Forbidden Love [Komi Shouko x Fem!reader]

Helpless Sickening

[sorry for the delay, state testing sucks and me as a californian have to deal with the caaspp testing, not to mention the kids who blast the headphone testing music out loud. they scare the shit out of me 😟]

i was sound asleep, the silence was immaculate and i can hear the birds chirping. i woke up on my behalf and saw komi sleeping soundly, though i noticed she was cuddling me. her face was in my chest, i can hear her breathing, slow and steady, she was hugging my waist....of course i didn't move i just laid there blushing like a weirdo. without thinking i kissed her on her forehead. what was i doing, why did i kiss her that's rude without asking, what's wrong with me, i overthinked my decision and just blushed a lot right until i see a pair of lavender eyes staring at me with a surprised look "um...g-good morning shouko, did you s-sleep well?" i said in a morning voice nervously, praying that she didn't see me. she blushed so hard, sat up and shook her head "so you didnt?" i say confused, she still repeatedly shook her head "shouko??, your head is going to fall off!" i sat up and cupped her face "calm down kitty, geez" i remark while laughing, then i stroked her hair, it was soft as always. she gave me another surprised look but this time a little bit calmer though she was blushing even harder. "there...all better." i remark as i sigh, "oh my your face is red and warm, do you have a fever?" i remarked , while i went even more closer to komi's face. "n-no.." she said under her breath. "hmm...okay just checking!" i remove my hands from her face and my body away from her.  "anyways i think you should get going now, i mean your parents might get worried" komi realized and her imaginary cat ears popped up. Then she got up and fixed her uniform, grabbed her stuff, and was ready to go. "Oh shouko, hold on I got something" I stood up and made my way to my room, to the closet. I picked a Grey hoodie and ran back down to komi herself. "Here. It's cold outside and I rather kill myself than let my own friend die out in the cold" komi stared at me like if i was a ghost. but she refused and told me she was fine, but i eventually persuade her to wear it. she looked....cute.  we got ready and i walked her home, and i met her parents a little, they're nice i wish i had parents like hers. mine hadn't came back in a few months, i'm sure they didn't forget about me....did they..?

tw: mentions of SH

nah im sure they didn't. after saying my goodbyes to komi's family i left their residence and walked home all the way to mine. i head inside, closed the door, and started to clean up the place a little, then i started to think 'huh...it been so long since the last time i've harmed myself. i guessed i stopped doing it because of her....ugh the urge is getting to me....damn it i can't do it anymore.' i took off my uniform, grabbed a sharp clean knife and just slit my arms. 

cut
cut
cut
cut. 

what a pathetic little bitch i am. i should've killed myself when my parents told me too. why did i hold back, why didn't i just end it right in front of there eyes. why was i so scared.. 

cut
cut
cut
cut
cut.

all of my thoughts were in complete sync as i was slitting open my arms. i suddenly stopped and looked at my arm. all of my blood was dripping down on the floor, the smell of wet metal was hitting my nose like a rocket emitting smoke from its rocket jets. my arm was open, it started to hurt, even worse than before. i set the knife down and grabbed some gauze inside my drawer. i wrapped it around my arm and winced in pain as the soft bandage hit my erupting, bleeding wounds and fell asleep on the couch, restless and silently crying, hoping komi magically appears and helps me recover

[end of event, time skip to 2 days later]

i woke up, again. after 2 days of not coming to school, my throat feels like sandpaper, i can't stop coughing.  my forehead feels hot, i cant move out of the couch. this is because i let the window open and didn't cover myself with any blankets. at least tomorrow winter break starts. what am i going to do....i should call najimi, but..i dont remember if i got their number or not, i think i did, i got my phone from my pocket, looked through my contacts and called najimi, or so i thought i did. the phone was ringing, and someone finally picked up "hey, dajimi? sorry to disturb you but can you get me some electdrolytes or soub? i haff a cold soo....dajimi are you there? " i waited for 5 seconds and i just heard noises of utter worriment, it was actually komi whom i called. "gomi...GOMI?! oj crad, Um...no! im actually ogay! u dong deed to come, ill get you sigk! i got the wrong dumber, ill call dajimi instead, sorry!" i hanged up and silently screamed, how can i be so stupid? did i press the wrong button or something??? 

i then called najimi and told them about me being sick. after a few minutes i heard someone ring the doorbell to my home, i sloppily get up trying not to die, i feel like im going to faint at any moment now. i do some crazy shit when im sick. i know this because my friends would take care of me, well my old fake friends...fuck them for lying to me. i get a mask, put it on and unlock the door, "sorry dajimi, for wasting your tidme.." i open it half way to see a worried komi there instead of an enthusiastic najimi. "uh, wha...gomi?" she gets in but i persuade her that she would get sick too. komi sat down on the couch and patted her hand on her thigh. i took it as a sign to lay down on her lap, i hesitated but im so tired and dizzy i layed down anyway. she stroked my hair a little bit and took out a thermo flask full of a hot liquid "can you d-drink a little?" she nervously said. i nodded, sat up and she handed me the lid of the flask full of the warm liquid. i took off my mask,  it smelled like ginger and it was surprisingly good. "i-i need to use y-your kitchen" komi said again, i was confused but i nodded without a thought and drank the fluid she gave me. my throat feels soothed now and less stiff. i realized that the knife i cut myself with is still on the sink, i was too weak to get up, but i hope the blood remains went away.

komi used my appliances and moved on making food for me. i didn't know what it was exactly but it smelled good. it took her around a few minutes to finish and she served me a plate full of the food she handmade. she served a spoonful to me "ah~" indicating I open my mouth, i nervously looked at the spoon "um..i-i can feed mysedlf.." I said blushing , it took her a few seconds to realise what she was doing and handed me the plate shaking and blushing out of embarrassment "thank you.." i grabbed the bowl and pulled off a little smile, that helped her calm down and reassure her that everything was okay and smiled back at me, kid you not i was dying on how she smiled, god its so cute.... after i ate the food i thanked her again and left to clean the kitchen. i started feeling dizzy so i flopped down on my couch i randomly say "i..lo..ve you...shou..ko.." komi's sweet scent wraps around me as i fade away to my hourly slumber. 

Komi Shouko POV:

as i put away the last piece of silverwares, i hear Y/N say 'i love you shouko' randomly. i can't help it but stop what i was doing and go towards Y/N. i never felt so happy my heart wanted to rip out of my chest, i blushed a deep red and covered my face with my hands...i realised they were asleep so i grabbed the nearest blanket i could find and tucked them in it. "i...love you...to...Y/N"  i silently said. I just stood there staring at them on what it seem like forever. Then I got the courage to kiss them.. it took a few minutes to finally decide if I should or not. My imaginary cat ears popped up and I decided to do it.
I knelt down, scoot up close to their delicate face and gently kissed them on the cheek. I was about to kiss them on the forehead until I heard the door fly open by najimi. "YOO Y/NNN ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??" I retract my body away quickly and blush from embarrassment thinking if najimi saw what I was doing, I started shaking and najimi noticed i was here "oh komi, you're here?" I started shaking my head rapidly "so your not h-here?" Najimi said kind of scared but worried. I shake my head even faster "k-komi? Your head is going to fall off,  are you ok??" Najimi said startled.