Forbidden Love [Komi Shouko x Fem!reader]

Feminine Rage

Children are talking and laughing in the background, some are playing around with school materials, some are doing their work.. but out of all of everyone, the one next to me was dead calm.

What was her name? Why can't I see her clearly? Why does she haunt my mind?

she's looking at me with an unsettling stare. It looks like I'm talking to her. She looks less tense.

Why is it blurry? The only thing I can kind of see is her short hair, eyes and uniform.

"--/n... Y/n!" the girl chants all of a sudden, and so does the teacher and all the children.

I snap out of it as Najimi shakes me by the shoulders in my desk, my vision gets dizzy as they keep shaking me, making me groan. "urgh... eh?"

School sadly started again after the last week of winter break. We went to school with our mandatory uniforms and completed homework. I couldn't say the same for Najimi by how they were basically pleading with me to help them with their homework that they never started.

"Y/n!!! I thought I lost you! my homework isn't gonna do itself!" they say in a fake cry. "I thought you were going to become like Tadano! too ordinary and bland.." they place the back of their hand on their forehead, closing their eyes in a dramatic way and placing one over their heart.

 "huh?" Tadano says, confused on why he's brought into this and kind of hurt from what Najimi said. "anyways... you've been acting like this for a while now, Y/n. what's been on your mind lately for you to zone out like that?" Tadano says. "honestly... I don't know. I've been getting weird memories I didn't know i had.." I let out a sigh, placing my hand on the bridge of my nose, feeling komi by my side and expressing the same concerned confusion as Tadano.

"Well, what did you see? Hmmmm?" Najimi says, right up on my face. I back away a few inches. "I saw an elementary schooler. She was short and had short hair right up to her neck. I only saw her hair and eyes.. She looked anxious. It looked like I was helping her with something.. Might have been homework."

"bummer.. And you don't know who that kid might be?" my head meets the wooden desk, placing my head down. "Nope.. I don't remember anything from elementary school.. It's a surprise that everything is coming back now. I'm trying to think of people I know that are similar to the kid. Right now i only have superstitions that it might be-"

The bell interrupts me with its ear shattering ring right when I was about to say who they might be, everyone goes back to their seats and waits for the teacher to begin instruction. My mind wanders off again, thinking of more possible kids I remember off of my mind. Was it Najimi? Nah.. their hair was short before yes, but not to the color the girl had.. Tadano? Of course not. He's not a girl. No matter how much work he puts on crossdressing I doubt it would be the same. Shouko? She has long ass hair, I highly doubt that. Ugh.. I can't remember..

"L/n-san, can you read this section of the book?" the teacher calls upon me, placing my head away from the clouds. I stand up from my desk and get out the assigned book, following where the class left off with the help of some peers and read aloud.

"'...The mistress tried and tried hopelessly to find who the man in the black cloak was. She was stuck in her royal chambers day and night, reminiscing and connecting clues on who it might have been. all of that restless work and yet she never looked forward upon her and opened her two bejeweled eyes, to only see the man she was looking for was her future husband. Her missing half..'"

I sit back down as the teacher picks another student to read, not noticing that my girlfriend has been glancing at me from time to time. I feel her stare and look over to my side, she is shocked and embarrassed that she got caught and looks away. A low chuckle escapes from me when she turns away. My eyes rake at her features for a millionth time, not getting enough of how just kind and perfect she is. I take the time and compare the features from the girl in my flashbacks. her eyes are somewhat the same. Komi finally stares back and I smile warmly, focusing my attention back on the lesson.

[Timeskip to the end of the day]

Me and my girlfriend were walking together back home after a long and confusing day. We walked shoulder to shoulder, leading her to her home. We stop as we reach the main entrance of her gate. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Don't stay up too late, Shouko." She shakes her head and bows her head, blushing more. "...I have a question." komi mutters. I tilt my head in curiosity. "What is it?" my voice was laced with confusion. "Can we... hold hands... for a little bit?" She looks at me with a hopeful and exciting look. I extend my hand, and so does she. We interlace our fingers once more comfortably.

 She lets out a small sigh and lets out a little 'pompf.' my smile doesn't relent and i place a kiss on the back of her hand. Her face turns a bright pink at the feeling. "I love you, Shouko." She nods and fumbles over her words. "Love.... You too.." we stayed silent for what it seemed like forever until i spoke up. "I should probably go now.." . komi understands and enters her gate, waving goodbye, "get better.. Please. I'm here.. If you want to talk." I nod and return the gesture and walk away to my so-called home.

I place my bag on the couch and look inside my fridge, thinking of what I can make with the scarce food. Through the kitchen shelves, I get a plate for me and my cat until I notice a hoard of pills that's been horribly hidden. "What the fuck..." I mutter under my breath as I remove the plates and set it aside, taking out all the bottles and looking at the labels.. Dilantin, Valium, more Dilantin.. A ton of melatonin with my name on it. When did I take these? When were these pills mine to begin with? Am I sick? I doubt so. My hands shake and I start to hyperventilate, dropping the bottles I once had in my hands as I slowly realize..


They Have Been Drugging Me.


I couldn't believe it. Well, I could. but still.. Apparently those pills make you forget if you take too much. And they are for different illnesses and difficulties that I obviously don't have. They made me like this. They made me forget everything. They took my childhood away permanently. Now there's no way to get it back. My legs pace back and forth in my living room, shaking and trying to calm myself down because I'm better at doing it myself. How come I've been so oblivious? Did they infest my lunch with an abnormal dosage of valium or something?? No wonder I always had a bad aftertaste at the end of every meal.. Not just because of mothers cooking.

 My cat meows at me wondering when it's going to be fed. I calmed down and finally fed the poor thing after I had an existential crisis because my cat always comes second before Komi. My eyes land on the pills again. So then I grab the trash can and take them all out, put some in a small sandwich bag for evidence and throw the rest away. This isn't over yet. Fuck my parents. If I can't have the love and support I need from the people who are related to me..

Ill make sure they will regret having a child more than they already have. 

A/N: Good news! I remembered I had this acc!... so sorry for abandoning this book omfg. but now I'm surging with inspiration!! I hope it lasts.. ;-; Its good to be back!! <333