Return to New York

Suspicions

*Foul Language that may be sensitive to young readers. Read at your own discretion.* 

That night I couldn't sleep. I stared at the darkened corner of my room, clutching Racetracks hat in my hand so hard my knuckles turned white. The only thing I could think about was the vile human being terrorizing the streets of my home. Forcing newsies all over New York to be scared to go out at night, walk through their own boroughs. It infuriated me. My mind wandered to Spot. I hadn't seen him since he came over to apologize. I had this aching fear of going to see him. Not because of the threat of being killed, but something much deeper. Guilt ran through my veins and weighed my heart down like stones.

Finally, I gave up on trying to shut my brain off. I reluctantly got out of my bed and climbed up the ladder to the rooftop. I opened the hatch, feeling the cool night air move my hair. I stood up on the roof, looking up at the stars and the moon above my head. I looked down at the streets below me. Everything was so calm and quiet. I could hear the sounds of wagons on pavement, the clopping of horses hooves, distant ship horns, my senses were heightened. I hated feeling so helpless, so out of control. I noticed a figure walking down the middle of the streets of Manhattan. My heart instantly began to race. It was not uncommon for people of New York to be up at this time of night, but I was still driven by fear and trauma to react.

The figure walked into the moonlight, I recognized him instantly. It was Silver. My heart lifted and I sighed in relief. I was about to call out to him when I saw somebody emerge from the Alley way. It was one of the Delancey. Very quickly, I became confused. They disappeared into an alley way together, and I couldn't see anything. I couldn't tell how long it had been but it felt like minutes before the resurfaced, going on their own separate ways. I immediately felt uneasy. why had Silver come here in the middle of the night to talk to the rotten Delancey's? The thoughts turned in my head, it could possibly be me overthinking the situation but with the current state of affairs, it was just.

Quickly I stood up, closing the ceiling hatch behind me as I climbed down the ladder. I quickly made my way to the door. I tried my best to keep quiet as I went down the stairs and into the boys bunk room. The snores filled the air as I snaked around until I reached Jack's bed. His hair was a mess and head tossed back, breathing heavily. I stifled back a laugh as I poked at him, shaking him gently. Jack's eyes squeezed shut and he rubbed them, letting out a groan.
"Y/n, what the hell do ya want?" His groggy voice choked out.
"I want to go to Brooklyn." I put plain and simple. In the past, jack would have been the last person that I went to. Racetrack has always been my go-to crutch in life and now he was gone. I needed somebody else to confide in. Hopefully, jack meant what he said and he wouldn't get mad at me.

"Now? It's the middle of the night!" Jack exclaimed in surprise at my request. His reaction was completely understandable, I had woken him up in the middle of the night and asked to travel across New York with me. 
"Please Jack? I need to talk to Spot." 

At this point, Jack was sitting up in bed, looking at me through squinted eyes, his eyebrow was raised up in question before he let out a groan of protest. "Why'd it have to be Spot." He muttered under his breath. 
"Hey just be glad I asked you. I would have rather gone by myself." I protested in response. Jack put his hands up in surrender to me. "Ight! I goin'." His face suddenly got softer, reaching out to put a hand on my arm. "Thank you for asking me." He said sincerely. This made me smile, connecting with my brother on an even deeper level than we were on before. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, which he quickly reciprocated. "Thank you, Jack." 

***

The walk to Brooklyn wasn't a pleasant one. Jack had his arm around me he entire time, keeping me as close to him as I could possibly get. The pounding in my chest went along with the fear that was clouding my head and causing me to look frantically around my surroundings at all times. I could sense Jack's tension in the way he had a grip on me. It was like we were feeding off each others nervousness and nothing could be done to stop the cycle. 

It had felt like an eternity by the time we had finally reached the Brooklyn Newsies docks. It was quiet, barren. Nobody was out on guard or enjoying the night. I guess Spot was taking extra precautions like the rest of us. Jack released his grip on me as we knocked on the door to the lodging house. A boy came to the door, confused by who was knocking this late at night. He seemed to recognize Jack but not me. 
"I'm here to talk to Spot."

"Spot ain't expectin' no visitors." The older boy said in a harsh tone. 
"Aye let us in will ya? before we get shot in the back?" Jack demanded, pushing his hand on the door and allowing us more room to enter the house. The older boy sighed and stepped aside, clearly too exhausted to argue. "Spots room is-"

"I know, thank you." I interrupted, talking over to to the stairs. I climbed the creaky wooden stairs until I reached a single door at the end of the hall. My heart pounded out of my chest as I approached it. I raised my hand up, shaking with anxiety and knocked on the door. From inside, I heard the bed creak and the sound of light footsteps come to the door. the lock clicked and opened. I was greeted by an extremely sleepy Spot, who seemed to quickly awaken at the recognition of my face. "Y/n? What are you doin' here?" He seemed nervous, closing the door on himself to where there was just enough space for his body to show through while leaning on the door frame. 

"I came to talk to you-"
"By yourself? You know it ain't safe out there after dark."
"Yes Spot I know. Jack came with me. Look, can I just come in?"

Spot bit his lip, looking behind himself and into his room behind him. "Um, it is a mess right now. I'd prefer if you didn't." His voice sounded... nervous? Why? 
"You realize I live with twenty other boys? I don't mind. Why you buggin'? Just let me in." At this point I was getting frustrated, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion as I tried to push past Spot into his room. He kept side stepping in front of me to prevent me from entering. I placed my hands on his bare chest and pushed him hard, causing him to stumble. 

"Damnit y/n why can't yous just listen!" Spot snapped at me, clearly frustrated. 
"Why are you so concerned about me going into your room?" I snapped back at him, raising my voice to a low shout. This was getting frustrating, I did not understand what was happening at first, but everything slowly fell into place. 

"Spot? Who's there?"

It was a female voice coming from inside of the room, one I had never heard before. I felt a pit grow in my stomach as my eyes widened in shock and mouth dropped open. 
Spot quickly pushed me back into the hallway and shut the door behind him. "Y/n, I am so sorry."

"You're sorry? You're fucking sorry?" Anger boiled up in every vein in my body as I clenched my fists together. I stared at Spot in shock. His reaction was not what I was expecting. He hung his head, stumbling on words to say and his eyes looked sorrowful. I would not be tricked by those captivating icy blue eyes anymore. "I am serious y/n, I am sor-"

"Not another word." I snarled at him, feeling tears well up in my eyes from the anger and the pain that I was feeling. I turned on my heel and made my way quickly down the stairs. 
"We're leaving." I announced to Jack who was chatting with the boy who let us in. Spot had followed me down the stairs, trying to reason with me but I couldn't hear him, I was in a blind fit of rage. 

Jack had put two and two together, observing my reaction and then looking back over at Spot. I could see that it was clear to Jack that Spot had upset me somehow. 
"You're a dead man, Spot Conlon." Jack threatened to him before leaving the door behind me, slamming it loudly.