blushed in embarrassment "really? thanks Komi-san! i-i never got a compliment about my art before haha..." "how do you do it L/N -san?" Osana said "with blood and tears, and a few broken bones" "WHAAAAT???" Tadano and osana said in shock.  komi was just trembling and looks like shes about to cry. komi wrote in her journal "is that how art works? that sounds painful. but are you serious??" she wrote down "nope i was just joking." i said while i laughed a little. but they all sighed in relief.

[1230 words]